Keeping it Real: How COVID-19 worsened my mental health
By Delmy Hernandez / April 2, 2021My assignments were put on hold, my symptoms continued to develop, and, although I’ve recovered, my mental health deteriorated in the process.
My assignments were put on hold, my symptoms continued to develop, and, although I’ve recovered, my mental health deteriorated in the process.
Recollecting on my own experience at Ball State, as a Black woman and a first-generation college student, no one warned me in advance that I would and should be responsible for making my education my own.
Women are consistently looked at when it comes to sex and love. If we say something about love, it is analyzed under a microscope. If we don’t, we are asked what’s on the horizon for our love life and why we don’t have a romantic partner. If we show our bodies or dress provocatively, we are shunned. For a woman, it’ll always be about sex and love, and I’m sick of it.
Fans of these stereotypically “nerdy” movies, shows, books and games have been through their fair share of discrimination and bullying, no matter their gender. Many of them turn to these worlds as a safe space where they are free to be themselves. If these women are bullied in the “mainstream” world then shunned from the world they escape to, where are they left to turn? Women in these communities aren’t going anywhere, and it’s time we are represented and treated with respect.
I am a woman in the workplace. I am one woman on a college campus of 22,000 students — an intellectual trying to save money for her college education by waitressing at one of the only restaurants and bars open during a pandemic — and I am tired of feeling like a trophy rather than a colleague, entertainment rather than an employee.
While introverts may not like large social gatherings or constantly being the center of attention, they do have qualities that make them valuable during social gatherings and are good friends to keep around.
Life is unexpected. A 6 may beat a 2, a Jack may beat a 10 and a Queen may beat a Jack, but love trumps all.
The logic that one can only have an eating disorder if they look a certain way, are a certain gender or weigh a certain number is stereotypical and discourages those who do not fit the societal criteria from seeking help for serious disordered eating.
The story of Black students at Ball State is one of perseverance — it is a story of the Black students’ tenacity and faith in themselves, each other and the university.
Imagine this: You’re the shy girl sitting in the back of the classroom — silently doodling in the margins of your notebook. No one has ever noticed you, and they never will. That is, not until those chunky glasses come off.
So, you’ve signed up little Robert for tee ball, and before long, you realize your child is good. Not just good — this kid is going to be the next Derek Jeter. So, naturally, you take the next step and install a full baseball infield in your basement, spend every weekend at the batting cages and travel all over the country competing in prestigious Little League tournaments. After all, you want to give your little champion the best chance at getting that college scholarship and set them up for a beautiful, storied career in the MLB, right?
I was raised with the belief that once you are brought into this world, you have a purpose and are deserving of life. The morals that have been instilled in me since birth tell me laws like the death penalty should cease to exist, but morality can’t necessarily be backed up by fact.
A click of the remote brought the booming voices of reporters from the television right to my living room. Slowly, members of my family made their way to the television too — a flash of stone cold reality we were usually able to escape from in our isolated Indiana home. Wide-eyed and almost mesmerized by what was happening, we stood in awe as Americans congregated and broke into the United States Capitol building with weapons, waved flags, intimidated police officers, sat in representatives’ seats and treated the sacred building as if it were their territory to destroy.
Before I stepped onto campus as a sophomore this fall, I knew it was going to be nothing like my freshman year. Classes were online, fall break was canceled and students moved home for the semester right before Thanksgiving. At the time, I couldn’t tell if the lack of rest fall break and Labor Day provided would even make a difference in the semester.
When I tell you I’m speechless, when I tell you I feel betrayed, when I tell you it took less than a moment for the light to leave my eyes, I say that with my whole chest. I wanted to avoid controversy and keep the peace, but an anger which has long remained stagnant within me has been reignited. At the risk of rambling, I’ll just say it — Raisin Bran should be illegal.
The winter has always made me feel nostalgic. Waking up to cold air makes me feel like a 16-year-old boy, scrambling to get my jammers and goggles for swim practice, slamming back coffee and sprinting out the door. Now, with the end of the fall 2020 semester so close and that fabled finish line in sight, I’ll have more to remember waking up in the winter.
My freshman year, this column was titled “Demi’s Diems.” I tried to play on the saying “Carpe Diem” or “Seize the day,” therefore making my column name “Demi’s Days.” It was an easy decision when I found out I could change my column title sophomore year — I mean, come on, “Demi’s Diems” was pretty terrible. So, I chose the column name “Unspoken.”
If you’re someone who has a “unique” name, you probably know the mortal embarrassment of roll call on the first day of school. I grew up memorizing my place in the roll call list, and the moment the teacher would falter, I knew my time had come.
It is nothing new to say that this is the most important election in history. We have seen record-breaking results from mail-in ballots this year due to the pandemic, and we have citizens who call other countries home sitting on the edge of their seats in anticipation for the results of the election.
Growing up I heard stories of black cats running under ladders and breaking mirrors causing bad luck. The person who let me in on the secret witchcraft of black cats also threw salt over their shoulder if a grain of it spilled on any surface but their plate. It is a pretty common superstition to think black cats are a bad omen, but thinking it could cause misfortune or death has led to the substantial decrease in appeal for the furry creatures. Because of this, and several other factors, black cats struggle to get adopted.
