Gerry: As I drag my Jewish feet around this time of year, I see all sorts of Christmas imagery, and wonder what this holiday is really about. Many people say Christmas has been commercialized, but since I'm not an expert on religions after 1 B.C., I'll turn this over to my Christian counterpart.
Aleshia: Being a gentile, I have always taken to the holiday season with the gusto and vigor that might characterize a colony of termites if they were released in a pencil factory. It's not so much that I want to chew holes into the holiday season; it's that the season is everywhere, and I can't help but be geeked. Even before Halloween, the neighbors put the lights up, Christmas wrap arrives in stores, and something in the air rings with the true spirit of the holiday season: credit card debt.
But seriously, since moving away from my hometown, I have been increasingly exposed to diversity and increasingly aware of the misrepresentation of ethnic holidays. I rarely see obnoxious sweater vests with menorahs on them or the mass marketing of festive yarmulkes, and I am appalled by the sheer lack of "The Dreidel Song" on the holiday airwaves.
Gerry: There are several reasons Hanukkah (see also: Chanukkah, Hanukah, Chanukah, etc.) doesn't generate the amount of attention Christmas does. First of all, Hanukkah songs are terrible. Sit down and listen to one. Hanukkah melodies sound like they were written by the It's a Small World After All Band.
In reality, Hanukkah just isn't really a major holiday. Although, it fits the basic theme of every Jewish holiday -- bad guys tried to kill us, they failed, let's eat -- the holiday of eight crazy nights has been trumpeted up into a spectacle because we are jealous of Christmas and we too, desire presents to be returned the next day.
Aleshia: Still, the lack of Hanukkah merchandise remains a mystery. While it is true, according to the 2001 U.S. Census, that only 0.3 percent of Hoosiers and 2.2 percent of Americans are Jewish, it seems unfair to commercially alienate and disregard them. I find it very sad, indeed, that the only solace the Chosen People have is to turn a Christmas tree cake upside-down and pretend it is a dreidel.
Gerry: And how come gentiles get Santa Claus while the Jewish holiday mascot is Adam Sandler? What's the deal with Santa, anyway? Do little kids really think that he is flying the globe in a sleigh powered by reindeer? PETA would be all over Santa's fat butt if this were the case.
Santa and I had a run-in back when I was a wee lad. My parents took me to the zoo, or some other family-friendly establishment, and I sat on ol' Saint Nick's lap. Upon asking me what I wanted for Christmas, I belted out loud for all to hear, "I'm Jewish! I don't celebrate Christmas!" Santa then booted me off his lap with the vigor he normally reserves for canning lazy elves.
Aleshia: The important thing to remember, though, is that the holiday season is built upon a foundation of peace and goodwill. The glitz and glamour -- or lack thereof -- amounts to very little compared to the joy of home, of family, of togetherness.
Gerry: Merry Christmas.
Aleshia: Happy Hanukkah.
Write to Gerry at
gappel@bsu.edu
Write to Aleshia at
aleshiathegenius@gmail.com
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