As the cool, spring winds kowtow to the annual May and June westerlies, and the vernal equinox gracefully finds its seat in the forgotten back row of our memories, the summer turns inevitable.
Soon, we'll all be able to realize the fruits of our winter complaints. Scarves will be shoved into Rubbermaid containers for storage. Layers will peel off. Skin will tan and reveal itself, and then boys will gawk. Girls will do whatever it is exactly that girls do when boys wear board shirts and AE tank tops. Probably gawk.
And, soon, it'll be too hot to eat warm food.
In the summer months, we are home alone. We're often lazy, and there is no single food item easier to prepare than a bowl of cereal -- not to mention, the dish is always cold, sweet and delicious.
We also tend to wake up later in the morning, or in my case, earlier in the afternoon. And, who wants to eat half of a bag of egg noodles or a frozen pizza just after waking up? First, each requires too much effort, and second, each would never taste as good as a bowl of Apple Jacks or Cinnamon Toast Crunch (which happens to be man's finest creation) does.
Probably, the night before we spent positioning a Wal-Mart box fan to blow on us more effectively and writhing around until the humidity finally knocked us out, we woke up with sweat-soaked sheets and a headache. What's better to soothe our ills and start the day correctly than this part of a balanced breakfast?
The fact is: cereal is timely. It's impossible to refuse, for it is good at any hour of the day, during any season in any year.
I also maintain that breakfast is America's favorite meal. A lot of us skip it, but that is because sleeping is the only thing better than breakfast.
Still, I can prove my claim: How many of us have ever eaten pancakes, hash browns or scrambled eggs for dinner? Then, how many of us have eaten mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans or tuna casserole for breakfast? I thought so. Breakfast, 1. Lunch and Dinner, 0.
With every summer, rightfully, the suits in the breakfast food industry, namely the cold cereal gurus (see: Kellogg's, Post, Malt-O-Meal) and dairy manufacturers, experience a sales explosion until at least the middle of August. Money pours in, and again, I'll continue to contribute more than my fair share.
I'm an avid cereal aficionado. Granola, the mini-marshmallow stuff, bran flakes, whatever -- I'll challenge anyone to an eat-off. I started training at a young age. I'd tag along with my mother on grocery trips and tug on the seam of her shirt until she caved and bought me a few extra boxes. Granted, she refused to buy them unless they were on "Red Tag Special," but I was never too upset. With enough sugar, anything tastes good.
So, this summer, like every other year, I'm going to be spending my paychecks on skim milk and Frosted Flakes. I've found it's useless to fight against the power of a cold, delicious breakfast, so I am declaring this summer, "The season of the cereal."
Grab your bowl and your spoon and join me, won't you?
Write to Allyn at
aswest@bsu.edu
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