Not 'That Guy': Bigomy not easy, requires 5 step plan

Leo D. Youngblood had the right idea about the act of bigamy - but went about it the wrong way.

Youngblood was charged with bigamy when his wife saw his name in the listing of marriage licenses in The Star Press.

His wife, Michelle, reported it to the police after she saw the listing.

I'm sorry Leo, bad move.

Dictionary.com defines bigamy as the criminal offense of marrying one person while still legally married to another person.

The penalty is a Class D felony that has a 1 1/2-year prison term.

Let me tell you how to get around this whole problem.

You've got to have a plan of action.

This isn't as easy as putting together model airplanes or a lego pirate ship set. It's a complicated task and requires precision.

We're dealing with women, not inanimate objects; although some may argue. At times they are much brighter than we give credit.

That is why the plan needs to be sound. There can't be any loop-holes or questions about it.

The plan needs to be broken down into five parts, much like a book report.

1. Scouting

Just like any other relationship, you go out on dates and look for that one person you want to be with. But that's the trick. They don't have to be perfect. When dealing with two or three wives, they can be put together to make the perfect super-wife. It's just the bad qualities you have to look for.

If she's religious, stop right now. The typical religious Hoosier girl will not go for the idea of polygamy.

You have to stay away from the romantic girls as well. Their idea of romance is being with their one-and-only someone. They don't see having a candlelight dinner with a husband, and the other Mrs., as romantic. So get romance out of your head.

Taking that type of stuff into consideration, a list should form. A good list would consist of about 10 different women, that way you can weed out the bad apples. And hopefully come out of the situation with a few good wives.

2. Dating

In this step, it is so important that you date them all during the same time period. This does two things for you.

It tests the waters by giving you the ability to tell that lucky lady that you are dating other people. Catch the reaction. If she's not hip to the idea, then you know to take her off the list.

If she digs the idea, you are in. Throw her on the final cuts.

Dating them at the same time lets you compare and contrast easier. It makes the decision process much easier.

Also be sure to take detailed notes on each date. Catch reactions to certain comments, the way she eats, dresses, etc.

After completing the dating process, narrow the list down accordingly. If you're looking for a possible three wives, it's a good idea to have five on the list just in case they're not down with polygamy.

3. The Proposal

It's good to have this typed and printed out for each prospect. Also back it up on disk.

The proposal itself is much like a cover letter to a resume.

State your objective. Tell her what you are looking for in this relationship and what you look forward to in the future. Be very careful on the wording. Some women take things out of context.

You want more than one wife. Sometimes you have to just be straight forward.

4. The Delivery

This can be done in a couple different ways. You can bring them all together at one location, or you can talk to them individually.

Give them your typed out proposal, and tell them your feelings. If they walk out on the idea, there is not much you can do. Just bank on the rest of the list.

Coming out of the delivery step, hopefully you will have two or three women who are in favor of this commitment. If not, you can always go back to the drawing board.

5. Execution

This is where Leo went really bad.

YOU DON'T LIST THE MARRIAGE IN THE LOCAL NEWSPAPER!

That is how authorities catch on to these tiny aspects of your personal life.

Bad Leo. Don't make it public.

The best way to get around the marriage aspect, is to not get married at all. You are not legally responsible if you are not legally married.

If there has to be a marriage, just have one wedding. You can legally marry one person, but informally celebrate the binding contract between all.

Leo went into this daunting task without a gameplan and it may cost him 1 1/2 years of his life. The best way to get around the situation is to just be happy with one woman. Isn't it more meaningful to have all the perfect qualities in one person, rather than three or four?

One wife is definitely the best way around bigamy.


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