English has 42 sounds spelled 400 different ways, according to the American Literacy Council - and there you were thinking French was a pain in the ass. Lucky for us, a few people continue to fight the system that is the English language, hoping to bring us a more simplified way of spelling.
Observe, courtesy The Associated Press.
"Propoenents of simpler speling noet that a smatering of aulterd spelingz hav maed th leep into evrydae ues."
Proof: "Say," "they" and "weigh" rhyme. "Bomb," "comb" and "tomb" do not.
Stoopid phonetics.
Proponents of simplified spelling say children would learn English faster and with less confusion. Opponents say they're simply nutz.
The Simplified Spelling Board started in 1908. Andrew Carnegie helped found the board to "promote a retooling of written English," an Associated Press story said this week.
"There are 3,500 words in English that contain exceptions to the spelling 'rules'. And some of the rules have hundreds of exceptions," the SSB's site said.
Just remember: I before E except after ... ah, screw it.
Believe it or not, there's some government involvement here. No, not President George W. Bush - although he might benefit from such language tweaks.
During his tenure as president, Theodore Roosevelt attempted to get the U.S. government to use simpler spellings for 300 words. Congress blocked the attempt, according to the AP.
Likewise, The Chicago Tribune tried the so-called easier spelling in its newsprint until 1975.
Languages like German or Spanish use phonetically spelled words, allowing children to learn spelling rules in week instead of months or years, Alan Mole, president of the ALC, told the AP.
In Bush's case, it's apparently a lifetime of learning.
But hay - no one iz purfect.
Some education experts say the altering of our language might put children at a disadvantage.
Fair point. Many of the words in our language derive meaning from prefixes, suffixes and roots, education professor Donald Bear told the AP.
While the idea seems absurd - Think: metric system conversion - the vowels and constants of shorthand and simplified spelling continue to weave their way into our modern society.
For further bastardization of the language, we turn to text messaging.
"CU 2nite."
"L8tr."
"nm, u?"
"Holla back gurl."
OK, that last one is a stretch
Let's face it, the language is bound to change and evolve with the times. Technology certainly plays a big role in how we communicate.
In Carnegie's time, the telegraph was a big-ticket item. (See: Titanic, 1912.) We all use shorthand in our daily lives, from little notes to allowing Microsoft Word to fix our horrid spelling errors. (See: Laziness.)
That said, it stands to reason that cell phones and instant messages are coincidentally pushing the simplified spelling agenda. Although it's not really altering the language the same, Mole told the AP that some (informal) progress is happening to end "illogical spelling" - with words like "through" written as "thru" and "night" as "nite" in writing.
Hm ... Drive-thru? Late nite?
Commercialization might be simplified spelling's largest advocate.
Whether the simpler writing style will degrade or benefit the English language in the long run is anyone's guess. Much like the metric system failure, it's formally mixing the two systems that would prove most hazardous.
Just Imagine that crossword puzzle.
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