When I was a kid, toys were simple. My toy box consisted of a few old board games, a collection of stuffed animals and a few puzzles with missing pieces.
It's been a while since I've played with toys or even peeked into that old toy box. But it still brings a smile to my face, even at 20 years old, to browse through the toy aisle. I'm still a kid at heart, I suppose.
It was like any ordinary trip to Wal-Mart, I was picking up a few necessary items before making way toward the toy section. I was heading toward the check out lines when something caught my eye.
A Care Bear with a headset stood on the shelf, smiling at me, and I walked closer to it. The expression on its face was almost as welcoming as the "squeeze me" sticker on its hand. Nothing could have braced me for what was about to come out of that little bear's speaker.
"Let's get physical, physical..."
Was that ever disturbing! I mean, come on! It's a Care Bear!
Apparently the creators of the new work-out Care Bear thought the new toy will help kids to be active and stay fit. I didn't press the hand again with the fear that the next song would be "Kanye's Workout Plan" or something to that effect.
How can children be so censored when it comes to television, video games and literature, but they can walk around chanting the perverse lyrics of the awesomely bad '80s jam "Let's Get Physical"?
Maybe I'm old fashioned, but that's not something that would have flown well in my house.
The intention is good because there really should be more toys for children that promote physical wellness. However, there are much better ways to go about it than taking an old toy and filling it with a speaker that spews out such filth. It might as well be singing "Sex me up." Who wouldn't want to be the parent whose kid is belting out those lyrics in the grocery store?
Kids might not realize what it is they're singing, but that doesn't make it OK. Creators of children's toys should know better. They're developing a whole new line of toys that shouldn't ever make it onto the shelves.
Other new toys in the line include "Pregnant at Prom" Barbie and "Pimp My Ride" Hot Wheels set. Or, the latest must-have, "Tickle-Me Michael Jackson." The Cabbage Patch Crack Babies are expected to have a great turnout; some retailers are even anticipating fist-fights for the undersized dolls during the holidays.
Now instead of "Girl Talk: Dateline" young preteens can enjoy "Call for a good time."
Bottom line: It's wrong! Kids don't need to be singing words like "Let me hear your body talk." It's appalling. Toy distributors leapt at the chance to make money, regardless of which lines they crossed.
If stores are willing to sell Care Bears ready to "get physical," what's keeping them from marketing "Let's talk about sex" Teddy Ruxpin.
Marketing to kids might seem effective, but what is it proving? If kids need to get into shape, they should be kids and go play outside. Put away the Care Bear with its head in the gutter and encourage kids to go to the park!
The things in my toy box might have torn or broken, but they never sang profanity to me. Maybe that's because toys like the singing Care Bears don't belong in children's toy boxes.
Write to Whitney at
wlhoyt@gmail.com
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