Apparently, fear is not a factor for you.
But synergy is!
The newest corporate clusterfunk on the block, NBC Universal, has announced plans to add "Fear Factor Live" to its twin theme parks in the United States.
The show is planned to be audience-participation based with many of the same ideas that the NBC program uses, sans weird bugs, fast moving semitrailers and a smart-assed and occasionally annoying Joe Rogan. Company officials are tight-lipped on what prizes or rewards might await contestants, as well as what exactly they might face to earn them. The stage show is set to begin this summer at the company's Universal Studios theme parks in Orlando, Fla., and Hollywood.
Of course, if you ask me, just walking around Hollywood/Los Angeles is enough to be declared a stunt show. Nonetheless, all of this conversation leads us to one important point:
Why in the hell do we still care?
Just when we thought it was ending, reality television comes back with a vengeance -- and a live amphitheater audience. All we need now is for MTV to jump on the bandwagon, and the rest are sure to follow. Just imagine the possibilities:
Yes, it's "The Real 'Real World!'" Enjoy the thrill of a lifetime as you and five other predetermined contestants cram into a small, enclosed space with unlimited alcohol. Spend time to get to know your new friends: a gay guy, a "princess" girl, a large, black male, a racist and a Southern Baptist. Sleep with them all, but in the end, only one can be your friend. All in front of a live audience instead of cameras!
Fox could bank big on its landmark reality earful "American Idol." What could be better than watching the show when you can... be the show? It's "American Idol: LIVE," hosted by a robotic version of Ryan Seacrest which will be, to most 17-year-old girls, as attractive as the real thing. For everyone else, who will notice the difference? That, and "Simon Cowell: The Ride" are really lacking in appeal to me.
CBS could use its flagship show "Survivor," but that's too expected. Instead, visit "Dan Rather's 'The CBS Experience.'" Come along for an hour of makeshift reporting, document forging and major controversy that only CBS and its crack team of journalists can bring you. Try your hand at the signature forging competition and see if you can win prizes with "Fire Me: the Memory Game." Sorry kids, this show's rated "R" for the brief and unexpected appearance of at least one audience member's nipple.
For the family-friendly viewers of CBS, there's always "The Amusement Race," a rip-off of the fast-paced reality "The Amazing Race." Watch and cheer as two families, both with a mother, father, 16-year-old brat, 9-year-old whiner and 3-year-old twins, compete to see who can successfully make it around the given amusement park with the fewest arguments.
Back over at Universal, we could see a debut appearance of "Queer Eye for the Person-sitting-in-row-12-seat-14." Watch as an awkwardly horrible imitation of the Fab 5 attempts to makeover random audience members for the remainder of their stays at the park. (Sure to be a hit at the Hollywood location.) This, while playing that bubbly, somewhat-catchy and utterly annoying theme song non-stop in the background. What is the coincidental twist? When everyone finds out the audience member is... actually gay!
(Not that there's anything wrong with that.)
With enough poker reality shows to pay for a casino, any network could have their whack with a ride or stage show. "Hold 'em!" will surely be a treat for any vacationing family looking to train the young on the finer points of betting, folding and mean "poker faces." What is one thing this, and the other attractions for that matter, will be horrible at?
Getting people to stay.
Write to Dave at
heydave@bewilderedsociety.com
visit http://www.bewilderedsociety.com
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