Earthquake baby shakes midwestern life
Emma Katelyn King came into the world at 3:40 p.m. Tuesday, just 3 hours after an earthquake registering 5.0 on the Richter scale rattled the Midwest.
Coincidence?
Although the quake's epicenter was in southern Indiana, someone looking for a semi-funny joke about birthing contractions could assume this was no ordinary baby. (Insert dramatic music here.) Not that anyone I know would do such a thing.
According to the National Earthquake Information Center, the quake was felt as far away as West Virginia. Although no casualties were reported, some foundations cracked and bric-a-brac got shifted.
Some baby, huh?
So, my brother became a father again, proving once again that Kings, although not exceptionally gifted, are still somehow capable of reproduction.
My sister-in-law became a mother again, proving once again that Kings have the exceptional ability to eventually find someone silly enough to stay with us.
My father became a grandfather again, illustrating that, if you spoil the first granddaughter, another one will find its way into the world soon enough.
My 2-year-old niece became a big sister and couldn't understand why everyone was being so quiet and what the big deal was about this Wrinkly New Kid in Town. She also got a balloon, so all was well with the world despite an earthquake and a slight decrease in attention.
I have trouble carrying most inanimate objects without dropping them, so I stood across the room and politely declined when I was offered a chance to hold this new baby, despite encouragement from Dad that I shouldn't be afraid, and that I could "pick a baby up by its legs and sling it around."
Babies, according to Dad, are "tough." This one caused an earthquake. I can't really argue.
However, I now understand my frequent headaches and dizziness, which can be attributed to being a "resilient infant." I wonder how often someone lifted me by my legs and slung me around.
I'm normal, really.
A new documentary began production Tuesday, with the camera catching all sorts of relatives holding her. Naturally, she did nothing for the camera except stir a bit and do those minor infant nuances. Infants aren't the most active people in the world.
I imagine the editing nightmare to come, should they discover how easily home movie editing and DVD making has become in recent years. I will deny any ability to edit video when the time comes, not because I don't care, but mainly because I'm lazy.
So, today, an 8 pound 3 ounce bundle sleeps, unaware that she is the center of attention. She may just read this someday and think about John the Crazy Uncle. I wonder what she'll think of me when she's old enough to think something about me.
Maybe someday soon I'll hold Emma and act awkward and not know what to do when people start taking pictures. When someone holds a baby, everyone else watches. So I guess I'll smile. Maybe I'll even mention that newborn babies look like Yoda, just to aggravate people.
Maybe several years down the road, she'll read this and know that despite an earthquake's competition, she shook our little world this week and was the epicenter of all things. Meanwhile, I was thinking of earthquake puns to associate with her.
Welcome home, Emma Katelyn.
Write to John at kingseyeland@hotmail.com
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