Your parents are always happy with you, even if you don't see them.
Fall Break is almost here, and thousands of students have planned a stress-free four-day weekend back home under the roofs of their parents. For some of these students, this might be their first visit home since the school year started.
For freshmen, this might be a more-alienating experience than what they originally imagined. Let me explain.
On a car ride home from a family dinner, it hit me that things have changed since my freshman year. My sense of humor is different; my thought process is different; my shirt size has also changed. But the most peculiar change in my life is how distant I have become with my family when I see them.
Even now, when I say "home," I mean my apartment ten minutes from campus, not my parents' house. I tend to not return my mother's phone calls immediately. I use the word "love" more often with people I've known less than two years compared to those I've known since I was a two-year-old. Has the independence of college life changed me for the better or for the worse?
All of the stress brought on by having a steady social life, work schedules, homework, papers and exams can cause any person to grow aggravated, so when you leave campus for a few days to get away, the last thing you usually wish to discuss is the exact same topic that Mom and Dad want to talk about. We become aggravated and defensive, and squabbles develop.
We forget that our parents are going through a huge transition too, but we still treat them like the annoying kid in the back of class that doesn't pay attention during the lecture and asks stupid questions later.
Several older undergraduates will probably tell you the same: A little anxiety might be common during the first few visits home.
Elizabeth Preston of myFootpath.com recollects, "The first time I went home after going to college, I had to battle the most vicious of all parenting tactics: the, 'Oh, it's okay honey. You can go off and see your friends and leave the people who raised you and loved you and nurtured you for eighteen years. Really, we won't mind at all,' maneuver."
One of my friends had another reason for anxiety. "I don't like going home because my parents make me work for them while I'm there," my friend said.
Now that you've had a couple of months to let this college thing sink in, I think you new students will find that you'll spend less time scheduling your next family visit and more time goofing off and making stupid mistakes. But that's okay. Just remember to spend at least a little quality time with your family before it's too late.
As time goes on, you'll find that you argue with your family a lot less. The constant photo opportunities that used to annoy you seem somewhat refreshing. And sure, you get asked the same four questions over and over again -- "How are your classes? Are you still going out with what's her name? Have you been behaving? Why don't you call more often?"
But who cares? The food is free!
Have fun; be careful and enjoy college. Mom and Dad will still be proud of you the next morning.
Write to Gregory at gttwifford@bsu.edu
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