WHAT SMELLS FISHY?
Less of a Big Fish, More of a Flounder
Big Fish (2003) - "Big Fish" is archetypal of Tim Burton's weaker films. It is very creative, but inconsistent. It is interestingly cast but not well-cast. It shows deliberation and intention but lacks a soul. It is still an entertaining movie.
The film tells two sides of a story, so to speak. On one front we see how Will Bloom's (Billy Cruddup) father, Ed Bloom, is about to pass away. Will must come to terms with his poor father-son relationship before it is too late. This plot line is inter-cut with the tall tales of his father's life as a young man.
The difference between the "real world" and Ed Bloom's "fantasy world" in the film is never sharp enough to toy with our emotions. "Big Fish" feels like a car engine that craps-out just before it roars to life... over and over again. Absent from this film is the overwhelming sense of magic that Burton is known for delivering time after time.
Still, "Big Fish" isn't terrible. It just isn't up to par with what we have come to expect from the mind of Tim Burton.
BUFFY: PART DUEX
Underworld is Under-Rated
Underworld (2003) - In "Underworld", Kate Beckinsale plays Selene, a vampire street warrior in a war against the werewolves. When Selene falls in love with one of the werewolves, she begins to unravel a plot that could mean the end for her and her kind.
At times "Underworld" comes off as some geek's fanboy fantasy. It also lacks a sense of humor; not once does a single character laugh. To boot, the dialogue is ripped straight from a WB series. The last thing we need is more encouragement for vampire live-action role players.
Despite all of that, the movie is way better than you'd expect. What the film lacks in dialogue it makes up for in plot structure. The plot is very clearly thought out and rather clever at that. The first half hour is rough sledding, but by the end of the movie I was ready for more.
WHY SEAN CONNERY? WHY!
League of Ex-snore-dinary Gentlemen
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003) - I won't lie, I enjoyed this movie. However, I only enjoyed it because of my sentimental attachment to the original comic book. To all others unfamiliar with the comic, stay away.
The film's premise is a simple one: Classic literary figures such as Alan Quartermain (King Solomon's Mines), Captain Nemo (20,000 Leagues Under the Sea) and others are called upon to serve as the world's original "super-hero" team.
The movie's script was written by James Robinson, a sloppy indie-filmmaker whose only other credit is the entirely unwatchable "Comic Book Villains" (Family Video has a copy if you're into self-mutilation and torture). The dialogue is full of cheesy one-liners and god-awful puns. It is so bad that even a seasoned actor like Sean Connery can't make the language sound good.
If you have a general sense of self-respect and dignity for your own intelligence, this movie may not be for you.
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