Just as tube tops and capris are coming out of the closet, some gay college students find themselves crawling back in the closet.
College is a perfect time for such a unique situation to take place. It is a time that many homosexuals come out of the closet, and also a time when a student has two residences. These two residences can become somewhat like two different worlds - the "out" world and the "closeted" world. In some cases, it is only a matter of miles between the truth that can produce potential family problems.
Gay college students who are not "out" to their families at home go through an incredible amount of stress. Those who choose not to tell their families do so for many reasons. Some stay closeted because they are afraid their parents they may kick them out of the house, cut off funding for college or disown them all together once they find out. Unfortunately, we both know personal stories of all three reactions, and these stories keep students in the closet.
Mat: There are those parents who are still hung up on anti-homosexual ways and it's hard to find out where your parents stand on the issue of homosexuality in general, unless they make it obvious. I'm sure being gay wouldn't help, because if you raise the issue to find out where your parents stand, suspicions may rise.
Kevin: Before I came to college, the only gay people I came across were the ones on "Jerry Springer." I only wish I was kidding. I knew I didn't act like the stereotypical gay guy on "Springer," so I didn't identify as gay. It wasn't until I talked to another gay college student my first night on campus and realized not all gay men wear leopard-print pants and white go-go boots. I'm pretty sure my family's only contact with gays is through television, so it's hard for me to judge how they will handle my "coming out."
Mat: The closest I have been to the straight equivalent of "coming out" would be when I told my parents I was writing the Spectrum column this semester. It sparked a little curiosity as I got the look of "why" from them. However, it ended up fine. Maybe that's because they were reassured my girlfriend was not just a person I go shopping with.
Kevin: At presstime my parents don't know, or at least I haven't told them, about me writing this column. Actually, I just came out to my mom two weeks ago. I haven't told my dad yet, but I think he will be accepting. I'm a prime example of someone who is ready to take the hinges off the closet doors, maybe just in time to make way for my summer wardrobe.
Final thought: If you identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, that doesn't change when you go home for the summer. Whether it be Small Town, U.S.A. or Ball State - you're queer and you're here - or there.
Write to Kevin and Mat at twobsuguys@yahoo.com
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