Editor's Note: This is part one of a five-column seriesdealing with dating and relationships.
Mr. Hart, one of three owners of the company, sat at theboardroom table looking at his two partners grimly.
"Look, guys," he said, "We need to merge with somebody now. Ican't stand being alone anymore."
The others sitting at the table looked at one another. BeforeMr. Einstein could speak, Mr. Johnson interrupted him, wildlyscreaming, "Oh yeah! That's a great idea! I've been telling youguys that for years now! We need to hook up with another company,one that looks real good, that knows how to take care of businessif you know what I mean, and we'll just take it over. Then I'llhave their people take care of us real sweet!"
All calmly and rationally, as always, Mr. Einstein waved hishands gently to quiet down the easily-excited Mr. Johnson.
"I understand that neither of you will shut up until we lookinto this," Mr. Einstein said. "Now I'm content with us justremaining as we are, but I know you both want to move on to biggerand better things."
"Yes, yes, bigger things indeed! They better be real big!" Mr.Johnson said deviously, rubbing the tips of his fingers togetherlike Mr. Burns from "The Simpsons."
"Quiet, man!" Einstein said, smacking Mr. Johnson across theface.
"It's just that sometimes I can't handle running this business,"Mr. Hart said. "And I need someone for support. But you guys arenever any help. You don't understand my problems."
Mr. Einstein nodded. "You're right, I agree. But you mustunderstand, this isn't an easy task. I've got both of your guys'interests in mind. Left to your own devices, you, Mr. Hart, wouldleave this company a broken man, and Mr. Johnson would hurt Godknows how many others before dying alone, pathetic and diseased.You need my guidance if we're going to succeed."
Both Mr. Hart and Mr. Johnson knew he was right. In order toaccomplish their goals they needed Mr. Einstein's strategies. AndMr. Einstein knew that in order for the company to stay afloat, Mr.Hart and Mr. Johnson both had to be happy. Now he could try beatingthe two knuckleheads into submission, but he knew the two wouldnever be silenced. For all the trouble the little bastard caused,sometimes Mr. Einstein just wanted to cut Mr. Johnson loose andthrow him out on the street.
The only option, though, was to listen to them. "Now, I'mwilling to put forth the effort involved in merging with anothercompany. But we need to do it my way, understand?" Mr. Einsteinasked. Mr. Hart and Mr. Johnson stared blankly.
"We work according to a plan, take things gently, and don't showall of our cards right from the get-go, and maybe, just maybe,things could work out."
Mr. Einstein stood up and walked around the room incontemplation. "We need to be ready to compromise. We need to berealistic about the other companies' flaws and learn to acceptrather than change them. I know what you're hoping for Mr. Johnson,but you've got to wait for Mr. Hart and I to establish some strongties before you get too involved.
"Remember, gentlemen, stick with me or you'll never get what youwant. That's the bottom line. All right, let's get out there."
Write to David at swimminginbrokenglass@yahoo.com
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