It's that time of year in Muncie. We're all back from Spring Break. We've gone to class for a week and tried to get into the groove, but the weather keeps getting nicer outside as our classes keep getting lousier.
To make it worse, we don't even have "Armed and Famous" to make fun of anymore! The show that put Muncie on the map has been canceled, leaving a huge void for those of us who feel Muncie still has plenty to offer the world of "reality TV."
So I need a few industrious telecommunications students to help me out here. "Armed and Famous" may be dead and buried, but here are a few shows to help lift these boredom blues in Muncie.
First, we need to get on the phone with Fox executives and see if they need to fill any holes in their Saturday lineup. Muncie may be able to offer the perfect complement to "Cops." Some of you may have heard that the University Police Department moved during Spring Break, taking over the former Alpha Tau Omega fraternity house at 200 N. McKinley Avenue.
Police say they made the move as part of an image boost, hoping to help students forget their trigger-happy reputation as they morph into super fun frat cops. Now how would that not make a great TV show?
I can see it now. In the premiere episode, the frat cops throw a huge keg party and get busted by the "Armed and Famous" cops (networks love cameos!) in the same week Playboy decides to put Ball State University back on their Top Party Schools list.
So Kay Bales, vice president of student affairs, brings in the leader of the frat cops and tells them they have six months to change their ways if they want to get off super-triple-ultimate-crazy-secret triple probation. From there, we get to follow the frat cops through a season of hijinks, as they turn the Village into party central while occasionally taking a break to bust a few squares who actually go to class on Fridays.
Not your cup of tea? Well, for the "American Idol" crowd, sponsored by votefortheworst.com, we bring you "So You Think You Can Sing!" Hosted by none other than Ryan Dunkelman, the man shunned from AI by Ryan Seacrest after season one, the show will feature terrible singers, the worst we can find. They'll be mentored to become worse by celebrity judges LaToya Jackson, Michael Bolton and Donny Osmond, and in the end America will get to vote for the worst singer imaginable, who will then get a contract to record an album with Hinder, the worst band imaginable.
We'll film the show in Muncie, because LaToya said she wants to come back, and if she's nice, we'll even let her perform "I Don't Play That" as the theme song.
If all that fails, we could give Happy Friday Guy his own late-night talk show right after NewsWatch at 9. He could interview students, rip on his music director Test On Monday Guy and occasionally scream "Happy FRIDAY!" as he throws candy at the live audience while riding his scooter across the Pruis stage. Hell, it beats Dave Letterman's canned hams!
Excuse me. I have a Fox executive on line three.
Write to Jonathan at johnathansanders@justice.com
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