Isn't it funny how your entire view of someone can change so quickly? It struck me the other day while listening to the lyrics of an Amanda Marshall song called "Everybody's got a story." It's about how people pass judgment too quickly without seeing the whole picture.
Lets be honest, we've all done it. I've done it. We're all guilty of looking at people and seeing nothing but appearances.
The song really spoke to me that day, because the words are so true, especially when she makes reference to the cab driver with a Ph.D. One part that is really sad is when she sings about a girl who gets made fun of for being so quiet and sad at school. The kids make fun of her, but they don't know that she's mourning the loss of her mother. People make fun of each other for whatever reasons they can find, even if it means overlooking the reasons.
A few weeks ago, a girl in one of my classes said something that really offended me. I know it wasn't a personal attack nor did she intend to hurt my feelings. However, I labeled her as the mean girl that hurt my feelings, and that's all she was to me.
From then on, I would see her and just think about her rude comments and how close-minded I thought she was. I was recently informed she is having a really hard time in her life right now. Her parents are divorcing, and she's recovering from a recent split with a long time boyfriend.
Why is it that we label people so hastily? We're so quick to judge and so quick to hate, but we disregard any underlying circumstances. We don't think, and we don't give anyone the benefit of the doubt.
Maybe what she said offended me, but I didn't take into consideration that she was stressed or angry at the world for all the things that aren't going her way. We've all had bad days, we've all lashed out at each other, and we've all said things we didn't mean. None of that mattered to me, I just heard her mean words and placed her into a category. I didn't give her a chance before I judged her. Our opinions were drastically different, and rather than try to see things from her point of view, I saw her as an outsider, an enemy. She was just one more friend I would never have.
Stereotypes are all too common, and they only generate hate. People are classified for the clothes they wear, the music they listen to, the way they wear their hair and the things they say.
It's sad, really, that people are so willing to sacrifice friendships and relationships because of what's only on the outside. I was so angry at myself for being so judgmental because there's really no excuse for it.
Today I saw that girl, and she smiled at me. I don't know why, really, because there's always been quite a bit of unspoken tension between the two of us. I smiled back, because I think we both knew that we were quick to judge one another. She probably won't ever be someone I can tell my deep secrets to or someone I could call at 3 in the morning. She probably won't even be the kind of friend I hang out with on weekends. But just knowing that she and I have an understanding is enough for me.
In order to learn acceptance, we have to teach ourselves how to appreciate our differences. And, that song that has come to mean so much to me, said it best I think, "Everybody's got a story that could break your heart."
Write to Whitney at
wlhoyt@gmail.com
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