Losing in the playoffs - better yet, choking in the playoffs - for what seems like the past decade is really beginning to take its toll on this demoralized Colts fan.
"Wait until next year" is becoming a tired expression that won't hold up unless there are shake-ups in the offseason.
Something still seems to be missing, and it may not be clear to most fans. I'm not talking about better plays or players, because they clearly have an abundance of those.
No, this is an important intangible the Colts must have. It's an intangible factor that Colts leader Peyton Manning is in need of having - a manly intangible currently possessed by both Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger and Denver Broncos quarterback Jake Plummer.
My theory is that Manning is lacking grizzly, masculine, woman-tickling facial hair.
I call it the Jake Plummer Beard Theory.
See, the baby-bottom-smooth 2004 version of Plummer led his team to a decent 10-6 record - which isn't too shabby - but he was inefficient that season, throwing 20 interceptions.
The Bigfoot-esque, grizzly 2005 version of Plummer, despite losing Sunday to a slightly less manly beard, was able to lead his team to a 13-3 record and only threw seven interceptions.
Now, I know what you're mulling over: Manning isn't solely to blame. It took a team effort to self-destruct in the playoffs as much as the Colts have this many seasons in a row.
But Manning is the leader, and the leader has to make sacrifices for the good of the team. Although I don't see growing a beard as a sacrifice, Manning must grow one.
If he can't grow one, then some hair-growing products must come into play. He'll become the Six Million Dollar Quarterback, because we do have the technology to rebuild him - or in this case, rebeard him.
Grow a beard, Manning. You've poured your heart out on the field and spent countless hours studying game tape to improve your chances of beating the opposition. Now, there's only one thing left to do.
The Steelers' linebacker and team idiot Joey Porter said in the week leading up to the game that the Colts played a smart type of football, instead of just playing it like it was meant to be - hard-hitting and with a lack of intelligence.
That's a clear stab at the manliness of the Colts, but Porter is right for the time being. The Steelers hit harder, rushed faster and tackled meaner than we did. Why?
They were lead by a bearded Roethlisberger, whereas the Colts had no beard at the helm.
Don't think the beard theory holds up? Well, take a grizzled look at another one of last week's games, the Chicago Bears against the Carolina Panthers.
The Bears were beaten by the Panthers in the NFC Divisional playoff game, 21-29, and it's all for one reason: The Bears started clean-shaven Rex Grossman at quarterback, when they should've started long-bearded Kyle Orton, who played all season for the injured Grossman.
Although it appears to hold up in real life, this theory is still just that - a theory. However, Manning should man up - come on, the word is in his name - and grow a beard for the 2006 season to test the theory, because who knows what could happen?
There's only one thing we can be sure about, though: Beard equals manliness, and unless Manning grows one, the Colts can expect more defeats in the playoffs for years to come.
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