Wheaties doesn't put losers on its box.
Mary Lou Retton, the first woman to appear on the front of a Wheaties box, was honored after becoming the first female gymnast from outside Eastern Europe to win an Olympic all-around title. Michael Phelps appeared on the box after earning eight gold medals at the 2008 Beijing Olympics.
Retton, Phelps and other Wheaties personalities are champions; they will be remembered, even idolized, for their triumphs.
Although we sometimes respect the losers for their efforts and perseverance, we often immortalize the winners for their achievements and perceived superiority.
Jeffrey Spencer, a blogger for Psychology Today and former Olympic cyclist, advocates this sentiment: "Despite varied opinions on the subject, becoming a winner may be the most important thing a person can do in life and does matter in very big ways."
He refers to winning as the definitive factor in leading a passionate, productive, purposeful and prosperous life.
Yet, not everyone aspires to win — at least, not all the time. At the opening ceremony of this year's Winter Olympics in Vancouver, British Columbia, NBC commentators noted that smaller countries send far fewer athletes than America's 216 Winter Olympians. Some send as few as one athlete and, according to the commentators, these competitors don't always compete to win a medal but participate as a symbol of international unity.
Similarly, Pierre de Coubertin, founder of the International Olympic Committee and father of the modern Olympic Games, established the games from a perspective beyond winning: "The important thing in life is not victory but combat; it is not to have vanquished but to have fought well."
The Olympics are an opportunity for some of the world's finest athletes to compete against each another, which is an honor and a privilege in and of itself.
Still, as admirable as it is to have fought well, the fallacy of de Coubertin's metaphor is that only the victorious walk away after battle. Those who fight well, but not well enough, are inevitably conquered.
Although the Vancouver Games involve more than 2,600 athletes from more than 80 countries and being ranked among the top percentile of any event is impressive, how often do we remember the second- and third-place competitors? As remarkable as a second-place athlete is, he or she is usually overshadowed by the gold medalist. The undefeated.
Winning fairly and justly is the ultimate goal, not only for the recognition, but for the personal validation. Winning is a confirmation of the time we spend practicing, creates a balance against the times we lose and inspires us to continue.
Spencer refers to a psychic void with which every human is hardwired: "The void is that black hole inside us that longs to be filled. We've all experienced it. It's that place where we sense and know something's missing in our lives but can't seem to put our finger on, let alone know how to fill it."
If winning helps fill that void, losing can motivate us to do so.
Losing is like getting a parking ticket at Ball State. It happens to everyone, and we can endlessly complain or pay the fine and learn from the experience. Next time, we put in more quarters for more minutes. We practice more. We sweat more. We learn to not park in handicapped spaces; we learn to play fairly.
Winning need not be considered in such objective terms. Before writing off Spencer as a single-minded trophy glutton, he and de Coubertin may find a point of convergence by understanding that Spencer defines winning as "achieving a pre-meditated goal." That pre-meditated goal isn't necessarily a gold medal or a Wheaties cover. Experience, development and performing to one's personal best are more controllable goals, and competing with this mentality can more than occasionally culminate with earning a medal or award.
We should lose at least as often as we win, if for no other reason than to become stronger, to understand the challenge of our endeavors, whatever that may be.
"Nobody's going to win every time and that's actually a good, not a bad, thing. Winning every time is more an indication of living life too much in the safe zone with the aspiration bar set too way low," Spencer wrote.
Those who always win can become static without a stronger force to compete against. Losing identifies a challenge and how we respond to that challenge often determines if, when and how often we will win in the future.