As the holidays approach, we are faced with the daunting task of choosing gifts for the people we care about. For cash-strapped college students, sometimes those gifts don't end up being quite as nice as we hoped. It's the thought that counts, right? With that in mind, we have a list of gifts we wish we could give the Ball State University in light of our favorite news events of 2008.
- Give the theater students a new stage so they don't have to rehearse plays with toy guns in the library.
- Give the football team its own rodeo clown so it doesn't get beat by the Bulls again.
- Give Ball State a dictionary to understand the meaning of the word free in "smoke free."
- Give smokers a giant bubble to keep them out of bad weather.
- Give the Scramble Light a left-turn signal.
- Give the university $200,000 from Ronny Thompson's bank account.
- Give the intramural sports people a jousting stick signed by Venom, the American Gladiator and Ball State alumna.
- Give the field hockey team a banner at the BSU Turf Field honoring its program record - 17 losses in one season.
- Give Humans vs. Zombies participants balled-up socks and Nerf guns.
- Give Brady Hoke a better contract.
- Give the university a coupon from the fire department for five free elevator rescues.
- Give the parking garages roofs so people can't throw things like cinder blocks and dead squirrels off them.
- Give former professor George Mundrake some breath mints after he chewed on a police car window seal.
- Give the cheerleaders mats so they don't keep injuring themselves in practice.
- Give the "BSU Late Night" staff buttons that say "Bonerific."
- Give Jo Ann Gora's legs a photo shoot.