My Bucket of Parts: Roommates require gentle touch

Campus is alive with people. The parents are gone and the houses encompassing campus with the red lights are already sought out as "way cool to party at."

Then, we all get back to our rooms, look across the tile floor and sigh: its time to live with people again - people our age and people we choose to live with (unless you're into masochism, or potluck).

Unlike being birthed into a family we either adore or despise, roommates are the family we choose. Most freshmen are exempt from this and don't need to read any further.

But I don't advise that. Keep reading.

Roommates are important because we can live with them and we can live without them. But then rent is more expensive, we have to buy a DVD player and our music collections are not as expansive - and it gives us someone to blame everything on while having a bad day: the mess on the floor, the odd smell in the room, the reason no one comes to visit even if the door is wide open.

Yes, the inevitable college roommate. We hate them, we love them, we steal things from them, we hang out with them, we steal things from them, they can't do anything right, they play their music too loud and we steal things from them.

But how are we capable of living with them for an entire year? For one, ask the doctor for a heavy prescription of sleeping medication. If the doctor is against that idea, any convenience store has Nytol, which shouldn't be confused with Mytol, although some roommates may need heavy dosages of both - we don't want to deal with roommates that foam at the mouth, right?

If you're into a more holistic form of dealing with roommates, don't forget to acknowledge them and simply talk to them, that is, unless they're so involved with their fantasy, role-playing computer games they can't remember their own names.

"I am Decreptor, Master of the Underground Goblin Crematorium."

Freaky.

And it's always a good idea to find out what you have in common with the roommate. Whether it's pizza and porn, Nintendo's Game Cube or voodoo practices, finding the one thing in common may bring the two of you a little closer - or be the one thing that stops the one from killing the

other.

Although, voodoo magic isn't always a good thing: "Eric, you shall have three pins stuck in you. One in your chest, one in your back and the other one right between your ... eyes."

Ouch.

Sharing items is another focus between roommates that can be taboo. Cups, plates, certain food items and technology should always be up for grabs. Things like towels, personal sanitization products, the bed and underwear is a bit much. If you do walk into the room with your roommate prancing around in your underwear drinking the rest of your IBC Root Beer stash, then it's probably a wise choice to pull out the voodoo doll.

"Right between the ... eyes."

Most times, roommates just become space fillers and they stop talking to you and acknowledging you. Other times, that roommate will talk to the resident assistant and make you move out without even telling you.

Roommates can remain as decent friends throughout the year - just stay out of their underwear drawer - and talk to them like they're human. Communication is key.

And don't forget, even if you're close friends with your roommate, there will be times when you need to vent or just make fun of them, and when that time comes, you must do it covertly.