Christmas. New Years. Valentine's Day. The three holidays are called the Bermuda Triangle by some students who say it is the worst time to not have a significant other.
Valentine's Day is here, so couples and singles across campus find different ways to celebrate or not celebrate the heart-filled holiday. Despite not everyone being in a relationship, Carolyn Kapinus, associate professor of sociology, said college is a crucial part of a person's development.
"People are moving past adolescence, but they're not quite fully independent adults yet because of going to school," she said. "It's a good time to also learn about oneself and how oneself is in a relationship and what somebody wants out of a relationship."
THE LONG DISTANCE COUPLE
It was during her junior year at Barrington High School in Illinois, when Danni Shanahan met Tony Rios. The junior public relations major was a cheerleader and he was a football player.
Ever since decorating his locker before the games, the two got to know one another.
On a day when Shanahan forgot to decorate Rios' locker, he jokingly confronted her about it. They began talking from there on.
"He's a family person. He's really easy to talk to," she said. "He's really shy, which is the complete opposite of me... He's always willing to give people a chance no matter if they've done wrong or right."
For Rios, it was the fact that Shanahan listens to him.
"She's a great listener. If I ever need anything or have any problems, she always there and always listening," he said. "I just trust her."
The two have been dating for almost four years, three of which have been long distance. While Shanahan studies at Ball State, Rios works in Barrington, Ill., a four hour drive from Muncie.
Both agreed that open communication is what keeps them together.
Lisa Meyer, sophomore legal studies major, has been friends with Shanahan since the start of the school year and has met Rios at least once. She said the two are a great couple.
"The fact that they can make it work being four hours away from each other says a lot about their relationship," she said. "They know each other inside and out now, so it's not as tough as it could be."
The couple sees one another about four times a semester, each taking a turn driving back and forth.
When they are together, they spend time with one another's friends and families. They also usually take a night to eat dinner together at their favorite Chipotle.
Kapinus teaches classes on sexuality that covers dating on a college campus. She said that couples in long distance relationship experience something fresh when they are together.
"If people are together everyday for a really long period of time, things can become routine and people can kind of take their partners for granted," she said. "That's definitely harder to do in a long distance relationship because people realize that the time together is precious."
Shanahan said the hardest part about being apart from her boyfriend is seeing other couples on campus.
"It's just seeing couples walking around, that stupid cutesie stuff like seeing couples walking into class or coming over to hang out," she said. "I miss being able to go to parties with him or just go out to dinner just for fun."
The couple said they'll be apart from each other on Valentine's Day, but even if they were together they wouldn't be celebrating.
"I'm not a big mushie-gushie person," Shanahan said. "I absolutely hate Valentine's Day. I would rather bum around and do math homework all day."
THE NEW COUPLE
Just three weeks ago, freshmen Emily Anderson and Justin Tillery began dating. The two met through friends at a party one night.
"I joke about anything good that happens to Emily, I take credit for it," Travis Campbell, freshman English major said. "I actually didn't have anything to do with them meeting. Emily's my best friend and Justin's one of my fraternity brothers, so I may have been the reason Emily was at that party."
After meeting, the two decided to get to know each other better. One night Anderson went over to Tillery's room in Johnson Complex at 11 p.m. and they began talking. Seven hours later, the two were still talking.
"We didn't watch movies," she said. "We just sat there and talked. It was pretty cool to me. I've never been able to sit and talk to someone for seven hours straight. We never ran out of things to talk about."
A few weeks later, the two were a couple. Because their personalities were the same, Tillery said it was easy to get along.
"We are incredibly weird people," he said. "We are both a little cynical. We have the same sense of humor. I like her humor a lot."
For Anderson, it's his funny fake British accent and their awkwardness that makes their relationship work.
"We're insanely awkward," she said. "One of the first times we kissed, it got interrupted by us talking about Star Wars or something stupid. We're so awkward. Things that would normally make couples not work, works with us. We are just weird."
