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(11/13/17 4:34am)
by Tanner Kinney
Hollywood has no idea what they are doing. This is a statement most people would widely agree is true, and there’s not much else to add to it. When Hollywood executives aren’t fondling underaged actors and actresses without their consent, those hacks spend their time coming up with the worst ideas known to humanity. Ideas so dumb that most people would be like, “hey wait a minute, that movie sounds awful, who would ever want to watch it.” This is how we get movies like Lucy, where anyone actually USING all of their brains would’ve shot it down. Or the Lone Ranger remake, which no one asked for and bombed horribly. Or the Ben-Hur remake, which no one asked for and bombed horribly. You see the problem here? It’s almost like cheap, awful remakes that no one asked for don’t do well in the box office.
So, when Universal first pitched their complete dumb idea of the “Dark Universe,” the obvious response to it was that it was going to fail. Yet, Universal still tried. Boy, did they try. To be fair, the idea of all the famous Universal monsters coming together for one big monster mash is not a bad one, and could lead to some fun fan service if done properly. All they had to do was go back to the horror roots; tap the nostalgia like it’s some kind of mobile clicker game and put out something goofy, but fun. Of course, that’s too smart of an idea for Hollywood, who chose to make a terrible remake of The Mummy, which already had a really successful series of action movies fairly recently. If it’s one thing we learn from Spider-Man though, it’s never too soon for another reboot. Or, perhaps a sequel reboot. A seaboot, if you will. Universal made the brilliant idea to have the a digitally-edited Tom Cruise play their action hero to launch their new cinematic universe.
To everyone’s surprise, The Mummy flopped domestically and was critically panned. I was completely floored by the idea that The Mummy movie that never looked good during any part of production turned out to be a real stinker. Yet, the movie did well in China. In fact, it actually made a lot of money overseas, which was really disappointing. Most people decided that this just meant Universal would keep pumping out these awful Dark Universe films, all of them would suck, but still make money. It’d be like if Michael Bay made an expanded universe of his films. Such great films we’d get to look forward to, like Johnny Depp as the Invisible Man or Javier Bardem as Frankenstein’s Monster. I could feel my soul slowly leaving my body, ascending onto a plane in which this horrible cinematic universe didn’t exist. The Dark Universe wasn’t the one they were selling, but the one the audience was living in. Truly a terrifying prospect.
https://twitter.com/Ceilidhann/status/928283508501598208
Fortunately, it seems that the people have finally won and Hollywood isn’t going to do something incredibly dumb anymore, at least for now. It was recently revealed that the main writer-producers, Alex Kurtzman and Chris Morgan, left the Dark Universe experiment. The overwhelming forces against the Dark Universe project must have been too great for them, and they left Universal. The Bride of Frankenstein has also been shelved indefinitely, which is essentially a stake in the coffin of this creativity-sucking Dracula of a cinematic universe. A silver stake, bathed in holy water and cloaked in garlic. The world no longer faces the torment of the Dark Universe, thank the gods above.
https://twitter.com/AustinCTweets/status/928357009853943809
Is this really for the best though? What about the potential future movies not being a complete landfill of badness? What if one of them managed to break 50% on Rotten Tomatoes? Well, I can’t speak for everyone, but I sure am glad this is dead (or, perhaps undead). This is only partially because the Dark Universe idea makes my skin crawl, as if the Creature from the Black Lagoon was gurgling in my cereal bowl. There was just no way their cast could work. Now, there’s nothing wrong with Russell Crowe, Russell Crowe is a beautiful creature who deserves better than this Dark Universe garbage. I would pay to see him in the lead of an awful Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde movie because he might actually make something passable. But everyone else just makes it seem terrible. Particularly Johnny Depp, who hasn’t put out anything worth watching in years. And why Tom Cruise, of all people? Tom Cruise is pushing 60 now, he’s not the action superstar he used to be. The youth crowd who typically eat up this cinematic universe crap don’t care much about Tom Cruise either. Something went horribly wrong here, and there’s no way the movies would’ve been good. Any of them. If someone has crossed over from an alternate dimension where the Dark Universe took off, please tell me if the movies got better after The Mummy. I have to know.
https://twitter.com/ProfessorThorgi/status/928338757354491915
The other, more important part of the Dark Universe failing is that it means we might FINALLY stop getting these unnecessary, cash-grab, fan-bait fiestas of cinematic universes. Since Marvel hit it big with their expanded film universe, everyone and their dogs are trying to pull together whatever random franchises they have rights to and create their own cinematic universe. DC, sure, okay, compete with Marvel, do your best. Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice was the best nap I had in 2016, so I hope Justice League can hold up to that standard.
Then you had the Godzilla/King Kong cinematic universe, which could either be really good or really bad depending on how it’s executed. Kaiju films are always a treat to watch when they are done well, who doesn’t like watching giant monsters fight each other? Then it was confirmed we’d be getting Star Wars movies until the end of human existence, which I’m sure won’t get old after a while.
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="780"] Image from IndieWire[/caption]
The desperate culmination of this trend chasing was the Dark Universe, which unraveled faster than cheaply made sweaters from the Grandma who can’t really knit very well but bless her heart she tries. It failed, it fell flat, it’s completely donezo. So, hopefully the next Hollywood hack who isn’t too busy sticking his hands where they don’t belong will be discouraged from trying a cinematic universe. I honestly doubt that’ll stop Hollywood, but we can hope.
Universal truly fumbled their cinematic universe, but it’s not all bad. It’s not like the monster movies of old have all vanished and we can’t watch them, they still exist and they’re still fantastic. In fact, they’re better because those movies were crafted by people who loved film and wanted to make something people would love for generations. They weren’t made by Hollywood executives and focus groups, desperately chasing the next hot trend, hoping to get a piece of the slowly disappearing pie. Even DC and Marvel might not be able to keep up their cinematic universes for much longer, how much of a chance do you think an action oriented Universal monsters cinematic would have? At the very least, they should’ve got Brendan Fraser. Please, the man needs work, he’s hungry and still paying off his crazy ex-wife. Give Brendan Fraser a chance.
Sources: Deadline, Variety, IGN
Images: Den of Geek, Twitter, Rotten Tomatoes, IndieWire
(11/13/17 12:55am)
This review is based on the PC version of Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back and was conducted on a PC with an AMD Radeon HD 7500, i7, 8GBs of RAM.
(11/08/17 7:09pm)
by Tanner Kinney
This review is based on the PC version of Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back and was conducted on a PC with an AMD Radeon HD 7500, i7, 8GBs of RAM.
It’s no question that 2017 has been a fantastic year for games as a whole. There have been so many amazing, near-perfect games that end-of-the-year lists are going to be a real struggle for people. One genre that has had a hugely successful year in particular is the platformer. The once-great genre has seen some amazing titles in past years, but it mostly sticks to small indie games nowadays. This year, however, had some truly amazing platformers like Cuphead, Super Mario Odyssey, Sonic Mania, A Hat in Time, Metroid: Samus Returns, Mighty Gunvolt Burst, and arguably Yooka-Laylee depending on how much the player enjoys dull collect-a-thons. Just playing platformers this year would give you a great set of games to play.
Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back is not one of those games. The plan of releasing a reboot to a franchise that exists only as an internet meme within the same month as Super Mario Odyssey was certainly a bold one. What could POSSIBLY go wrong?
Looks equivalent to a hairball
Bubsy is 2.5D this time, being a 2D platformer with 3D visuals. That’s fine; it has worked in the past for some games and not worked for others. Woolies Strike Back unfortunately doesn't quite cut it. Booting up the game immediately gives some underwhelming computer-generated (CG) graphic art, and the 3D models themselves aren’t anything impressive. In motion, the game doesn’t look much better. It’s not completely horrific to look at, but man is it just very, very bland. Bubsy’s animation on the world map deserves special attention for how horrific it is, and the attempt at animation they do with the 2D CGs is just sad. On the bright side, at least it runs well.
The overall art design of the game is fairly reminiscent of the original Bubsy: Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind, except 3D and missing the soul that Bubsy had (if dated pop culture references count as soul). It’s almost disgusting to say, but the original had so much more visual flair to it compared to Woolies Strike Back. Every frame of movement for Bubsy had so much character and radical '90s energy to it. The different death animations for all the dumb ways Bubsy died also added a lot to the game, even if some were a little too long. The reboot completely drops the ball here. It’d be like if in the Crash Bandicoot remake all of Crash’s deaths were just him flying off the screen. It’s unfortunate for Bubsy, but compared to any other modern 2D platformer, this game just doesn’t stack up visually.
Bubsy’s one-liners are meowsic to the ears, unlike the actual soundtrack
Bubsy’s existence is based around him being essentially Duke Nukem as a bobcat. He quips, makes dated pop culture references, cracks meta jokes, and occasionally mocks the player. In fact, it could be argued that the only reason people remember the definitively mediocre Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind is BECAUSE Bubsy makes a dumb quip at the start of every level. In Woolies Strike Back, at least at first, Bubsy doesn’t talk at all. This is obviously a disappointment, because that’s the best part of Bubsy’s lack of a character. It took until the second boss for the discovery that the game is bugged and Bubsy should’ve been talking the whole time. For some reason, Bubsy doesn’t speak by default. The game must be paused and unpaused for Bubsy to start talking. This may or may not be a bug across all platforms though, so just keep an ear out for it.
