'Breeder does not work effectively as an insult

For all the years gays have put up with being called "Fag," or "Queer," with what have they responded?

Gays need some offensive terms to call straight people. We could come up with only one term, and it lacks the power to degrade a straight person.

Mat: "Breeder," for example, (the only straight-bashing word I know) is not offensive. I have been called "breeder" before and it almost made me feel good. Please, don't get me wrong, I am totally against overpopulation. I do not plan to have more than two kids; but I am still a breeder nonetheless.

I bet I can breed with the best of them. See? This term does not work. I need to be offended here, people. I give the gay community credit: It is hard to insult someone for simply being straight. It is easy to offend someone by another means -- such as race, skin color, or even how deviant they are from the social norm. Another reason why this term does not work is because a lot of the gay people I know eventually want to have kids.

Kevin: It's all in the context of how you say it. If you simply say "breeder" -- no, then it doesn't work. If a rolling of the eyes is done simultaneously, then it works. It's as simple as that. Usually, I'll drop the B-bomb when two of my straight friends are exchanging saliva with each other. By no way am I heterophobic, just as long as they don't hit on me, then we can live in harmony.

Mat: I don't think the term "breeder" would work, even if you rolled your eyes. For that word to offend me, there would have to be a perfect situation for the slam, then a perfect acting job on the part of the offender. The term "faggot" does all the work by itself. All I have to do is say it to offend a gay person; no acting required.

Kevin: I don't know, Mat, gays are pretty good actors. Look at all the people in the closet. A lot of gays have played straight for a good portion of their lives, some even 50 or 60 years.

Anyway, playing a breeder is so much easier. All you have to do is splash on some testosterone and sit in front of the television with your hand in a potato chip bag. Being gay requires so much more work, time and money.

Mat: I disagree. It's just as easy to act gay as it is to act straight. For some reason, everyone thinks it's funny when you talk with a lisp, mimicking a gay guy, but it is really easy. I am convinced that every straight male can act gay and it's just as easy for a gay guy to act straight.

Although we do not support hate in any way, we want to encourage not only the gay community, but also the Ball State community as a whole to come up with other derogatory terms for straight people -- from a gay perspective.

If you come up with one, e-mail it to us. Mat will see if it offends him and we will e-mail you back, grading you on a scale of 1-10 on how much you offended Mat. Our reasoning behind this is to bolster the word vocabulary of gays in respect to making fun of straights.

Mat: "Breeder," I'm afraid, does not hit a straight person where it hurts. In fact, this "breeder," will be cheering on the Patriots in the Super Bowl this Sunday with my hand in a bag of Doritos.

Write to Mat and Kevin at Twobsuguys@yahoo.com.


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