In theatre review: "The Amityville Horror"
C
In the trailer for "The Amityville Horror," the best name-dropping they could do was "from producer Michael Bay..." Yeah -- sell it on the sterling record of the auteur behind "Armageddon" and "Pearl Harbor." That brilliant ad-exec must have gotten a promotion.
"The Amityville Horror" is an update of the popular 1979 film of the same name that spawned two theatrical sequels -- one in 3-D! -- and four direct-to-video retreads. And it's "based on a true story!" If you buy that, I've got a bell tower in the middle of campus to sell you. More on this later.
With that kind of pedigree -- as well as a no-name cast and director -- it becomes necessary to remember the most important rule in how to survive a horror movie: Lower the expectations as far as possible.
Upon completing that crucial step it becomes possible to actually enjoy oneself; in this case the movie proves surprisingly tolerable.
Enough imitations and parodies make the plot as familiar and predictable as a new Eminem record: Family discovers amazing Long Island house at a shockingly low price. The catch: the previous family was murdered when one of them went nuts -- allegedly possessed by spirits. "People kill people, houses don't kill people," says George Lutz (Ryan Reynolds aka Van Wilder, apparently hired primarily for how he looks shirtless.)
Loads of crazy, disturbing stuff happens but the family illogically stays in the house. Much of it is actually pretty creepy and well done. A few scares fail and bring laughter instead of terror but enough of it works. Dialogue, acting, and characters are fairly mundane, though inoffensive -- unlike George Lucas' last film, for example.
All in all, it's worth a trip to the dollar theater once it arrives there.
Oh, and that "true story"? Don't be an idiot. The Urban Legends Reference Page lets the hot air out of that one: http://www.snopes.com/horrors/ghosts/amityville.asp.
"Scrabble doc wildly entertaining"
New DVD review: "Word Wars"
Film: A-
DVD: B-
The best documentaries are those that peer into hidden places and reveal unique individuals. In "Word Wars" cameras peer into the strangely compelling universe of competitive, tournament Scrabble and focuses on four of the most talented, eccentric participants -- Joe Edley, Marlon Hill, "G.I." Joel Sherman, and Matt Graham.
These guys are hardcore. Three of them live barely above poverty, making money almost solely from Scrabble tournaments. Edley is the only one with anything resembling a normal life. Having won three tournaments, he has a family and a job and uses Zen and Tai Chi to aid him in his game.
Sherman, whose nickname "G.I." refers to his severe gastrointestinal problems -- he's constantly chugging Maalox -- has the worst social skills. Graham makes extra money on the side as a mediocre stand-up comic and takes all kinds of "brain pills" to help him.
Hill is by far the most entertaining and badass of the lot. (Yes, it's possible for a pro-Scrabble player to be a badass.) He speaks in profanity-laced Ebonics, smokes weed, and describes himself as a "pre-Mecca Malcolm playing Scrabble" with aspirations to escape "Western Europe" (the US) and relocate in Africa.
The doc follows the four friends and rivals over nine months of competitions until they reach the national tournament with a prize of $25,000 and an appearance on the Today Show.
This is a must-see, highly entertaining doc. Don't miss it.
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