Strangely enough, the game genuinely becomes more enjoyable once Bubsy starts talking. There’s even a slider in the options menu to determine how often Bubsy will have a one-liner. Cranking it up all the way has him talking with nearly every move he makes. This is a great option for those who love self-inflicted pain or want the true Bubsy experience. A personal favorite line is Bubsy picking up a shirt power-up and saying “Ah yes, the fashionable equivalent to the chainmail bikini.” Does this improve the game’s score at all? No, no it doesn’t.
The soundtrack, on the other hand, is a massive miss. There were maybe three tracks in the entirety of the 19 songs within the game that were enjoyable. There are some funky bass-lines, and one track even tries to sound like the first level music from Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind, but it’s just not good. Depending on how infuriating the level is, hearing these obnoxious songs loop for five minutes could make someone want to throw their entire console into the dumpster. The legitimate jams do deserve props though, a favorite being the music that plays while fighting the first boss.
Functional gameplay terribly lacking in fun
Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back stays very faithful to the original games, only changing the really bad parts of the gameplay. While in most reboots this would be a good thing, for Bubsy it is the worst move the developer could’ve pawsibly made. The thing about the original Bubsy games - the big secret behind why they are such a joke - is that the games are not fun to play. The games work, mostly, but suffer from bad physics and Bubsy having no weight in any of his movement. Bubsy’s speed ramps up to ridiculous levels, and his traction is basically zero so the player just slides into enemies most of the time. It’s just terrible.
To the credit of the developers, they made a good effort to modernize Bubsy and iron out the most frustrating parts of playing the originals. Bubsy’s speed is now consistent, meaning he’s easier to control. There’s no more falling damage. Jump and glide are now two different abilities, meaning not every single button jumps. One-hit deaths are also less punishing with more frequent checkpoints and a lot of lives. Bubsy even has an attack button, which brings a whole new set of problems, but means jumping on the bad enemy hitboxes is less of an issue. With these things fixed, Woolies Strike Back should’ve been a much better game, but it’s just not.
The biggest problem with Woolies Strike Back, and a problem that a lot of mediocre platformers have, is that movement has no flow to it. Not including how awkward it is to do a simple double jump by pressing two different buttons in sequence, Bubsy’s abilities cannot be chained together freely. Bubsy has a new pounce ability, but it can only be used after a jump. It’s impossible to glide into a pounce or pounce into a glide, which just makes the movement feel awkward. Compare this to, say, Mega Man X2, where the player can jump into an air dash, into a chain grappling to a wall, into consecutive wall jumps, and then do it all again. A Hat in Time, though it is a 3D platformer, allows the player to have complete control over when they use moves and in what order. The movement in those games is crazy fun to experiment with, and Bubsy doesn’t have anything like that.
This is all on top of occasional wonky physics, bad hit detection, and some weird hit boxes. In addition, the pounce attack deserves special mention for being a move that deserves an F-. It’s a horizontal arc attack that flings Bubsy’s frail bobcat body over enemies and into obstacles. It’s almost better as a tool for getting through the dull, uninspired levels faster rather than being a useful attacking move. The second boss in particular is really frustrating because of this, as Bubsy can launch himself into the spikes that line the walls of the arena. The game is functional, yes, but is so devoid of anything interesting that I only started having fun when Bubsy started talking because it broke the droning, humming noise that serves as gameplay.
Featured image from Destructoid
(11/06/17 9:00am)
by Tanner Kinney
On November 2, 2017, Nintendo released a new announcement for Pokemon Ultra Sun and Moon. The game would have a villain team composed entirely of the biggest villains from previous games. Yes, the big shots, all the best characters. Giovanni, Maxie, Archie, Ghetsis, Lysandre, Faba (who?), and of course my main man Cyrus of Team Galactic all return for this big nostalgia-fest of a villain team to honor 20 years of Pokemon history. Now, while I could talk about how cool this is or parallel universes in Pokemon or how they forgot the OG Miror B from Pokemon Colosseum, I don’t think I really can.
If I’m being completely honest, this announcement was the first time since the initial announcement of Pokemon Ultra Sun and Moon that I even acknowledged the game’s existence. I try my best to stay on top of gaming news, and I’ve been playing Pokemon since before I could even read, so I should be following this stuff. But there’s just…nothing. Even on Twitter or Reddit, the buzz about this game is so faint it could be mistaken for the fly you swear has been following you, but is gone every time you turn around. So I ask, "What the hell happened?" Why does it seem like nobody cares about the next major entry in the Pokemon series?
https://twitter.com/LizzRobinett/status/922859189059375105
I thought back on last year when Pokemon Sun and Moon were coming out. A completely new region, with a unique structure, interesting Pokemon, and a whole new gameplay loop that turns the stale Gym format on its head. Plus, they were easily the most graphically interesting games since Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness and had the most unique plot of any of the games. Without a doubt, Sun and Moon were going to completely change how we viewed Pokemon, and honestly it was amazing. Every announcement had people wildly speculating about what’s going on, who’s evil, who’s good, and who the best girl was (the answer is Mallow, for those still wondering). The community was the most alive it had been since, well, ever.
https://twitter.com/GatorEXP/status/926201015086432256
Playing through it the first time started off a little weird, but eventually I fell in love with the new things they added. The games truly felt unique, and people got excited. I remember distinctly breeding new Pokemon for my competitive teams while the meta was still dependant on what was available in Sun and Moon and how exciting the competitive scene was for a while there. Fishing for Mareanies, trying out the new Alolan Pokemon, facing the new Totem Pokemon, everything stands out. Looking back, it was the most fun I’ve had with a Pokemon game since I played Pokemon Sapphire as a small bab. It was a truly wonderful experience, and though some aspects seemed a little undercooked and there was still no really strong post-game experience, people loved it. I loved it. I couldn’t wait to see what Nintendo would do for Pokemon, especially on the rumored NX (now the Switch) that was allegedly both a home console and a handheld. These hopes would very quickly be dashed.
https://twitter.com/foolishlayde/status/917819323569152000
Pokemon Ultra Sun and Moon suffers mainly from horrific timing on Nintendo’s part in terms of their release schedule. Yes, the new Pokemon games are coming out only a year after the previous ones, take place in the same region, add very little in the way of innovative gameplay, and are on a handheld that should’ve been retired months ago. The 3DS, while it is a great handheld and one of my favorite gaming consoles, just doesn’t have the power to impress anymore. The fact that Nintendo is still releasing major titles on the 3DS is a waste of everyone’s time. Sure, it has the install base and will create guaranteed money, but Pokemon never suffered from being unable to make money. Pokemon Go was a half-baked, underdeveloped, buggy, poorly optimized, poorly managed, non-game, and that still made a killing for Niantic and, in a roundabout way, Nintendo because of license fees. Pokemon: Battle Revolution was a disappointing waste of time and money that still sold millions of copies. Would it be too much of a stretch to say that a quality, brand-spanking new Nintendo Switch Pokemon game (not Pokken Tournament, please no) would’ve sent sales for the console through the roof, as if Super Mario Odyssey and Breath of the Wild haven’t already? No, it would’ve sold like hotcakes and sent Switch demand even higher. Instead, we get another Pokemon game with bad framerates in 240p in 2017.
https://twitter.com/Vox_Is_Dead/status/926863974662012929
Speaking of the Switch, the launch year for the Switch has completely smothered almost all other Nintendo news. The Switch has had what seems to be one of the strongest console launches for any company this generation, and every day it seems new great games are getting put on the Switch. Nintendo is basically competing with just themselves, Cuphead, Horizon: Zero Dawn and maybe Atlus’s Persona 5 for game of the year. Breath of the Wild was so popular it outsold the Switch itself, and Super Mario Odyssey is the fastest selling Mario game in the US of all time. Splatoon 2 is also great, but Splatoon makes me want to fricking break my gosh darn controller into a million hecking pieces (keep it kid friendly, Nintendo is watching). Nintendo is doing a fantastic job marketing the Switch and keeping the public eyes on the Switch. This is, of course, at a cost. Newly released 3DS titles are kind of just pushed aside for the Switch, Ultra Sun and Moon included. It’s hard to get excited for games on the 3DS when you see something amazing cooking on the Switch, and the Switch game is also portable like the 3DS. People want to talk about the Switch and maybe Metroid because we don’t see Metroid a lot, not another Pokemon sequel releasing on outdated hardware.
https://twitter.com/austinwachukwu/status/924501684738580480
So, is it just too soon for a new Pokemon game? Well historically, Nintendo releases Pokemon games very, very frequently. The largest gap between main series Pokemon games is 2 years, while most tend to get released within a year the previous one. Looking at the timeline, however, the only game to get their third/sequel game within a year of the previous one was Pokemon Crystal, which was used to show off new hardware in the Gameboy Color. Every other third game in a Pokemon generation had a two year break between games, even if there was a completely different game in-between them. Ultra Sun and Moon is the first to break that trend, and considering everything else that’s stacked up against it (lack of originality or new hardware and a little bit of Pokemon fatigue) seems to be causing a lack of interest in Ultra Sun and Moon. No matter what crazy story elements they add or saying that every legendary (not true) can be obtained in Ultra Sun and Moon, it’s hard to beat indifference from people who just want something new.
