You probably remember Thanksgiving as a kid.
Your only responsibility was to show up, eat your vegetables (or else no pumpkin pie for you!) and not to wake dad up when he fell asleep watching football. You had no homework during the break, and had yet to hear those dreaded words "research paper." After dinner, you were probably excused to go outside and run off those five pounds of turkey and stuffing you'd just eaten, and told to not come back till mom and dad, grandpa and grandma were done cleaning up. You were allowed to watch TV most of the day and probably limited your conversations with relatives to greetings and answering a few quick questions about school. You probably thought that was about as good as it got.
I, too, remember those days, although they are fading further and further into the rearview mirror. Even those happy-go-lucky holidays during high school, when I thought that a half-page paper and ten pages of reading was a lot of work, are fading into the distance. Now it's multiple research papers, hundreds of pages of reading and tests looming on the horizon that occupy my mind during the Thanksgiving holiday.
Beyond school, Thanksgiving holds even more worries for me now. Being engaged presents an entirely new set of challenges. Whose family do we spend Thanksgiving day with? Who can we ask to move the get-together to Friday? If that's not possible, can we make it to both families' dinners (a prospect my stomach relishes) or do we have to decide to go every other year to visit our families? And when we finally decide where to go, what are we going to be expected to do to help out?
It turns out that Thanksgiving is not a day of relaxation after all. It turns out, the older I get, the more hectic the holidays become and the more responsibility I find myself with. It only gets tougher the older I get. Next year, Alissa and I will be married, and at the very least we'll have to cook a few items to bring to the family get-togethers. We might even have to play hosts to our relatives, a task to shake the courage of the bravest soul.
Yet I look around now during the holidays, and I see that all of this responsibility, all of these tasks I have to do, give me a greater appreciation for Thanksgiving. When I was a child, it was enjoyable to do nothing, but I always felt the grown-ups were hiding something from me. It was true that they were working harder than I was, but they also seemed to enjoy the day more. I didn't know why, just as I didn't understand most of the conversations they had while I watched cartoons.
Now I know. It's those shared tasks, the fact that we all have responsibilities that require us to work day after day, and the worries we carry through life, that make Thanksgiving so enjoyable.
For one day, we can all come together, sigh a full, contented sigh and realize that we're just like everyone around us. After that, even the busiest days don't seem so overwhelming anymore.
So the next time my mom asks me to help her cook or do the holiday dishes, I won't roll my eyes and wish for the old days. Instead, I'll smile and be thankful I finally understand why this day is so special.
Write to Tim at tabirkel@bsu.edu
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