Pencil Shavings: Why we worship dogs
Justice Amick is a junior news journalism major and writes “Pencil Shavings" for the Daily News. Her views do not necessarily agree with those of the newspaper. Write to Justice at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I’m about to hit you with cold, hard facts. Here are 10 reasons why we worship dogs.
1. They don’t need you to cook for them
Considering many of us on this campus don’t do the cooking thing, dogs are the perfect companion for us. They don’t care what you feed them, as long as it’s edible. Also, they have food pre-bagged, so it involves no extra effort to make sure they’re getting the nutrients they need. Oh, and also, don’t forget about the treats. Treats are dessert, and dogs deserve dessert three times a day.
2. They’re fluffy
You know in "Despicable Me" when Agnes is like “It’s so fluffy I’m gonna die!” This is the perfect reaction when seeing a fluffy dog. The next best reaction is to ask to pet them. When the fluffiness rolls under your fingers and their little doggy eyes look at you, be ready for the melting of your heart.
3. They love you unconditionally
Imagine this: you’ve had a long day full of annoying people, bad food and loads of homework. All you want to do is go home and lay on the floor. When you get home and open the door, YOUR DOG IS THERE TO ATTACK YOUR FACE! The best feeling in the world is when you get home from a long day and your dog is so excited to see you. They’re all like, “Hello! I missed you! Look at me! I’M CUTE! Pet me! Let me suck away all of your problems with the touch of my cute furry paw!”
Also, according to the journal "Science", when humans and dogs look into each other’s eyes, they both get a boost of a feel-good hormone called oxytocin. Your brain literally fills with a happy feeling just by looking into a dog’s eyes. True love in its purest form.
4. They make you get off your lazy bottom
Not only do they force you to not be lazy, they also help your health in numerous ways. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, dogs help lower blood pressure, cholesterol and risk of heart attack. If the CDC says you can not be fat or lower the chance of you dying in the future by having a dog, then you should at least consider getting one if you don’t have one already. What especially helps is when they casually stroll over with their leash in their mouth like, “It’s that time again, Jerry.”
5. They are the therapist you will never go see
I got my dog, Dallas, when he was just a puppy. He was with me for 14 years before he passed away. Personally, I told him everything. Drama, gossip, how horrible my day was, how I have a weird obsession with candles. He knew all of my problems and when I was done ranting for the day, I just knew he understood what I was going through. It’s like telepathically, they just know your problems and are just absorbing all of that negativity for you. It’s been proven by the National Institutes of Health that dogs help reduce stress rates and raise your self-esteem.
6. They’re your best friend
Feeling lonely? Go get a dog, and I swear you’ll never feel lonely ever again. When you have a dog, people are sometimes just second best. Dogs aren’t annoying (unless you’re not paying attention to them), they always want to go out with you, they give you as many kisses as you want and they miss you when you’re gone. Also, did I mention the free therapy? Literally the perfect best friend, in the palm of your hand.
7. They’re part of the family
For dog lovers, being away from our dogs back at home is the suckiest part of college. I have friends whose parents Facetime them just so they can see their dog and talk to them. They’re just as important when it comes to home phone calls, they’re good boys too. I also know families who dress their dogs up for Halloween, take them on every vacation and put them on their Christmas card. They’re not just a pet, they’re part of your family unit. Ohana, my friends.
8. They’re hilarious
Sometimes I’m convinced dogs are people in furry form. They can be so sassy and yet so funny at the same time. For example, it’s raining and they need to go out, but they don’t like the wet grass or getting dirty. Every dog owner knows that, “Absolutely not Sharon, we are not going outside for a bathroom break right now” look. Also, they think they can catch a fly in their mouth and will attempt for at least 10 minutes. Free entertainment, another plus.
9. They are an answer to every problem
Lull in the conversation? Talk about your dog. Can’t seem to make a love connection? Have your dog go lick someone. Need motivation to get active? Get a dog. Cold? Cuddle with your dog. Bored? Take pictures or watch videos of your dog or other people’s dogs if you’re the unfortunate person without one. I could go on all day, but I think I’ve made my point.
10. They are literally perfect
Honestly, there is nothing more to say. Dogs are, and will forever be, one of the greatest things to walk this Earth.
Dog lovers unite!