Pokemon Ultra Sun and Moon is still going to sell millions. It’s a main series Pokemon game; if it didn’t sell millions I would be seriously concerned. However, I wouldn’t be surprised if there were significantly fewer sales for the new games as compared to Sun and Moon. It’s easy to see when people aren’t talking about something, and no one is talking about Ultra Sun and Moon. People just can’t find it in them to care when there are so many good games and horrible business practices taking headline space away from relatively plain Pokemon sequels. Maybe I’m just looking in the wrong places, but from where last year I saw hype for Pokemon Sun and Moon for months on end, this year there’s nothing. So good job Nintendo, you’ve potentially botched the release for the next major entry in one of your biggest franchises. At least it’s still Pokemon, imagine if they did something horrible to a franchise like, I dunno, Pikmin. Did you know a Pikmin game released on 3DS this year? Yeah, neither did anyone else.
Sources: Kotaku, Nintendo Everything, Forbes, Business Wire
Images: Kotaku, YouTube, Twitter
(11/05/17 6:08pm)
Nintendo recently announced that Pokemon Ultra Sun and Moon would have a villain team composed of villains from every (mainline) game from the past 20 years. What?! Is that even legal? All of the most dastardly Pokemon meanies team up to destroy Alola or the gap between dimensions and parallel universes or something; I lost track of the plot after Alpha Sapphire’s post game. This means that not only do we get to see some favorites like Archie and Maxie again, but also Cyrus, Ghetsis, Lysandre, and Giovanni. Also the Aether Foundation from Pokemon Sun and Moon I guess, but who cares about that? This means whole new encounters with fan favorites along with remixes of amazing songs for their new battles. The question we all ask now is, who’s the best villain? Which ones were the most effective, most devious, or most memorable villain of the bunch? Well, I’m going to go through and give a short rundown on what each villain accomplished or failed to accomplish in their respective game. There will probably be a few lore errors, and if you have a problem you can email me at this webzone rethinkyourobsession@getsomehelp.com; I’ll even give you a pizza roll. Only one though.
(11/05/17 9:00am)
by Tanner Kinney
Nintendo recently announced that Pokemon Ultra Sun and Moon would have a villain team composed of villains from every (mainline) game from the past 20 years. What?! Is that even legal? All of the most dastardly Pokemon meanies team up to destroy Alola or the gap between dimensions and parallel universes or something; I lost track of the plot after Alpha Sapphire’s post game. This means that not only do we get to see some favorites like Archie and Maxie again, but also Cyrus, Ghetsis, Lysandre, and Giovanni. Also the Aether Foundation from Pokemon Sun and Moon I guess, but who cares about that? This means whole new encounters with fan favorites along with remixes of amazing songs for their new battles. The question we all ask now is, who’s the best villain? Which ones were the most effective, most devious, or most memorable villain of the bunch? Well, I’m going to go through and give a short rundown on what each villain accomplished or failed to accomplish in their respective game. There will probably be a few lore errors, and if you have a problem you can email me at this webzone rethinkyourobsession@getsomehelp.com; I’ll even give you a pizza roll. Only one though.
Team Rocket’s Giovanni
The original gangster, or mobster in his case, Giovanni did surprisingly little in his first appearance in Red and Blue. He battles you a few times, and after you beat him he just kinda disappears. Team Rocket’s goal is simple, they want to steal pokemon. For what end? I dunno; sell them on the black market, I guess. The anime did a much better job at characterizing Giovanni and made his goals much clearer. He wants to control Mewtwo so he can an ultra-powerful pokemon that no one would be able to defeat, which is why he ordered the creation of Mewtwo in the first place, a being as powerful as the mythical Mew. Giovanni in the games, however, just kinda stands there. He did send you through spinning tile puzzle Hell though, which makes him a truly evil mastermind. What will he do as leader of Team Rainbow Rocket? Probably about the same thing he usually does, stand there and monologue. One thing is for certain though, Giovanni definitely isn’t winning any “Dad of the Year” awards, as per usual.
Team Aqua’s Archie
Archie was easily the more likable of the two villains from Gen 3, because who doesn’t like pirates or beards? His personality was also great and is even better in Alpha Sapphire. He’s bold, buff, hearty, and is a great leader for his team. His plan is also the less dumb one of two, though still very dumb. He wants to expand the oceans so water pokemon can prosper, because the oceans aren’t big enough. Anyone who’s played Ruby and Sapphire knows this is factually incorrect, as it feels like most of Hoenn is water. Some would argue that there is, in fact, 7.8/10 too much water in Hoenn. So he makes it rain, but Kyogre is a big ancient stone whale who don’t take orders from no one. It’s good to note that Archie in Ultra Sun and Moon has the original design from the Gameboy Advance games, rather than his redesign in the remakes. What does this mean? Well, that’s a great question, but first we need to talk about parallel universes.
Team Magma’s Maxie
Maxie is a smart guy with conviction and facts behind what he’s doing. He’s definitely the smarter of the two, at least in general terms. Maxie could probably beat Archie in a spelling bee. Maxie was also always the good of the two for me, considering I played Pokemon Sapphire as a kid. His plan is actually the dumbest plan in all of Pokemon, including the teams in the spin-off games, including Team Snagem’s non-plan of “steal pokemon because we want friends”. He wants to expand the land for the land pokemon. How does he go about this? Well, obviously you intensify the sun to dry up the oceans. What do you mean “water cycle?” This plan is mathematically perfect! You can argue that Groudon could control the weather to prevent rain from happening, but inevitably rain has to fall. Maxie’s plan failed before you even interfered with it. He has his old design, similarly to Archie, which probably doesn’t actually mean much in the long run.
Team Galactic’s Cyrus
Cyrus is probably my favorite villain from the mainline Pokemon games. He’s just so fantastic. He’s intimidating, cold, calculated but still a great public speaker and leader. There’s a reason he has so many devout followers within Team Galactic. Hell, I’d join Team Galactic if I had the choice. He doesn’t talk down to you like a child, at least for the most part; he talks to you as if you were another person. His plan is the most convoluted of any Pokemon villain and weirdly enough the most successful. He wants to summon Dialga and Palkia by using the captured Lake Guardians. He then wants to control Dialga and Palkia so he can literally reshape reality and make him the god of the new world. How freaking cool is that? If you played Pokemon Platinum, you also know he basically would’ve succeeded if not for interference from Giratina. His battle theme is also easily my favorite of any villain leader minus Colress, who isn’t technically Team Plasma’s leader in Pokemon Black and White 2. If anyone should be interesting to see interpreted in Ultra Sun and Moon, it’s Cyrus.
Team Plasma’s Ghetsis
I never liked Ghetsis much. I know people thought he was deep, manipulative, intimidating, and complex, but to me he always seemed very one-dimensional. N was a much, much better villain with a significantly better battle theme. On the surface, he tells N and the world that Team Plasma is only about freeing pokemon from their owners. That’s an interesting idea, right? The ethics of Pokemon is a really interesting topic to discuss with the zero friends you have, because you are concerned about the ethics of Pokemon. Ghetsis, however, is a big meanie, liar-face who just wants to use the legendary pokemon to have ultimate power. Surprise! Both games he’s actually relatively successful though, getting his message across to the people in Black and White then legit ice-nuking Unova in Black 2 and White 2. He 100% also tries to murder your character in Black 2 and White 2, which shows how little remorse he has. He’s cold-blooded and evil, but that’s where it stops. What will he do as a member of Rainbow Rocket? Hopefully try to murder the protagonist again, because that’s what he does best.
Team Flare’s Lysandre
Lysandre is my favorite non-surprise villain twist in all of video games. What a shock that this man with ridiculous hair talking about wiping mankind off the face of the planet is evil! Who’d of thunk it? Lysandre is big, has an honest and good heart, and is a man of great fashion sense. Team Flare has some of my favorite villain designs second only to Team Skull, and Lysandre rocks his outfit. It’s a shame his battle theme is just a remix of the normal Team Flare battle theme. Lysandre is probably the least effective villain in all of Pokemon history, considering his plan never even gets close to succeeding. His giant space laser just kind of breaks after you catch the legendary powering it, and he dies. He is probably one of the first major villains who has a death in-game, though maybe he got out. How else would he be in Rainbow Rocket? To be honest though, like most of Pokemon X and Y, Lysandre is just a little underwhelming as a villain. Maybe they’ll improve him in Ultra Sun and Moon? I honestly doubt it, but at least he’ll look good while doing nothing.
