Until very recently, I was growing more and more disappointedevery day with the human condition. Ironic, isn't it, that we livein a time of endless courtesies, conveniences and customer service,but people can still take time out of their days to flip theirfellow man the bird in traffic and be rude to the waiter?
Are people decent simply because it's company policy? Does noone do anything without a reward? And is the waiter foreverdestined to sit at home watching "Cheers" reruns and eat frostingstraight from the can with tortilla chips seasoned only by the saltof his tears?
Indeed, times looked bleak. But one man had the power to changemy mind. His name? Captain Friday.
From the recesses of the unknown he emerges every Friday,wearing goggles and a red cape. I know not from where he comes, oreven if Captain Friday is his real name. Nevertheless, he appearslike clockwork every week, not for a paycheck, but just because hecan.
It was only a matter of time, really. Metropolis has Superman.Gotham City has Batman. Thebes had Hercules. The children of theworld have Santa Claus. It's only fair that Muncie, too, shouldhave a hero, and what better man to fill the position than one whojets around Ball State's campus on the Scooter of Truth spreading,nay, PROCLAIMING the good news: Friday is here.
What better news is there? Friday, named after the Norsegoddess, Frigg, the goddess of love, represents a virtuallyunlimited number of wonderful things: The approaching weekend.Casual dress day. A very good song by The Cure. Captain Friday isthe personification of these things, of taking a swan dive into therich nectar of life.
But lurking in the shadows is Pizza Day's dark side: Friday the13th. Fear of the number 13 is said to date back to the beginningsof counting. Since primitive folk had only 10 fingers and two feetto represent units, the number 13 was an abstract and unreachablemystery, thus the basis for superstition. Now add the theory thatAdam and Eve were banished from the Garden of Eden, the great floodin Genesis began, and Rome's execution day were all on Friday, andyou get a full-blown frenzy of irrational fear that, according toDr. Donald Dossey, a psychotherapist specializing in the treatmentof phobias, affects as many as 21 million Americans.
It could be that Captain Friday is trying to dispel the mythsthat slander his good name, but whatever his purpose, CaptainFriday is not just a hero; he is an idealistic icon.
Does Captain Friday lose his cool when he gets a rookie cashierat Wal-Mart? Of course he doesn't. Would Captain Friday steal aparking space when another driver has clearly claimed the space byusing his or her turn signal? No! And it's not just because hedoesn't have a car.
Of everything Captain Friday represents, with his Scooter ofTruth and secret identity, one thing is certain: Above all else,Captain Friday represents hope. Hope of new beginnings, hope of aclean slate, hope of love, hope of comfort and, most importantly,the certainty that we will not be beheaded.
Write to Aleshia ataleshiathegenius@gmail.com
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