Ball State University women's volleyball assistant coach Hugh Hernesman vaguely remembers the first date with his wife, Stephanie.
"It was probably your standard dinner, movie," Hugh Hernesman said. "First impressions - I think I was really nervous."
Stephanie, a volunteer assistant coach with the team, remembers things more clearly.
"He started flirting with me first," she said. "I thought he was cute - cute and funny."
This give-and-take attitude has certainly paid dividends for the couple - the only married coaching duo on campus. The Hernesmans have found a way to manage time between raising their two-year-old son, Austin, and helping head coach Dave Boos revive the Ball State volleyball program.
"I think that [the Hernesmans] are opposites in many ways, which makes them compliment each other very well," Boos said. "I think that he's a pretty laid back guy, and she's a little bit more intense, and I think those two things as coaches works out well."
Boos said the same goes for outside of Worthen Arena.
"I think it's probably the same basic structure for their married life as well," Boos said.
The road to Ball State
The Hernesmans met in college at the University of Wisconsin-Whitewater, where both Hugh and Stephanie were standouts for the men's and women's volleyball programs.
Stephanie was a three-time American Volleyball Coaches Association All-American at Wisconsin-Whitewater from 1995-98 and guided the WarHawks to a national semifinal appearance in 1995. Her 2,091 career digs ranks second all-time at the school, and her 686 digs in the 1997 season is still a school record.
Hugh played and later coached for the men's club team from 1991 to 1997 while working on his bachelor's degree in secondary education. As a player at Wisconsin-Whitewater he was a four-time All-Conference selection. As a coach Hernesman guided the program to a fifth place finish in the national tournament in 2002.
From 1995 to 2004 Hernesman was also an assistant for the WarHawk women's volleyball team, which won the Division III National Championship in 2003 and was national runner-up in 2000 and 2001.
Hugh accepted the women's volleyball head coaching position at Hardin-Simmons University in Abilene, Texas, in 2004 and took Stephanie along with him as his assistant. From 2004 to 2006 the Hernesmans guided the program to a 47-43 overall record, including the 2005 and 2006 seasons when Hugh was named American Southwest Conference Coach of the Year.
That's when an old friend came calling.
Boos - who befriended, played and coached against the Hernesmans while at the University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh from 1994 to 1999 - had accepted the job at Ball State prior to last season and knew exactly who he wanted on his staff.
"When I took this position I wanted to bring in a staff who knew me well, who believed in the vision I had in the program," Boos said. "Also, [the Hernesmans] had just gotten done revamping their own program down in Texas, and I thought their experience in that would be very valuable for the program."
Boos said he was excited to pick up two coaches in one package in Stephanie and Hugh.
"That's definitely part of the reason why I wanted them on the staff because I knew I would be able to get two quality coaches on my staff together," Boos said. "So that was a big part of the process, actually."
Stephanie said Muncie was a big part of the selection process.
"I think the University is beautiful," she said. "I think [Muncie is] a good community. I don't mind a small community, especially now that we have a family, we just hang out at home or do stuff, go to the park or whatnot, so it's good for us - I really enjoy it."
'Good people'
Sophomores Karin Caudill and Ashley Heyman have been coached by the Hernesmans since last season.
Both said the players don't even notice their coaches' marriage on the court.
"I don't really notice it, but it's fun having them both here," said Heyman, a middle blocker. "They're good people, and they care about volleyball and us."
Caudill, a setter, said the Hernesmans are "just like a cute little family."
"Hugh is definitely fun to get along with," Caudill said. "You know you can joke around with him, but get some good work in at the same time."
Stephanie said while small volleyball conflicts have arisen between her and her husband, it doesn't carry into their relationship.
"We're not necessarily conflicting where we're arguing, but we will definitely disagree," she said. "Sometimes I have a different perspective being female and kind of what's going on the court than he does. We talk about it - sometimes we agree to disagree - but I think for us, we can really talk and figure out a good solution."
Hugh said some people incorrectly assume his wife and him are always on the same page when it comes to volleyball.
"I think that sometimes people assume that because we're married, we're just going to think the same and back each other up on everything - and it's real different," he said. "I think our relationship is very different than our coaching relationship and we have our own viewpoints. Probably 95 percent of the things we agree on conceptually, but there's some other things that we just have our own opinions, just like anybody else would."
A balancing act
If coaching a Division I volleyball program wasn't enough, the Hernesmans have to also balance time raising their son, Austin.
Hugh said child-raising andcoaching volleyball year-round can provide the same rush.
"I would say probably what the toughest part is managing having a two-year-old, too, and getting him back and forth to day-care and school and preschool things," he said. "But during the season it's generally chaotic anyway, so it's nothing overwhelming for us."
Stephanie said coming home to her son after a tough day is therapeutic.
"[On a] bad day you go pick him from day-care and it's, 'Mommy, mommy, mommy!,' or ,'Daddy!,' the same way," Stephanie said. "He is a joy - he's a lot of hard work - but he's a good kid and I'm glad that he is in our lives."
Hugh said being a parent is "a joy you can't really prepare yourself for."
"It makes a tough day a lot easier when you see [Austin] at the end of the day, at least for me, or after a loss, it puts things in perspective," he said. "It gives you good balance in your life. He's awesome."
Through it all, Stephanie has committed to the volleyball program under volunteer status.
"I don't know that there's another volunteer assistant at many other schools that do the things that she does," Hugh said. "She's got pretty heavy responsibilities that she does incredibly. I guess I'm constantly in awe at the things she's able to juggle - it's pretty impressive."
Boos said he feels fortunate to have a committed volunteer like Stephanie on his staff.
"It's very clear that Steph really loves being a coach," Boos said. "It isn't the easiest situation for her to continue to be as involved as she is and I know she puts in all the time she has available to help out the program. It's a huge asset, plus it's huge benefit not just for the staff, but for the girls on the team."
Looking to the future
The Hernesmans don't have a clue where their path will take them next, but haven't ruled out heading another team at some point down the road.
"I think we've talked about it. In our last school, I was the head coach and Steph was my assistant," Hugh said. "I think eventually that will happen."
For now, however, the couple is content with being Cardinals.
"We're busy building this program and it's a lot of work to do that and I think that dominates most of our time as to, 'What can we do to make the program better?' recruiting-wise, training-wise," Hugh said. "All the different aspects of the program right now is our main focus."
The Hernesmans and the rest of the volleyball program can be seen next on Friday night at home against Kent State University.
Click here to see a video interview women's volleyball coaches Hugh and Stephanie Hernesman
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