View from the spectrum: Sexual orientation dictates: benefits vary by preference

Kevin: It's good to be straight.

Mat: He's right you know.

Kevin: Specifically when it comes to adoption, insurance health benefits, stability of housing, jobs and military status, and the ability to be a boy scout.

Mat: Being straight comes in handy when you need to find a dating partner because (if you haven't noticed) most of the population is straight. However, a gay person can always spot another in a crowd. That's right, there's always gaydar.

Kevin: Oh, the benefits of gaydar. Gaydar is the ability for someone who is gay (or around gays often) to pick out other gays. I'm not saying there is actually a natural sense of detecting someone's gayness or not, but some gays claim their gaydar can surpass the radar of a military base. They think they can walk into any situation and find the fellow homo. Gaydar (whether real or not) is just one of the many perks of singing up for the "Gay 101" program, although I'm still waiting on my free toaster.

Mat: There is another advantage in the residence halls. With same-sex floors, it is easier for gay couples to live close or in the same room as one another. When I attended the first floor meetings of my freshman and sophomore years, we had to vote on 24-hour visitation (for the opposite sex). Of course this option passed both times, but had it not, straights would be at a major disadvantage.

Kevin: One more advantage is the fact girls (specifically straight girls) are extremely comfortable changing clothes in front of gay guys. Well, this would be an advantage, but the whole gay thing is stopping it from becoming a full-fledge advantage.

Mat: Gay men do not have to try to figure out women, however straight men do. Straight men have a very hard time figuring out what it is that women want. This is why some women believe that straight men are stupid. But do women actually know how crazy they are? Women are strange creatures. I have faced the fact that I am never going to figure out women, I just have to try my best not to upset my girlfriend. Crap, I bet writing about it in the paper didn't help.

Kevin: Just because we don't date women doesn't necessarily mean we are exempt from listening to how bad their boyfriends are that week, how painful their cramps were yesterday, or how stressed they are because of classes. Gay guys hear what women don't, but want to, tell their boyfriends.

Mat: But gay men know what other men want. I think this is pivotal in making progress within the relationship. For instance, I can't just say to my girlfriend: "Let's go play Madden." I have to think, if I were a woman, what would I want my boyfriend to do or say. My words have to go through a "girlfriend filter." I have to scan the words I want to say, then delete words that may get me in trouble. Gay men have an easier time putting themselves into their partner's shoes.

Kevin: Heck, we can even wear our partner's shoes, yet another advantage. It's good to be gay.

Mat: He's right you know.

Write to Kevin and Mat at Twobsuguys@yahoo.com


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