I'll do my best to keep this short and sweet - I know last night was probably rough on a lot of people.
Chances are, unless you belong to the slim fraction of the population out there who has been in a relationship for less than three months, you probably spent the night doing one of two things:
You might have been wasting your money on clich+â-¬d, pink, perishable pieces of crap in a hollow and obligatory effort to claw your way back onto the good side of your significant other for long enough to reap any meager benefits that could stem from creating a false sense of passion before that cold spark inevitably fizzles out again, and it's back to fighting over who gets the remote control.
Or you might have been plunging into the deepest abyss of manic despair that a bottle of booze or a tub of H+â-ñagen Dazs can deliver while an endless stream of valentine-oriented television shows mock you into realizing just how meaningless it is to have sole command over the remote control when every channel you turn to harbors yet another sobering reminder you are going to die alone.
But don't let all that get to you! Even if no one loves you for who you are except your family - which doesn't really count, by the way, because your family has to love you - you still don't have to be miserable on Valentine's Day if you don't let yourself. A lot of negative thoughts about Valentine's Day simply boil down to people's attitudes.
For example, the other day, I happened to overhear a conversation while I was eavesdropping in the Atrium. Two girls were talking and one said to the other: "I hate Valentine's Day. I think it should just stop being a holiday."
Let's be realistic. This is an internationally recognized holiday. It's not like being a father - you can't just up and stop.
And what about all of the positive aspects of Valentine's Day? Whatever you did last night, whether you were brooding over being forced to celebrate your dead-end relationship or just looking at yourself in the mirror and pretending someone else was hanging out with you, you were probably focusing on yourself rather than the uniqueness of the day.
There are a lot of little things that make Valentine's Day special. Let's start with its history. As we all know, Valentine's Day was named after Saint Valentine, the patron saint of greeting cards - who, according to legend, started the holiday on when he gave Pope John Paul George a blue cardboard rabbit with a caption that read, and I quote, "You're Some-Bunny Special."
He was martyred soon after - but not before the craze caught on.
And after a while, the mere interchange of thoughtless, dreadfully ill-conceived puns was just the tip of the iceberg, evolving slowly into the inclusion of perhaps the best part of Valentine's Day: candy.
Now, you might not like the holiday. That's fine. But it has long been my philosophy never to take away any day that children are allowed to eat candy in school.
Remember that? The paper mailbox just hung off your desk while you waited patiently to completely ignore what any of the valentines said. You knew reading them just slowed things down - put them in a pile for mom, and go for the Red Hots!
And let's not forget the girl who brought cupcakes: She would bring cupcakes for the whole class, then she was everyone's best friend for the next two weeks.
So, if you're still feeling down from yesterday, just remember you've got 364 days to prepare for next Valentine's Day. If you haven't gotten it together by then, do what the rest of us do and go through the cheesy motions ... for the children.
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