Plan B:Campus sidewalks feature great entertainment on way to classes

Now that the weather is pleasant, it is our opportunity to see some free, excellent entertainment. No need to pack the car and travel far. Just get out and walk around campus during the daytime. You'll see the best performers, ones that cannot be found on any stage. Ball State University is now showing: "The Folks Less Ordinary."

Mat: Some of you may think Bible-slapping idiots and others are annoying, but I disagree. They keep me entertained on those boring walks to class. As I see it now, we have a shortage of unique individuals. It would be advantageous to the students to find ways to bring more of these free shows to campus.

Kevin: Just last week there was a young gentleman spreading "the word," standing between Pruis Hall and Bracken Library. Having some extra time, I figured I'd hear him out. The first 10 minutes were relatively calm, as he talked about students using drugs, having premarital sex and doing other immoral acts. But things started to get interesting when he brought up homosexuality. He did the whole "homos are going to hell" bit. I secretly yearned to inform him that the fashion gods surely intend to strike him down for wearing a brown belt with black shoes, but I silenced the assertion.

Mat: Ball State seems to be more liberal than not, so it's not too hard to get some good crazy people to come here. An indirect way of aiding the sidewalk entertainment of BSU is publicizing our liberal programs on campus. That way it would fuel these preachers' fires, and the audiences would see significantly better performances.

Kevin: I think Ball State needs to try to attract not only the wannabe preachers, but also some other interesting folks, such as mimes, clowns and Elvis impersonators. I wonder if Ms. Cleo has some availability in her schedule and needs some work. She could set up at the Scramble Light with her table and say in her cheap Jamaican accent, "Cross the street now for yer free readin'."

Mat: Maybe the university already pays these people to come here. I don't know where my money goes; maybe they take the deposits we never get back and sponsor narrow-minded entertainers. I could only hope my money would go to such a good cause. I would like to thank those lowly performers who take time out of their days to bring us good laughs. They may be trying to convey a message or make a statement, but their main role here on campus is to put a smile on our faces as we file obediently into the lecture halls. So thank them for reminding you that you are not them.

Kevin: I'm sure the most eccentric performers reside on either of the coasts and, in order to attract the best, we could offer them free housing. BSU could convert the old ATO fraternity house into a warehouse, of sorts.

Final thought: Some of the greatest teachers aren't employed by Ball State. Some of the best classrooms on campus are outside. Walk campus and learn.

Write to Kevin and Mat at


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