SIDEWALK CHALK: Celebrity baby hype not newsworthy

I don't know about you all, but I'm over this celebrity baby hype.

I'm serious. I don't care if TomKat's baby Suri hasn't been spotted in 63 days (People Magazine filled me in on that one while on my lunch break at work), I don't care that magazines are feuding and suing each other over who gets to publish the first Brangelina baby pictures, and I don't understand how anyone else cares either.

And as for Britney Spears - I'm really starting to feel sorry for the girl. It's fun to hate her, but now it's just getting insane. And sure, she didn't help herself in her Matt Lauer interview. Her one opportunity to redeem herself to people -particularly parents who watch Dateline -ยก- went right out the window the moment the camera focused on her. It looked like she'd hired Courtney Love's stylist. I'm sure it's hard for her being a first time mom with the whole world watching, and I know that if I was in her shoes, I'd probably lose my mind too. Would I advise her that wearing heels while toting a toddler in one arm and a glass in the other is a bad idea? Yes, I would. But she learned her lesson, hopefully. Of course, driving with the baby on her lap was bad, too, but people - let's not harp on her for the car seat facing the wrong way because 1) the kid found its way into the car seat this time and 2) half of people with kids don't know which way to put the car seat in. Those people just aren't famous enough to be followed and photographed while driving on the interstate.

But here's something I want someone to explain to me: How is it that the birth of Shiloh Nouvel is worthy of a headline bigger than the headlines of what's coming out of Iraq? How is it that this baby, who's being born in Namibia because her parents could pay off a poor nation to protect them from the paparazzi, is more important than actual news that is affecting lives?

I will admit that there is quite the baby boom going around Hollywood at the moment, but I don't think it's anything for the media to get themselves in a tizzy over. People procreate all the time. Our nation's population is about to hit 300 million sometime in the fall because people have kids.

I've always joked about wanting to be famous. Of course, when I say I'm joking, I'm actually being serious, but as I watch these celebrities get bombarded with nosy photographers who hide in shrubs, I'm starting to rethink this idea of fame. Livid wouldn't even begin to describe my attitude if someone jumped out of a bush at my child's school to take a picture. If you want to follow the famous parents, then do so, but is it really necessary to photograph the children who don't really do anything? I don't think so.

They're babies. They're babies of beautiful people, and sometimes, if we're really stretching to find something newsworthy about them, they're given abnormal names (i.e. Apple, Moses, and Banjo to name a few). Were you all shocked that Shiloh Nouvel was adorable? Of course you weren't! Her parents are too gorgeous for her to come out otherwise. What would've been newsworthy is if the baby would have been ugly - which we all knew was pretty much impossible.


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