In case you've been hiding in a hole for the last week or so: This university, as with the Muncie Police Department, has come under fire for launching a massive PR blitz against drinking.
When compared with recent American history, the parallels are uncanny.
Sept. 11, 2001, the War on Iraq and even the Federal Communication Commission's "Nipplegate" response to Justin and Janet all share resemblance to recent university events.
To name a few things: confusion, spontaneity, panic, terror and at least two or three acronyms.
University acronyms?
You betcha.
In response to recent events, the MPD (Muncie Police Department), the UPD (University Police Department) and ODS (Office of the Dean of Students) have launched a bewildering shot (BS) at trying to curb PMIs, or Parties of Mass Intoxication.
Feel free to substitute minor in there, if you're feeling slightly more risqu+â-¬.
It's up to the university and local law enforcement to ensure that this campaign doesn't become one giant April Fools' joke.
Everyone has an opinion on how America fared in the War on Iraq, just as students, faculty and parents have a take on the events the university has been forced into responding to.
Before we complain too heavily -- let's remember that there were many outcries for support from our school after the tragedies of this year took place. At the very least: We asked for it.
This massive official response is strikingly familiar to the counterterrorism techniques invoked after Sept. 11, 2001. America was caught off guard in its own little world, free of any worries from the threats of horrific violence.
We thought that about Ball State, too.
But students know now, as America did after Sept. 11, that this campus, as with the world, is far from perfect. We have to protect ourselves, or we may pay the ultimate price.
And, as of last weekend, the aforementioned offices had done a good job in curbing the majority of these supposed PMI. (America, on the other hand, just couldn't find the WMD.)
This weekend and those that follow will no doubt reveal wonders about how effective this campaign is.
Only then can we complain.
Even then, a general question has been raised among the concerned students of this campus: How far is too far?
Well, CBS learned that lesson the hard way this past January during its live broadcast of the Superbowl halftime show.
Students have begun to learn the limits by which parties can be thrown and alcohol can be consumed.
With either situation, both parties have encountered heavy penalty from authorities: CBS faced the wrath of an angry Michael Powell, while students here have found the carbon copy end of an officer's citation pad.
Is it too much? Many media industry executives have gone along with the punches from the FCC towards "indecency;" while others have protested such "excessive paranoia enforcement."
D+â-¬j+â-á vu.
We've got all the players: The only things we're missing now are leaders in spider holes, defense missiles and a terror alert system.
Perhaps we could use the elevation of Charlie Cardinal's... tail?
We know were not getting missiles anytime soon; we've had enough debates over guns.
So, with two down, that leaves us with where our next president might be hiding.
In the end, there is one important similarity between today's Iraq, America, media and Ball State students after third party involvement.
They're all stumbling into an uncertain future.
Write to Dave at heydave@bewilderedsociety.com
http://www.bewilderedsociety.com
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