Dear Gigolo Joe:My roommate is flipping out about college. He's been pretty busy with classes and outside activities. Lately, when he isn't gone or studying until late at night, he is talking about dropping out of college because he just can't handle it. I feel bad for him, but I really don't know what to do for him. Should I call the Counseling Center and try to get him a counselor or something, or should I just let him handle it? My roommate is flipping out.
Dear My roommate is flipping out:This is a delicate situation because you don't want to see your roommate spiral down into oblivion. I would just ask your roommate if he needs your help. If he says yes, by all means help him out. But, he might not ask for any help, so all you can do is to watch him carefully. You never know because if he is so upset he might be self-destructive or break down emotionally. At that point, you should call counselors to help your roommate out.
And don't think college is for everybody, because it isn't. He just might not be made for the college life, however fun it might be. He might go to a trade school or go home and relax. Who knows. He might go to a community college instead, which might suit him better.
Dear Gigolo Joe:I have been having a privacy issue with my roommate. Sometimes I'd just like to sit in my room and watch television or read a book or just sit without her sitting there. Sometimes it feels all she does is sit and scrapbook all day.
God forbid I want to study or do something without her asking me how my day went. One of the reasons I went to college is to get away from my mom who always asked those questions. Alone time.
Dear Alone time:It's understandable that you want to be alone some of the time. And sometimes the library or the Quad aren't good enough because they are not home sweet home. You and your roommate should set aside hours in the day to stay out of each others business and give the other person her space.
I would say two hours of alone time would be enough time every once in a while to recharge your batteries. It's understandable to want to be alone after a day of classes and work because social interaction feels like work a lot of the time. But maybe your roommate feels the same way, and once her day is finished, she might not want to go back outside and socialize. So, whatever you do, be flexible. Everybody is different, so you have to recognize that.
And if she does have a problem with her shyness or something, by all means, talk to her about it. Just because you are living together doesn't mean you should just live together.
Write to Joe atjacermak@bsu.edu
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