Aether Foundation Faba
Who? The short guy? The guy who gets mocked and ridiculed by freaking Hau of all poeple? Nah mate, he’s not gonna be doing anything worthwhile. He wasn’t even the leader of the Aether Foundation, the much more interesting and cool Lusamine, but it’s speculated she’s going to be helping the protagonists rather than hurting them. I didn’t remember he even existed until writing this, and I played Sun and Moon again fairly recently. You know who could’ve taken his place? MASTER GREEVIL! Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness was such a fantastic game, and Master Greevil was a great villain who definitely wasn’t suspicious the first time you met him. He did turn over a new leaf at the end of the game though, so maybe he’s just not evil enough. Or, I dunno, MIROR B! The man with the best battle theme in Pokemon history from Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness, beating out HIMSELF from Pokemon Colosseum. Miror B and his afro deserve to return in another Pokemon game, though Nintendo doesn’t like talking about the Gamecube Pokemon games. Probably because nothing on the Gamecube sold well other than Melee.
Will this nostalgia-fest of a villain team actually be effective? Will any of the villains have personality traits outside of one that extends to their whole character? And where the hell is Team Cypher or Team Snagem in all of this mess? The answer to all of those questions is probably a series of shrugs and then back flips to make you forget you asked the questions in the first place. I’m just hoping Ultra Sun and Moon will be worth the money I’m paying for another Pokemon game not even a year after the previous one. How can Nintendo keep getting away with this? They have all my money anyways. Please Nintendo, leave my wallet alone! It’s so empty and fragile.
Sources: Kotaku, YouTube
Images: YouTube, Bulbapedia, Kotaku
(10/31/17 3:00pm)
Gaming is a business that is designed to make money. It’s hard to remember that when you’re out having fun skewering Orcs in Middle-Earth, force choking people as Darth Vader or doing high-octane racing but the games industry needs to make money. This is great, capitalism is great, and developers should be rewarded for their efforts. Games have changed though. It’s no longer about putting out content worth giving hard earned dosh for in high quality DLC quests, maps or characters. It’s about siphoning the customer for as much as possible while exerting as little effort as possible. Thus, from the dredges of the mobile market comes the triple A publisher’s new get-rich-quick scheme: the lootbox.
(10/31/17 2:34pm)
Around five years ago, when I was a fresh teenager, I frequently watched College Humor videos. I was a big fan and enjoyed a lot of their content even though I probably shouldn’t have been watching it. One video I remember is their mock trailer for a gritty Dora the Explorer movie. It was funny and relevant because it was a parody of how many shows were getting unnecessary dark reboots or remakes. College Humor took it to the extreme, doing it for a beloved children’s show. It was ridiculous and entirely accurate. Honestly, what studio would be dumb enough to do a dark, edgy, live-action Dora the Explorer film?
(10/30/17 5:23pm)
You've probably celebrated the spooky season this month by binging the best of what horror has to offer. Sometimes the best is of the campiest sort like the "Scream" franchise or the nostalgic like "Nightmare Before Christmas" or "Hocus Pocus." No matter what you watch, chances are it's not your first time seeing it. Behind all the familiar names, we found some hidden gems of horror, suspense and thrills that you probably have never heard of. Here's one of our hipster picks of Halloween:
(10/27/17 8:33pm)
by Tanner Kinney
Gaming is a business that is designed to make money. It’s hard to remember that when you’re out having fun skewering Orcs in Middle-Earth, force choking people as Darth Vader or doing high-octane racing but the games industry needs to make money. This is great, capitalism is great, and developers should be rewarded for their efforts. Games have changed though. It’s no longer about putting out content worth giving hard earned dosh for in high quality DLC quests, maps or characters. It’s about siphoning the customer for as much as possible while exerting as little effort as possible. Thus, from the dredges of the mobile market comes the triple A publisher’s new get-rich-quick scheme: the lootbox.
For those who don’t know, the lootbox is a digital box with randomly selected items that can be used in the game. This can be as simple as a new voice line to a whole new character in some games and the value of what’s in the box can fluctuate wildly. It’s sort of like getting a box of chocolates. Except, in the case of the lootbox, this box of chocolates could contain the most decadent Belgian chocolate you’ve ever had in your entire life or it could contain a fun-size Snickers. And the box cost you five dollars. And the chance of getting the Belgian chocolate is roughly 3% but you aren't told that. Now, assuming there’s a Belgian chocolate in the box, that’s a huge steal. The value of the box was well worth it. If you were to get the fun-size Snickers though, you would feel cheated. I certainly would, at least give me a king size Snickers or a packet of Rolos, not this. That’s the lootbox and if that sounds like gambling and something questionable to you, then you are officially more in touch with things than the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB).
It’s hard to really tell where the lootbox started popping up in triple A games. Earliest reports of it I’ve found have been in Mass Effect 3 multiplayer, where the store had packs that gave you randomly selected characters and/or weapons of random quality for upwards of three dollars. The business model has shown up in other games since then but stuck mainly to mobile titles or free-to-play games where it belongs. Of course, when something starts to turn a huge profit, the greedy game publishers can’t help but to put these things in their 40 to 60 dollar games. The biggest, most popular case of this was Blizzard’s Overwatch, who’s lootboxes have turned into both a meme for how bad people’s luck was and a sign for other publishers that people will eat it up. They also realized these people will then vehemently defend it in online forums when people justifiably question why you can’t just straight up purchase what you want directly, instead having to HIT THE LEVER and hope that you get Witch Mercy during the one month it’s available. But hey, at least you got the Happy Halloween D.Va voice line and green recolor Hanzo! Again. Guess you either gotta play a bunch of matches or fork over more cash to try again!
Overwatch isn’t the worst offender though. Technically, you can obtain everything without having to pay a dime. You can use the coins you can ONLY obtain from playing and from lootboxes to buy a specific skin. Nothing that costs real money is game-changing, just cosmetic. Also, Overwatch is only $40 (as if that makes a difference). These are the arguments the community makes to defend their gambling habits like a chain-smoker on the slots at a casino saying they can quit whenever they want and they’re gonna win big eventually.
https://twitter.com/reaperoween/status/923376294821117952
The real problem examples come from the real heavy hitters in the triple A industry. Forza 7 had features that were previously part of the series gutted and put into “prize crates.” Features like racing at night and challenge modes are put behind a paywall that Turn 10 stated would become part of the game. Destiny 2 has powerful weapons hidden inside of lootboxes you can either earn in game or, more easily, fork over cash for. WWE 2K18 will have loot crates that are slated to only be purchasable in-game, and I’m sure the pristine peaches at 2K Games would never go back on their word because of how trustworthy they are. All of these games cost 60 dollars (or more in the case of Destiny 2 which will have expansion packs). Whether it was unlocked through cheat codes or in-game feats, the content in these crates used to be a part of the game. Gone are those days. We now live in the era of the lootbox.
https://twitter.com/CaseyExplosion/status/906149184067166208
But wait, there’s more! Middle-Earth: Shadow of War, the next game from WB Games is working the achieve a brand new low in the lootbox craze. The new feature allows you to open loot crates to get Orcs that are used in both multiplayer AND single player. Not so bad, it doesn’t seem like it’s required at first, just a quick way to gain power of other people or the AI if you like your games to be that easy. Do you want the true ending though? The ultimate final cutscene for all your efforts? Well guess what, you get to either grind or go to the slots to try and get legendary Orcs and gear. Sure, you can get them in game if you are lucky but that’s a long grind to get enough to get the best ending. Don’t even get me started on Star Wars Battlefront 2’s Star Cards, which are somehow worse than all of my previous examples by being truly pay-to-win. Since the game is still about a month away, this system could could be changed before it launches. Let's hope that's the case because the last thing 60 dollar games need to have is another micro-paywall behind the initial paywall so you don’t fall behind in a multiplayer game.
With how awful and manipulative these glorified digital slots can be, the debate now is over whether lootboxes are actually gambling and should be regulated. The answer? They kind of already are. At least in Asian countries, due to stricter gambling laws, games with similar lootbox systems (called “gacha” games after the popular gachapon toys) are mandated to provide statistical odds on what the player can get. If you’ve played Fire Emblem Heroes, you’ve probably noticed this with the best units given a 3% drop chance. Fair enough, at least you have some idea what the odds are. It doesn’t do away with the gambling but it’s regulated as such. This is not the case in the west. It might even be worse in some respects like during the CS:GO gambling controversy where actual children were targeted by real gambling websites. The battle already seems lost here especially since the ESRB has officially declared that lootboxes are not gambling.
These virtual items do not have real world value so you cannot gamble for them (which means the $100 CS:GO knives are bought with fake money then, I assume). Of course, the ESRB is funded by publishers and having to disclose blatantly anti-consumer business practices would just be a shame for the poor multi-billion dollar corporations to have to do. They might lose sales! How will they ever go on? Right, because I’m supposed to feel sorry for the publishers who’ve been carving up games for the past 10 years.
