In the movie "Titanic," Jack Dawson is faced with a dining dilemma when he doesn't know which piece of silverware to use first. Thankfully, the Unsinkable Molly Brown rescues him and tells him to start on the outside and work his way in.
This advice might seem simple, but not everyone will have a Molly Brown sitting next to them at a formal dinner. Students can avoid problems by learning not only dinner etiquette but basic business etiquette as well.
Although most students do not attend formal dinners on a regular basis, many will eventually find themselves in an environment where professional etiquette is essential.
It is becoming more common for interviewees to go out to eat before they are hired for a job or internship, said Sheryl Swingley, journalism instructor and internship coordinator for the Department of Journalism at Ball State University.
Having good manners and being comfortable with basic dinner etiquette can set one candidate apart from another, she said.
Someone who is more refined than another candidate, even if both are both equally qualified, will probably get the job, Swingley said.
Each semester, the Career Center at Ball State University sponsors two etiquette dinners for the general student body. Students begin with a mixing and mingling session where they learn to network, approach individuals they don't know and start a conversation, Jennifer Warrner, assistant director of the Career Center, said.
Afterwards, they have a brief practice session in which the students talk with each other and learn how to do tasks such as shaking someone's hand while juggling a plate and glass, Warrner said.
Advertising major Scott Sieg attended an etiquette dinner in the fall of 2005 after a communications professor suggested he attend. "It wasn't overly detailed, but it was useful," Sieg said. "I felt more comfortable when I even just go to lunch with my dad and his office co-workers."
In addition to mixing and mingling, students who attend the dinner practice dining skills for a three course meal that includes a salad, an entr+â-¬e and dessert, Warrner said. Students learn that correctly passing food means you offer something to the person on your left first, serve yourself, and then pass the food to the right.
Students are also taught the differences between American and Continental cutting styles. While most students are familiar with the American version, Continental may be a bit more foreign because food is placed on a fork with the tines facing down.
Ordering food in a professional setting can be also be a complicated task. Warrner advises students to avoid messy foods such as club sandwiches and to avoid ordering the most expensive item on the menu.
Out of all of the etiquette rules, however, dining and conversation are the most important etiquette elements for students to be aware of, Warner said.
Eating and carrying on conversation may seem simple, but these two elements can be a challenge if a student is uncomfortable or preoccupied with basic etiquette skills, she said.
Being confident with etiquette lets people concentrate on conversation instead of about other things, Swingley said.
Aside from carrying on a good conversation, knowing how the table and each place setting are arranged factor into good etiquette. This includes everything from plates to glasses to silverware.
Even napkin placement can be tricky, Warrner said. The napkin for the meal is to the left of the salad fork, and when sitting down, it goes across the lap, she said. When leaving the table, it is set neatly set in the empty chair or to the left of the plate, Warner said. Once the meal is over, it is folded and placed it on the table to the right of the dinner plate.
When attending a formal dinner, it is smart to be aware of the cultural backgrounds of people attending the meal.
Swingley, for example, once dined with a group of Italians and said she was surprised that the salad fork was not where she was used to seeing it. It was the only time in her life she had seen a big fork, a little fork and a big fork, Swingley said. The dinner went pasta, salad and then the main meal. Italians eat their salads closer to the end of the meal because they believe it helps aid in digestion, Swingley said.
At the end of the etiquette dinner, students receive a brief lesson about dressing for a dinner or business function. According to the "Professional Image and Etiquette Handbook," a guide given to students who attend the dinner, women should wear tailored suits or dresses in basic, neutral colors such as black, navy, charcoal or olive. Men should wear suits in dark colors such as navy, black or charcoal. A long-sleeved, button-down dress shirt in white or light blue is also recommended, and it should be paired with a silk tie in a paisley, polka-dot or repetitive pattern.
Overall, being equipped with professional etiquette knowledge can prove to be useful in many situations, Warner said. Skills such as being a good conversationalist, knowing where to put your napkin and which way to pass the roles may seem simple, but the more students know, the better prepared they will be, she said.
Having professional etiquette knowledge will help students be prepared in any situation they might find themselves in, Warrner said.
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