At this point in the semester, I think it's important to discuss a few buzz words plaguing our society. These words are everywhere; we can sling them at the political candidate with whom we least agree or use them to insulate ourselves against intolerance and prejudice.
Three of them, two actions and a label, stand out as most threatening to the tastes of our enlightened Information Age: 'assume,' 'judge' and 'offensive.' Identify them; snuff them out! People who 'assume,' 'judge,' and 'offend' are the problem with the United States today. They stand in the way of a united world society. It is our duty as the next generation of decision-makers and leaders to stop them before they destroy the high ideals on which this country was founded: life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, the Monroe Doctrine, McDonald's. We must stamp these words out before they dehumanize again.
Or is there another choice? The problem with witch-hunting for words is it brings back good ol' Senator Joe McCarthy and puts him firmly in the position he still doesn't deserve. In fact, on closer examination of these words, you may discover you've never had any business throwing them around in the first place. Here's a short guide in case you feel one creeping up during your next fight:
- "Assume," verb: to take for granted, to presuppose; to "make an ass of you and me." This one is a good one to use if someone just doesn't get your many quirks and foibles. "Don't assume!" you could shout while cranking up the volume on your Taking Back Sunday mix. "Don't assume you know me!" You could also use it as an accusation: "So-and-so assumes I kissed her boyfriend at that party just because he had my shade of lipstick on his neck! I know, right?"
- "Judge," verb: to give a ruling, to give a verdict; to acquit when the gloves don't fit. This one works a lot like "assume," but can also work as a touché in a snap when someone's opinions make you uncomfortable. "Judge" also comes in a convenient variety of forms, like "judgment" and "judgmental." Try it this way: "Professor What's-his-face is so judgmental! He gave me a C- on my Econ paper because I didn't spell my name right!" ("Don't judge me! You can't possibly know what I'm going through!" is also terrific, and it's golden if you can work in a few tears at the end.)
- "Offensive," adjective: unpleasant, insulting, rude; how to describe something threatening or otherwise challenging to your way of thinking. "Offensive" is a whammy of a word; it's the most effective of the three for getting rid of something you'd rather not deal with. Here, try this: "Professor What's-his-face's lecture today was so offensive" - and close your binder indignantly here for added effect - "He told us that some people think the war in Iraq was a good idea! I know, right?" May it also be known the moniker 'offensive' has come into special vogue over the last few years, spurred on by celebrities Don Imus, Mel Gibson, Michael Richards and now Dog the Bounty Hunter. Glossy and unspecific, yet emotionally loaded, 'offensive' ensures that you, too, can be inarticulate and vague!
Obviously, there are people who really do assume, judge, and offend out of purely prejudiced motives, and they are the ones to avoid. But it is our job as English speakers to know what we're saying. So, a few choices exist: hunt down those who assume, judge and offend, or get a thesaurus. And grow a spine. You decide; I've got finals to get ready for.
Write to Joel at jtmiller@bsu.edu
Read More
Three Air Jam teams take home the win
October 12, 2012Nineteen teams shimmied, shook and flipped for a sold out John R. Emens Auditorium on Thursday night during the 25th annual Air Jam.
Bill Clinton Speaks at North Central High School
October 12, 2012Former President's Speech Could Have Effect on State Senate Race