The only part that really concerns me is giving control over to the government or some third party to start regulating games. Regulating the content of games should not happen and I’m afraid of giving them an inch. After all the battles the gaming community have fought for Grand Theft Auto or Mortal Kombat, we shouldn’t be so quick to give up control of our medium. One part of me sees the obviously greed-fueled lootboxes and wants something to be done about it but the other part of me is afraid to let anyone touch the gaming industry we know and, well, maybe not love but sorta kinda like.
Now, you may be asking, “Why bother complaining about it? There’s nothing we can do to stop publishers from doing it. All you’re doing is screeching into an echo chamber.” You know what? Maybe you’re right. I’ve seen 10-20 different threads online about this topic. All of them say the same thing and the discussion goes nowhere. Is there anything we can do to prevent games from getting progressively more and more anti-consumer? Well, not buying into games that have these scummy systems or at the very least not buying the lootboxes is a start. Getting awareness out about games that attempt this is another way, something review aggregate OpenCritic is attempting.
https://twitter.com/mrfeelswildride/status/918325121109999618
Finally, I would say giving praise to good games from big publishers that don’t resort to a lootbox scheme is a way to discourage publishers from continuing this predatory trend. Publishers may not care, they may keep going like with season passes and microtransactions but maybe, just maybe, the consumer will finally be able to stop them from playing with our hearts and wallets. Then Nintendo will acknowledge F-Zero, world peace will be declared and Capcom will finally announce a new Mega Man game! Call me cynical, but I’m not holding my breath. Horse armor was just 11 years ago, and things have only gotten worse. Let’s see how low we can go, shall we?
Sources: Kotaku, PC Gamer, IGN, OpenCritic
Images: Tanner Kinney, Twitter, YouTube
(10/27/17 3:37pm)
by Tanner Kinney
Around five years ago, when I was a fresh teenager, I frequently watched College Humor videos. I was a big fan and enjoyed a lot of their content even though I probably shouldn’t have been watching it. One video I remember is their mock trailer for a gritty Dora the Explorer movie. It was funny and relevant because it was a parody of how many shows were getting unnecessary dark reboots or remakes. College Humor took it to the extreme, doing it for a beloved children’s show. It was ridiculous and entirely accurate. Honestly, what studio would be dumb enough to do a dark, edgy, live-action Dora the Explorer film?
The answer to that question is apparently Paramount because it has been confirmed that we are being blessed with a live-action Dora the Explorer movie produced by Michael Bay. The Transformers director. If there wasn’t enough proof that we are indeed in the dumbest timeline, here’s some more trash on the landfill. Congratulations, Hollywood! You’ve green-lit an idea so dumb there was a literal parody of your bad decisions.
This film will probably be more in line with Bay’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, considering it’ll more than likely be a Paramount/Nickelodeon joint picture. The writer, Nick Stroller, wrote the Captain Underpants movie which wasn’t bad so there’s a good chance it won't be be completely edgy and littered with sexual innuendo. It might even be good. What’ll really decide the quality of the film is casting. As there’s no cast announced at the time of writing, I’ve consulted a team of experts to concoct the perfect casting destined to give this film a stunning 33% on Rotten Tomatoes. If any of these are correct, I demand payment from Bay himself.
Selena Gomez as Dora the Explorer
When casting a hack Hollywood film, acting does not matter. What matters is marketability. Dora, being a teenager in this film, has to look young but child actors have no name recognition and, therefore, no money. So, who’s popular, young, and vaguely Hispanic? Selena Gomez, star of Wizards of Waverly Place and the truly awful Getaway. In my opinion, she has very little talent but has the small chance of putting in a passable performance. Plus, kids love her shows and music so they’ll be more inclined to see her in the film. Second option would be Megan Fox, but she might be a little too old and sexual for the role. Not that it would stop Michael Bay.
Rico Rodriguez as Diego
Every Michael Bay film has a wacky, fat sidekick. Now, one would assume that Diego would be fit because he’s an animal rescuer and that’s a correct preconception but there's one problem: that’s too normal for Hollywood. So imagine: what if Diego let himself go while living in the city? Enter Rico Rodriguez. He fills the role of the fat sidekick that can be used for the inevitable slapstick! I can imagine it now: Diego heroically tries to swing on a vine, but the vine breaks under his weight and he falls down. I can already hear the children screeching in the theater as their parents debate just leaving them there forever. Plus, Rodriguez is a main character in Modern Family, one of the most popular sitcoms of the past decade. He doesn’t have a lot of Hollywood movie clout behind him but he is still pretty marketable. He might also be funny in the role, but that could be dangerously close to being too good for this film.
T.J. Miller as Boots
Boots is the dumb comic relief in the TV show. He makes mistakes all the time, and loves wacky antics. Assuming Boots is a CGI character (which he probably will be), he’ll need a voice actor that can convey the wackiness of Boots. We also need someone willing to sell out hard enough to be a cartoon monkey in Michael Bay’s Dora the Explorer. The obvious choice is T.J. Miller. The guy is genuinely funny, and has a decent history of voice acting. Plus, he’s been in enough films to be a recognizable name, especially after his role as Weasel in Deadpool. He also played Gene in The Emoji Movie which shows there’s no depths he won’t sink to for a paycheck. A second option is Shia LaBeouf, assuming he’s still alive.. You could call him Shia LaBoots and he could be the companion to the Megan Fox Dora. If, by some miracle, Boots isn’t a CGI character, Charlie Day could play a good, high energy Boots.
Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart as Map and Backpack
Map and Backpack are a duo and need to have two people who have good chemistry together and are an incredibly marketable duo. There’s no other option besides Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart who are both incredibly popular right now. I can think of three or four movies in the past year that have had the two together. Assuming the two are CGI characters, the physical contrast isn’t there but I could still see it working. By working I of course mean making money. This is assuming they don’t just make Map a phone app or something which is incredibly likely and means more product placement for the executives to shove in.
Michael Keaton as Swiper
Swiper is a hard one to cast. Michael Bay films typically cast an old guy to be a man in a suit or a giant robot to be the antagonist. Since this isn’t really Swiper, I could see them doing an old, jaded depiction who’s claimed to have renounced his evil ways. In reality, he comes up with a scheme to swipe the stuff of everyone in the city at once using some kind of space laser. So, who hasn’t Michael Bay already used as a villain in his films while also being in an upswing in popularity? Michael Keaton, who was the Vulture in Spider-Man: Homecoming and has a major role in 2019’s live-action Dumbo remake. He’s a big name again and already played a great villain so he could easily be front poster material. Second option is Hugo Weaving, the voice of Megatron from Transformers but if he takes another Michael Bay role I feel he’s truly given up.
John Cena as Benny the Bull
The side characters have to be marketable, whether they are actors or not. Who could be Benny, the brutish but sweet blue bull? John Cena, of course! The man is made of pure charisma and is willing to stoop to any low and be any character if the money is good. He will put his heart into it at the very least. Another choice is Saturday Night Live’s Bobby Moynihan, who would be good for a more comedy-oriented Benny, but he’s much less of a household name than Cena.
Ariana Grande as Izzy the Iguana
A true Michael Bay film has a celebrity that is given not just a cameo but a significant role. Generally, this is a pop singer like Rihanna in Battleship (which wasn’t actually a Michael Bay film but had the heart of one). Ariana Grande has already worked with Nickelodeon, so she can fit the bill for non-actor pop star. Acting quality? Not important, we need kids to buy tickets!
Gabriel Iglesias/Sofia Vergara as Tico the Squirrel
I originally had Sofia Vergara as Tico but then remember that Tico is a he and not a she. I’m sure that doesn’t actually matter to Hollywood so Vergara could still be a convincing Tico and, more importantly, a very marketable name. If we want to stay true to the source material, bring back Gabriel Iglesias to be Tico. Is he still relevant? Probably not but he is cheap and a recognized name. I guess you could have George Lopez as well but he hasn’t been relevant since Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3.
This should be all the major characters; other characters are irrelevant and can be extras who couldn’t get into the actual movies.
Note: these casting decisions are not real, and should never be real. This movie should also not be real but it is so we're just going with it. Also, judging by the word count, I probably put more thought into this than Hollywood did. So go out and see Dora the Explorer in theaters 2019, probably in January because that’s when studios dump their garbage which this film inevitably will be.
Sources: College Humor, The Hollywood Reporter
Graphics: Clayton Mercer
(10/17/17 3:29pm)
You've probably celebrated the spooky season this month by binging the best of what horror has to offer. Sometimes the best is of the campiest sort like the Scream franchise or the nostalgic like Nightmare Before Christmas or Hocus Pocus. No matter what you watch, chances are it's not your first time seeing it. Behind all the familiar names, we found some hidden gems of horror, suspense, and thrills that you probably have never heard of. Here's one of our hipster picks of Halloween:
by Tanner Kinney
It’s October! The scary month, the one where cosplay becomes socially acceptable and the best worst horror schlock drops in theaters. Now, I’ve never personally bought into the Halloween hype, but I love seeing people get all excited about it. I also love friendly skeletons, which are everywhere during the spoopy season. I also have friends who get really excited about Halloween, particularly about watching scary movies during the month. Back in high school, scary movie marathons were commonplace, and we’d meet up and just decide on a horror movie to watch on Netflix. Some were foreign films I didn’t understand, or horrible films like #Horror, which is a new low for films even counting those on Netflix, which for reference has all of the Sharknado films. There was one movie that stood out to me, one that turned my group of snarky wannabe film students into a completely silent, jaws on the floor, captivated audience. This film is The Invitation, the best indie thriller that you might not have seen.
