People like lists about music. The world is ending in the Middle East and most Americans couldn't be slapped out of their pathetic apathy. But compile a top ten list - such as the top ten concept albums of all-time - and homicidal hippies (what, No Jefferson Airplane?), self-righteous hipster snobs listing semi-obscure bands no one has ever heard of to underline their self-importance (um...Neutral Milk Hotel?) and hormonal teenage girls (Dashboard Confessional, because they just like, totally understand me) will lunge at your throat like blood-thirtsy jackals.
Much like the nerdy record store clerks in "High Fidelity," there's a list-maker in all of us. We compile and catagorize our lives, from our greatest fears to the top ten reasons why "Boy Meets World" was, and is, the greatest show ever. Rollingstone.com seems to get the point. Perhaps in the interest of creating discussion - but probably in the crass pursuit of the revenue that the magazine gets when the Web site garners 10 million hits-a-day - the editors of Rolling Stone have begun crafting its own top ten lists on its Rock Daily section of its website. Then the floor is left open to the masses. Most responses range from the mundane to the flat out wrong - one reader suggested that Dark Side of the Moon was the greatest debut of all-time (it's their eighth). Then there are the hilarious and the hysterical.
Take this gem, which was posted in response to Rolling Stone's top 10 concept albums of all-time.
"I have something else to add. I already stood up for Green Day and 'American Idiot,' so it's Pink Floyd and The Wall's turn. Can't most people relate to it? Just the other night, I thought about building a wall in my own mind, but I had my reasons. It might just be easy for me because I'm an angst-ridden, teenage basketcase named Emilee."
Oh, Emilee.
Surpisingly, some of the responses on the message board displayed a decency not seen elsewhere.
Questionable tastes in music aside, Emilee's earnesty has to be respected. For the most part, the dialogue in these posts is measured and respectful. There are exceptions, but if political debate in this country were half as civil as the debate on the pages of Rolling Stone were, I wouldn't be afraid to speak my opinions in the company of those who disagree with me.
Don't get me wrong, some people should not be allowed to own iPod's. If I were ruler of the world for one day, owning an iPod would only be allowed after extensive CD collection and background checks and a five-day waiting period. Can't have any file-sharing heathens with My Chemical Romance and Green Day on their iPod. Of course some would cry that it's their right to own an iPod, but when I'm ruler of the world, there are no rights.
However, I digress.
Often, the words we choose when we debate things we care about are overshadowed by the venom and disrespectful tone we take with those who disagree with us. If the world were have as civil as some people are on this message board, then the state of public discourse in this country would be much better.
I am aware of the irony - or hypocrisy - of writing this last paragraph immediately following the paragraph that proceeds it. But this is my column, and I'll do what I want with it.
As for the greatest concept album of all-time?
Green Day's "American Idiot."
Just Kidding.
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