There is an unsettling trend going on in the industry of cable television. Before you can even question me: Yes, it can be and is even more disturbing than Lindsey Lohan being too skinny ... although that's not to say I don't find the self-imposed malnourishment of a poppy teen diva important enough to be explored on the front pages of several thousand magazines whenever I check out of a grocery store. Don't put words in my mouth.
I'm just saying, the trend I've noticed could possibly affect you more than the few seconds you find yourself cringing at a picture of some starlette's protruding spinal column while you're trying to buy baby back ribs at Wal-Mart. So, why is my issue being swept under the rug for pot-shots of twiggy teenagers? Well, I guess corporately fueled guerilla mind propaganda just doesn't sell magazines.
You heard me. It's starting out small, but it's happening.
A select few television stations have recently decided to adopt one of the timeless marketing strategies from another medium and apply it to cable TV. The strategy is called "overplaying." For decades, radio stations have successfully used this technique both to increase album sales with crappy songs by crappy artists and to contribute to the systematic decline of listenable radio.
The philosophy behind overplaying is simple: Get it stuck in the general public's head, and the general public will think it's catchy. Too simple? Well, say what you want, but it is the only philosophy out there to explain why anyone knows the words to "Hollaback Girl." Admit it, the first time you heard that song you thought it was a third-grader rapping Sesame Street songs over a recording of asthmatic humpback whales - don't act like I'm the only one who thought so. But somewhere between the first and 500th listens, the radio wins, and you find yourself singing along.
Unfortunately, television is starting to work the same way. Instead of coming up with original programming that earns its ratings by being good enough to watch once a week, a lot of cable stations have opted to fill time slots with continuous reruns of shows that are only a few weeks old. As is usually the case when the bar gets lowered in the entertainment industry, MTV pioneered the crossover in an attempt to dumb down its audience to a point where they could actually relate to the idiots the station casts for such shows as "The Real World" and "The Osbournes." The problem has escalated, however, and now a lot of other networks are showing symptoms of the disease.
Most recently, VH1 has decided to incessantly run "Rock School," a show in which Gene Simmons - better known as "the one with the tongue" from the band Kiss - tries to convince the student body of a prestigious English boarding school that he is not clinging to the scraps of his washed-up celebrity status by wearing a lot of black and never taking off his sunglasses. Unfortunately, most of the kids saw him guest-judging "American Idol" last year, and they aren't buying it - no matter how many times he slops through "God Gave Rock 'n' Roll To You" during chapel.
Even Comedy Central has resorted to overplaying "Mind of Mencia" in a desperate attempt to fill the void Dave Chappelle left behind. Sure, the show has its high points, but centering the comedic premise of a show around how many times you can squeeze the word "beaner" into half an hour is no substitute for "Chappelle's Show."
The point is, if networks focused more on finding better programming, they wouldn't have to try as hard to get me to like their shows as radio stations do to get me to like the latest Lindsay Lohan tune.
And have you seen her recently? She's so skinny!
Write to Lance at
lancealotv@yahoo.com
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