Now, if you did research on The Invitation, the people behind it don’t exactly create a promising picture. Along with The Invitation, director Karyn Kusama also directed such classic films as Jennifer’s Body, and the true terror that is the live-action adaptation of Aeon Flux. In fact, the directing AND writing team is exactly the same as the team from Aeon Flux, which is truly horrifying now that I’ve learned that. The actors are also names no one would recognize off-hand that starred in roles no one would actually remember. The screenshots don’t really create intrigue either. Even just watching the opening few minutes it’s hard to see why this movie is so highly rated on Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic. It seems like just another movie under the horror tag on Netflix, something to pass over. But hooooo boy, you’d be missing out if you did that.
Just from the trailer you can get a fantastic idea about how the movie is without really spoiling any of it for yourself. The movie is about the protagonist and his girlfriend going to a dinner party being held by the protagonist’s ex-wife. This lavish get-together is happening up in the Hollywood Hills, so you have the elaborate decor and general eccentric attitude of a reunion between long time friends up in a posh setting to create contrast with the uneasiness of it all. There’s something clearly suspicious about this gathering, and the main character tries to put the pieces together while also coming to terms with guilt from his past. The film does a great job setting up the mystery, with plenty of clues to lead the audience in the right direction while not just spelling out what’s going on in bright neon letters. There’s genuine mystery in this film, and while that could be a byproduct of my friends and I not giving the movie our full attention during the build up, once it all was revealed we were completely floored.
The Invitation is not a movie that works on the audience’s time. It works on its own time, and allows itself to build up tension just long enough to where the audience starts to wonder if anything really is going on. This build up is probably the point in the film where normal audiences will turn it off and just say “nah screw it let’s watch Yoga Hosers, that movie DEFINITELY doesn’t look like complete trash!” DO NOT DO THAT! The payoff for the build up is entirely worth the wait, and once everything inevitably goes to hell at this lovely dinner party the movie just goes into the highest heights a thriller like this can achieve. I’m not joking when I said that my friends and I were almost completely silent throughout the final act of the movie, and we snark through anything. Hell, we snarked in the theater watching Lights Out, making what is genuinely a fantastic movie into a complete joke for ourselves. I’m especially a culprit of talking during films because I’m that guy, a complete degenerate. The Invitation shut me up. That’s how good it was. Once the movie finally ends and the true scale of what’s going on is revealed, it leaves you with a mixed feeling of both hope and despair that’s rarely seen in horror thrillers like this.
If you’re looking for a horror film to give you cheap jump scares and not much substance, you probably already turned off The Invitation within the early moments of the first act. This film is not going to make you scream with your friends and then laugh about it the next day because “OH MY GAWD DID YOU SEE THAT *insert name here* WET THEMSELVES AHAHA.” This film is going to sit you down and make you reconsider everything you know and love. The fact that the film still stands out in my mind through all the junk and trash I’ve seen in the past few years is truly a testament to how good it is. If you’re looking for a horror film that won’t necessarily scare you, but make you feel despair throughout your whole body, The Invitation is right up your alley. In fact, even if you want cheap thrills, I highly recommend you give this film a try. It might give you an appreciation for a different kind of horror. Or, you know, you could watch Little Dead Rotting Hood, which I’m sure is just a fantastic film not made by hack frauds trying to make a quick buck. Don’t actually watch Little Dead Rotting Hood. Please. For all of us.
Sources: YouTube, IMDB, Amazon
Images: Drafthouse Films, IMDB
(10/12/17 10:48pm)
by Tanner Kinney
If there’s one thing millennials love, it’s remakes of things from their childhoods. From the iconic horror mini-series It to educational television like Bill Nye the Science Guy, if it came out during the 80’s or 90’s and had relative success, people want to see it again. It’s not a bad idea either; these shows or movies are often held back by the technology of the time. Using modern tech, they can be re-imagined the way they were intended. Educational shows also get the benefit of new discoveries that can be implemented into the remake. However, sometimes it can seem like there is no purpose for the remake. That’s where The Magic School Bus Rides Again falls; it’s a nice nostalgia trip but, other than that, there’s no real reason for it to exist.
Art direction that took a few wrong turns
From even the first moments, it’s obvious there’s something wrong with The Magic School Bus Rides Again. The theme song is exactly the same as the original and the scenes are almost identical to the original in structure but there’s something missing. That would be the art style. It’s hard to really describe what feels so wrong about it, but it immediately creates the feeling that this isn’t the same show. The art is uninspired and lazy. The original show was inexpensive and made for kids so there were plenty of animation mistakes but it had style and heart in it. This is possibly due to the original being hand-drawn. It’s not necessarily clean or shiny but it’s real. Just comparing the two openings, it’s clear that there was more effort put into the animation of the original. The bus moves like a character, bouncing around with weight to it. The original’s art style felt human.
The Magic School Bus Rides Again has this clean, computer generated aesthetic that looks no different than a show like Wild Kratts or other kid’s shows. Even when comparing it to other cartoons there’s nothing visually impressive to note. Shows like Adventure Time or Steven Universe have wonderful, unique art styles that make the shows interesting to watch for both kids and adults. Magic School Bus Rides Again, on the other hand, looks cheap by comparison. In the 13 episodes of the show, there wasn’t a single moment that stood out as something amazing. It all just blended together into a bland mush. Again, compare the openings. The remake’s is almost identical to the original but the animation just has no real weight or movement to it. It’s unsettling, and hurts the nostalgia value for the show. The closest the show gets to having the art do something interesting is during the comic book sequences in episode four. They could’ve done a much better job capturing the spirit of the original’s art while making its own art style.
Educational content that revs the show alive
It’s hard to really judge a kid’s show by the same standards as something meant to entertain an adult. Yes, The Magic School Bus Rides Again is a kid’s show even if it was marketed at millennials. That’s one thing the show does right: it maintains the educational style and value of the original. The content of the episodes (ignoring the animation) fits right along with the original series. Some episodes repeat concepts from the original, but there were things that were definitely new and wouldn’t have been considered important for kids to learn in the past. A major surprise was episode two’s focus on structural engineering, which is not something expected of a modern kid’s show. As a side note, it’s also admirable that the show completely avoids controversial or political subjects, sticking just to learning. Other reboots could learn a thing or two from this show. At the end of the day, kids would likely gain knowledge from watching this show.
One segment that never fails to ring true to the show's educational aspect is the closing segments with the classic Ms. Frizzle (voiced by Lily Tomlin, the original voice actress). These were in the originals as well, and served to clear up inconsistencies between reality and the cartoon world. The remake completely aces these segments, providing both knowledge and entertainment. It could be just because Lily Tomlin’s Ms. Frizzle is familiar, but that blast of nostalgia is a welcome addition to the end of every episode. Even if it’s hard to sit through the episode (sometimes it really is), the nostalgic light at the end of the tunnel makes it all worth it.
Entertainment value that sputters along
When a show like The Magic School Bus Ride Again wants to be “edutainment” , the overall enjoyment of the show is very important. This is the hardest part to really rate. The show is probably entertaining for children. Its writing is almost identical to the original, with some additions like selfies being added to keep up with the times. Fortunately, the kids aren’t saying things like “it’s lit” or “turn up” or whatever the youths these days say. It’s all very normal kid stuff with dialogue that’s written to create kids who are incredibly smart and dull. There are puns, jokes and visual gags that would probably make a kid laugh out loud. The original was also very plain like this with similar writing that was enjoyable for children.
The problem comes from identifying who The Magic School Bus Rides Again is for. If this show is supposed to be an entertaining nostalgia trip for a millennial, it falls short. Sure, the writing is identical and that deserves respect, but that doesn’t make it any more entertaining as a person who claims to be an adult but is really more of a man-child. The only episodes that provided entertainment value outside of nostalgic moments were episodes four and nine. For those who want the Magic School Bus experience that’s still entertaining for a millennial, those two would be the best ones to watch. The rest of it is just not funny aside from lines obviously directed at the adults watching, which can either make the viewer laugh or cringe. And no, self-referential humor does not save the show. It just serves as a reminder of how great things were back in the good ole days. Nostalgia alone cannot serve as the entertainment of a show.
Featured image from TechCrunch
(10/07/17 3:25am)
This review is based on the PC version of Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony and was conducted on a PC with an AMD Radeon HD 7500, i7, 8GBs of RAM.
(10/05/17 9:24pm)
by Tanner Kinney
This review is based on the PC version of Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony and was conducted on a PC with an AMD Radeon HD 7500, i7, 8GBs of RAM.
