Custom's lyrics unintelligent

Grade: F

If "Fast," the debut album from Custom, was only comprised of background music, it might be worthy of a C-.

The New York-based artist has some good guitar parts throughout many of the songs, but the lyrics leave something to be desired.

As it stands, however, this album isn't worth the plastic casing in which it is enclosed.

One such example is in the album's sixth track, "Morning Spank," with its juvenile mentality of sexist, trash-talking rhymes which talk about a guy who sleeps with his best friend's girlfriend. Just the title alone gives a clear indication of the utter stupidity of such a song.

In fact, the lyrics to "Morning Spank" are so bad, it's hard to find an example the Daily News could publish in good conscience.

There is one particular amusing section toward the end of the song with nearly 10 lines of ignorant rhyming.

"Your mind's a blank/your face a prank/like you took it point blank/got run over by a tank," are just some of the lyrics actually worth printing.

The chorus is worse, giving the main idea of "Morning Spank" with the line, "There's no piece of ass worth a friendship."

There's no intelligent mind behind the lyrics, either.

Every song on the album pretty much does the same thing as "Morning Spank" with its rhyme scheme. Each song is basically a collection of rambling, nonsense rhyming that has no clear meaning to anything a fan of actual musical talent would find relevant.

The best track on "Fast" has to be "Skate," but only because it's about 30 seconds long consists of only a few lines of lyrics.

"Fast" spend its entirety devoted to a tribute to women who are willing to have sex with any man and about the wonders of drug use.

In the track "Hey Mister," this concept is made plain as day.

"Hey mister/I really like your daughter/I'd like to eat her like ice cream/maybe dip her in chocolate."

What's worse is this album has received critical praise from publications that should know better.

The L.A. Times gave "Fast" a positive review for the most part, saying it "purrs in your ear like a Brit-rock urchin."

I'm wondering if the reviewer even listened to it.

Something as trashy as this album might appeal to the average male high-school sophomore, but even after a few listens, I believe even high school kids would tire of this album's obvious immaturity.


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