"I wanted to be -- a lumberjack!" laments Michael Palin in the legendary Monty Python sketch. "Leaping from tree to tree as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia!"
Yes, what they were describing is one of the many events we classify as lumberjack sports, a collection of outdoors sports that only a modern day Paul Bunyan would be brave enough to compete in.
The sport this song was describing is called the boom run, an event where participants run over floating logs -- which are usually completely wet -- to cross from one dock to another with the fastest time. Caution: You WILL get wet.
A similar sport, log rolling, puts two competitors on the same log. The competitors run in opposite directions in an attempt to cause the other to fall. The logs start out wide and become narrower.
"I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK. I sleep all night and work all day."
Another lumberjack sport is the hot saw, which an ESPN's Great Outdoor Games host Mark Malone described as "like a snowmobile on a stick." The event consists of 10 competitors using a modified chainsaw to make three cuts into 20 inch logs.
Now that's a real man's sport.
Another burly sport is the timber speed climb, where men wearing plaid vests and blue jeans swiftly climb a 65-foot pole and make their way back down.
This skill is useful to lumberjacks when they, um, want to observe birds who nest in redwoods in their natural habitat.
A similar sport is tree topping, which adds a crosscut saw to the mix. Once the climbers reach the top, they must cut a disc off the top of the log.
"I cut down trees. I eat my lunch. I go to the lavatory."
Obviously, many of the sports involve chopping and sawing wood. The endurance combines chopping and sawing skills in an event of Bunyan proportions.
"On Wednesdays I go shoppin' and have buttered scones for tea."
Lumberjack sports collect men from all over the wooded areas of the United States and Canada to compete in contests that combine strength and balance.
Besides, they can chop you to bits if you make fun of them. Not that they would.002,-¦q)+â-¬ "wwwoslumberjack3.9DNEditorial002SORT>+â-ä2AUDT
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