The visual novel genre is still somewhat of an anomaly for the Western gaming world. It used to be that these games would never even cross the pond aside from fan translations of the games. However, similar to how now-widely successful series like Fire Emblem and Shin Megami Tensei came to the states, more visual novels are making their appearance. This is definitely a good thing, as without visual novels we wouldn’t have Danganronpa, and without Danganronpa we wouldn’t have Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony, which is a must-play murder mystery visual novel.
A story that creates both despair and hope
Visual novels cannot succeed without a good story. Fortunately for Danganronpa V3, there’s no problem there. The story involves the protagonist, Kaede Akamatsu, waking up in an unfamiliar environment with no memory of who she is besides her name. In fact, every other one of the 15 students she meets can’t remember anything either, until a group of giants robots surround the cast and bless them with the memory of who they are. Now, with a name and an identity as the Ultimate Pianist, Kaede works with her newfound companion Shuichi Saihara to uncover the mysteries of the Ultimate Academy of Gifted Juveniles.
Eventually, the cast realizes they’ve been thrown into something more twisted than most of them can even imagine: the killing game. This killing game is, of course, run by the lovable psychopath mascot Monokuma, who wants to create despair among the students. With nowhere to run and a deadline approaching, Kaede and Shuichi must investigate everything they can to find the truth behind the killing game and end it before it can even begin. To the surprise of no one, they fail, and the killing game begins anew.
The story in Danganronpa V3 is easily just as good, if not better than previous games in the series. The mystery within this game is much stronger than previous entries, and there’s truly a lot to figure out within the world. Some of it can be figured out through context and putting pieces together, and some of it is spoonfed to the player by Monokuma and his adorable Monokubs. As the game progresses, more pieces of the puzzle are given to the cast so they can learn more about the past, but not enough to really understand the bigger picture. This lack of knowledge turns into motive, and motive turns into murder. It’s a twisted cycle, and one that should be experienced by anyone who loves a good murder mystery story.
The biggest strength of Danganronpa V3, and the series as a whole, comes from its ability to create likable, dynamic characters that make the murders that happen along the way that much more impactful. The game is designed for the player to talk with their fellow students, make friends, build true bonds, and then watch their friends kill or be killed. Almost every character in Danganronpa V3 is dynamic and human. Characters like Gonta: a gentle giant who wants to be a gentleman, and Kokichi: the human embodiment of chaos, make the game much more enjoyable, especially when there’s the threat of them dying at any time. A personal favorite character is Himiko Yumeno, a small magician- er, mage girl who starts off as a one-note joke character, but goes through a fantastic character arc and becomes a fully fleshed out character. There’s not a single character in this game that really ruins the experience with an obnoxious personality.
Gameplay that’s Ultimate status
Danganronpa V3’s actual gameplay loop has two parts, daily life and deadly life. Daily life involves the player investigating the Ultimate Academy, talking to their peers, building relationships, gambling for knick-knacks, and trying to solve the mystery of the world around them. Living a normal student life is key to really enjoying the game, especially when reality comes around and another murder occurs.
Which leads to the second part, deadly life. After a body is discovered, the player must cooperate with the other students, even the potential culprit, to discover the truth around each murder. Investigating the murders themselves is still the weakest point of the game. While there was an effort to be made to allow freedom in the investigation, it still results in the player being stuck in a room, inspecting every object you can, then moving onto the next room. It’s underwhelming, but finding clues is rarely going to solve the case on its own. It merely serves as a gateway to the best part of these games, the class trials.
The class trials are the core part of the killing game and Danganronpa V3. After a murder is committed and the investigation is done, the cast is brought to a trial where they must decide “whodunnit.” If the culprit, called the blackened, is decided on as the killer, only the blackened is punished. However, if the wrong person is voted to be the blackened, everyone else is executed and the blackened is free to leave the Ultimate Academy. The truth of the cases are uncovered through a series of non-stop debates, rebuttals, scrim debates, and wacky minigames that reveal who committed the murder and how they did it. Once the truth has been uncovered, the case is put back together in a comic style and then the vote is done.
The class trials in Danganronpa V3 are fantastic. For a comparison, it’s like high energy Ace Attorney, though with a lot more to it. Non-stop debates require the player to aim at their opponent’s argument and literally shoot it with a truth bullet. Truth rebuttals require cutting through the opposition’s words. The other minigames follow a similar pattern. Ones brought back from previous games are better than before, particularly with Hangman’s Gambit finally being not terrible.
New minigames are hit-or-miss though. On one hand, debate scrims are easily the best new thing they added, taking every good aspect of the series into one minigame that’s criminally underutilized. The new lying feature also adds a whole new dynamic to trials, and opens up a completely new way to conquer the trials, adding some replayability. On the other hand, Psyche Taxi and Mind Mine are dull, unexciting, and don’t do anything that a non-stop debate couldn’t. Psyche Taxi is especially not fun, as the driving controls are like M&M’s Shell Shocked on the PlayStation, and if that’s the level that’s being achieved, it’s time to reconsider the game mechanic. Despite those minor complaints, the gameplay and trials achieve even higher than previous games, with twists and turns that no one will expect.
Art and music perfectly mask and complement brutality
The Danganronpa series is well known for its style, and this game turns that up even higher than normal. The art in Danganronpa V3 is fantastic, especially for lovers of anime. Each character has a unique design to go along with their personality, and makes them that much more enjoyable. Characters like Angie are absolutely perfect because of the life given to her from the art style, which gives form to her weird eccentricity.
In terms of the look of the game itself, it’s easily the best in the series. The 3D world of the Ultimate Academy is very nice to look at, with plenty of visual flair in the school’s design. The 2D parts of the game are even better, with the art being more vibrant and interesting than previous entries. Class trials are given new visual overhauls, with every aspect of them given a new element to enhance the experience. Non-stop debates have especially improved, with text given much more animation and life. Other trial minigames also have a great style that more accurately fits the theme of the minigame, with Psyche Taxi being a favorite visually. Additionally, the game runs fantastically even on a PC that has some outdated hardware, so most systems should be able to run it. Overall, the art style perfectly compliments the genuine brutality of the scenario, along with looking great on its own.
Another aspect that’s just as good as the previous games is music. Danganronpa V3’s soundtrack reflects the themes of hope and despair within the game. Some tracks are really upbeat and cheerful, like the music the plays during free time. Other tracks are calming and hopeful but slightly unsettling, like the music that plays during the Closing Argument part of the class trials. There are so many different styles of music within the game as well, and composer Masafumi Takada is a master of making all of these different parts fit together as a whole soundtrack. Remixed versions of songs from previous games are even better than their older counterparts as well, which is an achievement considering how good the original songs were. The soundtrack is perfect to fit the different themes and craziness that make the game fantastic.
Featured image from Twinfinite
(10/03/17 12:00pm)
There’s something fascinating about shows, games, movies, or songs that manage to achieve the coveted title of “so bad, it’s good.” These masterful trainwrecks try to reach great heights, but through poor execution of every single aspect they crash back down to Earth. Classics such as Tommy Wiseau’s The Room find fame through infamy, and fanbases of ironic enjoyment are created around these genuinely bad pieces of media. Neo Yokio has been tagged with this banner of badness, and aside from some moments that are just terrible, it deserves it.
(10/01/17 5:56pm)
by Tanner Kinney
There’s something fascinating about shows, games, movies, or songs that manage to achieve the coveted title of “so bad, it’s good.” These masterful trainwrecks try to reach great heights, but through poor execution of every single aspect they crash back down to Earth. Classics such as Tommy Wiseau’s The Room find fame through infamy, and fanbases of ironic enjoyment are created around these genuinely bad pieces of media. Neo Yokio has been tagged with this banner of badness, and aside from some moments that are just terrible, it deserves it.
A narrative that wants to be Ralph Lauren, but is more Kmart
Neo Yokio revolves around Kaz Kaan (voiced by Jaden Smith), a member of Neo Yokio high society. He does everything a rich young person is expected to do. Kaz wears the freshest clothes, knows the coolest dudes, hangs out with the hottest babes, and purchases excessive amounts of Toblerone. Kaz discovers throughout the show that not everything in Neo Yokio is all it’s cracked up to be. On top of these problems Kaz has to contend with his duty as a Magistrocrat, a member of high society who hunts the demons prowling around Neo Yokio. The twist of it all is that the demons really haunting Neo Yokio aren’t the ones possessing school girls and crystal skulls, but the traditions and culture corrupting Neo Yokio high society itself.
Neo Yokio should be admired for its attempts to tackle such a difficult subject matter. Some of the most interesting aspects of the plot of the show revolve around how dumb and mundane the problems Kaz Kaan faces really are. The second episode has a major plot point of Kaz’s tux being the wrong color, and the third episode has the brave hero stopping evil villains from breaking the dress code at a prep school. The way the writers exaggerate these issues seems a bit ridiculous at first, but once the chips are down and Kaz learns the truth about Neo Yokio high society, it makes more sense. Now, whether these issues being exaggerated is intentional for the narrative or just because of bad writing is the real problem.
