Flowers? Check.
Chocolates? Check.
Overbearing schmaltziness in advertisements, store sales and decorations? Super check.
Must be time for Valentine's Day.
For some, tonight will be spent boycotting the epitome of contrived romance at home. Others will revel in the possibilities of new love by going on a date, and still others will celebrate an ongoing relationship with their special someones. Doors will be held, sweet nothings will be whispered, questions will be popped - but things don't always play out as innocently as they do in fairy tales.
It might seem to be a rough contrast to the ethereal fantasy of Valentine's Day, but this week is as good as any other for Ball State University to have its Sexual Assault Awareness Week. No celebration of love should go without an acknowledgement of the fact that things can go wrong - and people should know what to do just in case.
The many compelling events presented during the week are listed on the Counseling Center's Web site.
One misconception that should immediately be addressed is that sexual assault is only a women's issue. In reality, anyone can be the victim of sexual assault - whether male, female, gay, straight or any other demographic.
The most commonly publicized cases of sexual assault usually involve women being assaulted by men, but this is absolutely not always the case. Thus, it is important to know what sexual assault is and what to do if and when it happens.
Definitions of rape and sexual assault vary from state to state, but in general, rape is considered to be forced intercourse by psychological coercion or physical force. Penetration can be vaginal, anal or oral and includes penetration by foreign objects. Sexual assault, however, is a wider category of violence, from completed attacks to verbal threats. What's defining is the fact that the contact between victim and offender is unwanted.
According to the Web site of the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network, approximately 80 percent of victims of rapes reported in 2004 were younger than 30 years old.
From the same crime report, it was estimated that 10 percent of all victims of reported rapes and sexual assaults were men. Although these numbers might convince some that the problem is significant, remember that sexual assault is one of the most consistently under-reported crimes in the United States, making it difficult to estimate the actual incidence of such crimes.
To help prevent sexual assault, make sure to never leave your drink unattended at parties and gatherings. Also, it is always preferable to travel in groups instead of alone, especially when going home. Being aware of your surroundings is also critical, as is not allowing yourself to be isolated with individuals you don't know or trust.
Most importantly, think about the level of intimacy you want in a relationship, and very clearly communicate that to potential partners. After all, a majority of rapes are committed by someone the victim knew beforehand.
In the event of a rape or sexual assault, get to a safe place away from the attacker as soon as possible. Seek medical attention immediately, and report the crime to police.
Call the National Sexual Assault Hotline (1-800-656-HOPE), which is available 24 hours a day, for support and important information.
And please remember that it isn't the victim's fault.
My sincerest wish is for everyone to spend Valentine's Day doing something that makes each of them happy, and that nothing will sully this evening.
But it's always wise to be prepared.
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