Although the couple never specifically discussed celebrating Valentine's Day, Tillery had some ideas.
"I have a couple plans, pretty much all embarrassing to her," he said. "Only time will tell which plan I'll choose."
Kapinus offers advice for new couples who want to celebrate Valentine's Day and not feel the pressure.
"I think if they could maybe focus on the fun aspects of Valentine's Day and not feel like well if they're in a brand new relationship, they have to declare their love that day," she said. "I think for people to remember, it really can be about fun."
LONG-TERM COUPLE
In September 2008, Jordan Reed, a senior business major, decided to ask a girl in his sociology class for her number under the premise that he might need help with homework or studying at some point.
"I was kind of naive. I thought he was really asking about class," Kayla Long, a junior nursing major, said.
Reed ended up calling her and the two spent time together, eventually going on their first date to Mancino's Pizza and Grinders. It was a little awkward because they didn't know each other yet, they said, but after two and a half years the couple is still together.
One of the benefits of having a long term relationship, they said, is just having someone to be there for you.
"There's a lot of benefits," Reed said. "You have a girlfriend as well as a best friend. Somebody to share the daily experiences of life with."
Not only are the couple dating, but they have also lived together for almost two years. Since they spend so much time together, they thought it would be easier than getting two separate apartments.
"That's another benefit of having a relationship such as ours," Reed said. "There's a lot of sharing our expenses and responsibilities."
Merissa Miller, junior nursing major, has known the couple since they began dating. She said the "practically married" couple work well together for several different reasons.
"They respect each other's opinions," she said. "They also spend a lot of time together as well as apart from each other."
Kapinus said the key to a healthy relationship is when both partners enjoy the other's good qualities. She said they must encourage one another to grow and provide support as they grow with each other.
"There needs to be a balance of providing support, sharing things in common but allowing partners to be independent and supportive of each other's school and career goals and personal goals as well," she said.
Long and Reed are getting ready to celebrate their third Valentine's Day together. Instead of going out on the day though, they will be celebrate the day after because of work schedules. They plan on exchanging gifts, going to dinner and hanging out, they said.
"I think it's a day definitely to express more love than other normal days," Long said. "Sometimes you get in a routine of not enough hugs or kisses, so we definitely have to show the love on Valentine's Day."
SINGLE
Although Valentine's Day is known for being a couple's holiday, not everyone who celebrates is in a relationship. Mallory Jordan, freshman journalism major, plans on spending time with some of her other friends who are single.
She and her friend Myra Kaminski, sophomore international business major, are exchanging valentines and Jordan is jokingly proposing with a ring pop.
"I have fun with it," Jordan said. "I've had a valentine the last two years because I was dating someone and my friend Myra has had one the past four; and now we're both single for the first time in a while."
Kaminski said she likes having a friend who is single along with her.
"She's a really good wingman," Kaminski said. "Because she's single, she's outgoing."
Jordan said she is not one of those girls who is depressed at the thought of not having someone special on Valentine's Day. In fact, she enjoys being single.
"Even though I like relationships, and if something were to happen I would be open to it, but I'm in college," she said. "It's fun to run around and date. I like going on dates because I can meet new people. Plus on the weekend I want to be able to do what I want and I don't want to have to text someone where I am all the time."
She also likes being able to schedule things on her own time, she said. It gives her more time to do her homework and focus on her studies.
But sometimes, Jordan can feel the pressure to find that special someone from friends who are already in relationships.
"It's fun sometimes because sometimes my friends set me up on dates," she said. "So there is a plus side. But sometimes people don't understand that my friend Myra and I... we are happy single. We are independent people. Yeah, sometimes we wish we had someone but we are actually happy single. It's possible."
Besides, Jordan has already done the relationship thing, she said. She was in a long-term relationship that was filled with a lot of drama before college and said she does not want to
deal with that again.
"People don't have to be so scared to be single," Jordan said. "I feel like girls are more scared to be single than guys though. So don't be scared."
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