According to ABC News, a recently concluded project funded by the U.S. Department of Defense has produced the ingredients for the mother of all stinkbombs. This new weapon is featured in two rancid-smelling varieties: rotting garbage and human waste.
"These were the two that most people had an extreme reaction to -- our testers said these were probably the worst thing they ever smelled," said Pam Dalton, a researcher at Monell Chemical Senses Center in Philadelphia. "When we asked them how long they would sit in a room that smelled like this they said not at all."
The stink bombs are not harmful, but are expected to jar the senses and cause revulsion and fleeing. Nonlethal Weapons Program spokespeople say the tool could prove useful in crowd control or in flushing out buildings and caves.
Finally, the government is taking a cue from high-school pranksters everywhere.
With these, the large-scale equivalents of the stink bombs we remember from high school, the government has found a new tool for aggravating our enemies.
We can only imagine flaming bags of poo and toilet-papered foliage to come for our enemies. On the horizon, there must be bashed mailboxes, egged military vehicles, and spray-painted graffiti for those who attempt to destroy our way of life.
Silly as we make it seem, this new stink bomb warfare is a good thing. Weapons of mass destruction are frightening things of the past; weapons of mass annoyance are warfare-lite, but still effective in rooting out our enemies and resolving conflicts.
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