The biggest problem with Neo Yokio’s story comes from its lack of coherent structure. The show tries its darndest to maintain a cohesive narrative throughout the season, but fails miserably. The episodes don’t feel connected all that much, aside from one or two plot points carried over from a previous episode. The worst example of this is between episodes 4 and 5, where a cliffhanger ending in episode 4 is paid off with a jarring, unnecessary time skip. The episodes don’t flow together like an actual narrative, even though they desperately try to. The first episode also feels like it’s from a completely different show when compared to the rest of the season. The ideas are all there for a genuinely interesting story, but the show is missing too many pieces to be considered a complete picture.
The trendy style of perfectly bad writing and voice acting
The writing in Neo Yokio is the show’s best and worst part. It’s hard to describe just how bad the writing really is. It was so bad that it wasn’t clear if the writer was trying to intentionally write some of the most bizarrely terrible lines they could, or if there was an attempt at quality that just happened to fail horribly. It’s like the writers told modern day philosophy genius Jaden Smith to say the most profoundly dumb things he could think of, then constructed a show around those quotes. The first episode certainly feels like that, with such classic lines as: “who cares what time it is when the future is an interminable abyss of wackness?” Every character is given one note to play, and boy oh boy, do they play their notes with little to no development over the course of the series. Some lines are so bad and out of place it’s almost unbelievable - particularly ones that involve Kaz’s weird obsession with Toblerone. The number of shockingly bad lines is probably equal to the number of fashion designers Kaz talks about, and he talks about a lot of fashion designers.
The strangest part about the writing is that it works. All the dumb philosophy, hamfisted social commentary, and just straight up horrible lines are delivered so questionably that it ascends from awful to perfection. The stranger and more out-of-place the line is, the more laughter and enjoyment the show provides. There are some lines that are awkward enough to induce facepalms so hard the viewer’s cranium caves in, but there’s so much obvious heart and effort put into them that they make the viewer smile and go into slightly confused giggle-fits instead. The last episode is the only one in which there aren't enough funny bad lines and the writing’s truly terrible starts to show itself, but that’s only one out of six episodes.
Enhancing the writing is, of course, the stellar voice cast. Well, stellar in the same way a space-themed child’s bedroom is stellar. The voice work is just terrible. Aside from Aunt Agatha, there’s not a single side character that delivers their lines in a way anywhere close to good. The casting director either chose people with the worst accents at a comedy club on a Tuesday evening when only drunk people stumble in, or people with genuine accents that happen to sound like caricatures of real accents. Every time a new character with an even worse voice joined the show it just got better and better. The worst offender is Sailor Pellegrino, whose southern accent is like if nails on a chalkboard could have a southern drawl. The line reads were probably the biggest source of unintentional comedy in the whole show.
The crown jewel on the tinfoil trash crown is the lead, Jaden Smith. Smith is perfectly cast as Kaz Kaan, a rich kid who grew up insulated and naive to how society really works. Now, historically, mixing Jaden Smith and acting was akin to mixing gasoline and a flamethrower. Anyone who has seen After Earth has seen Jaden Smith in a leading role and will immediately assume the worst. Surprisingly, Smith honestly does a good job voicing Kaz. Only he could deliver lines like “my existential dread has been acting up today” so genuinely to that it doesn’t sound stupid and out-of-place. He’s also one of the few voice actors that actually improves throughout the duration of the show. Given some more time, he might actually become a pretty good voice actor. For the time being though, he’s only good because everyone else is so, so bad.
Stylish art and strange music take second place in a beauty contest
The biggest shock of Neo Yokio is that the art style is actually pretty good. Western anime typically struggles from not being able to capture what makes actual Japanese anime visually impressive, and tends to just look like a cheap imitation. Neo Yokio doesn’t escape all of these problems, especially in the first episode, but overall it looks pretty good. Characters are all unique and well-designed (a couple personal favorites being Russian racecar driver Mila Malevich and the Remembrancer). There are also a couple of parts where Kaz is given a weird facial expression for comedic purposes, which is genuinely funny. Is it because the art is good in these cut-aways? Not really, but it’s still entertaining.
Animation itself, however, leaves a lot to be desired, especially lip movements that probably needed a few more eyeballs looking over them. Interestingly enough, despite the lip movements and small character movements being choppy and kind of terrible, the action animation is very fluid. The show specifically does chase scenes well, as shown in episodes 3 and 5. There are certainly better looking shows, but for a Western anime exclusive to Netflix, it’s way better than it has any right to be.
The sound work is probably the aspect of Neo Yokio that is the most back and forth between good and bad. The first episode has such ill-fitting music that it’s kind of hilarious, but as the show progresses the soundtrack improves overall. There are still some head-scratching music choices beyond the first episode, but it becomes more consistent and fitting. The best part about the sound work, however, are the random music stings that happen throughout the show. Aside from the writing, these music stings are the best worst part of the show. For example, almost every time the Remembrancer appears on-screen, he’s accompanied by a fantastic music sting. That’s probably the reason he is one of the best characters in the entire show, to be honest. The sound design just adds to the charm of the show.
Featured image from Den of Geek
(09/28/17 4:09pm)
The internet is one of the most valuable, yet dangerous tools. It goes without saying that the internet can truly be magical sometimes. Where else can a person find detailed facts and backstories for random background characters in Star Wars? Or, I don’t know, a mod for Super Mario 64 where your head is a fidget spinner. The good stuff we all love. The internet also has the ability to be completely twisted and vengeful. When you piss off the internet, it’s not just like knocking down a hornet’s nest. It’s like knocking down a hornet’s nest that was secretly a giant mecha being piloted by hornets, and they’ve got their sights on you. This is especially true when dealing with particularly rabid sub-subcultures of the internet. For example, just look at PewDiePie fans.
(09/27/17 6:18pm)
by Tanner Kinney
The internet is one of the most valuable, yet dangerous tools. It goes without saying that the internet can truly be magical sometimes. Where else can a person find detailed facts and backstories for random background characters in Star Wars? Or, I don’t know, a mod for Super Mario 64 where your head is a fidget spinner. The good stuff we all love. The internet also has the ability to be completely twisted and vengeful. When you piss off the internet, it’s not just like knocking down a hornet’s nest. It’s like knocking down a hornet’s nest that was secretly a giant mecha being piloted by hornets, and they’ve got their sights on you. This is especially true when dealing with particularly rabid sub-subcultures of the internet. For example, just look at PewDiePie fans.
[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="1366"] Image from Kotaku Australia[/caption]
After a recent controversy involving PewDiePie saying the one racial slur you really shouldn’t say under any circumstance ever, Campo Santo, developer of Firewatch, issued a DMCA claim against the Youtuber’s videos of their game. In response, Pewds’s fans attacked Campo Santo on Twitter and in a place where they could really make an impact, on the reviews for their game Firewatch.
https://twitter.com/vanaman/status/906983575337107456
Negative reviews rained down on Firewatch, taking a game that was sitting at “very positive” since launch to a “mixed” within recent reviews. Many reviews mention this incident being their main reason for giving a thumbs down, which adds to the suspicion. There’s also been a few cases of users buying the game, reviewing it at 0.0 hours, then refunding it. The internet hate machine unleashed fire and fury on Campo Santo and with the way Steam reviews were set up there was no way to fight it.
The internet troll’s ultimate weapon
This is called “review bombing,” and is a problem that exists on many review aggregates, not just Steam. Any site that has the option to allow users to submit reviews could be bombarded with reviews from people who’ve never even touched the product. Some sites, like Amazon, have set up ways to scan through reviews and remove ones that were fraudulent or from people who weren’t verified purchasers. Other sites, like IMDB, really don’t care much about review bombing because critic reviews are so close by that the audience shouldn’t really worry about user reviews. Steam however, purely has reviews done by its users and Valve-approved curators, but the curation system is so underwhelming most people probably don’t even notice it. The question now is: how can Steam fight against review bombing when its system is setup to give the consumer all the power?
Well, Valve gave their answer. In a post on their community blog, UI developer Alden Kroll outlined their plan to allow people to see through the review bombs. What was their genius plan? Graphs, of course! Previously, you simply had the number of positive and negative reviews to go off of, along with a recent and all-time average. Now, users are given all the graphs they’d ever want to decipher what the reviews mean, along with a notification of suspicious activity within recent reviews. Below is an image of Firewatch’s current review page.
This graph essentially gives you all the information you’d need to determine what happened with the recent reviews. After that, it’s up to the user to determine why this review bombing happened and then make their purchase based on this new information. Alternatively, the user ignores the reviews and makes a horrible purchasing decision because they heard “it’s from the guy who made Mega Man!” Learn from my mighty mistakes, always do research before you buy a game.
Dr. Valvelove or: how I learned to stop worrying and love the review bomb
As a consumer advocate, I’m all for Valve’s decision here. Any time a consumer can get more information about a product before forking over their hard-earned shekels, the better it is for the games industry. Consumers deserve to know if a game is worth purchasing, and if they should support a developer who they may not agree with on a personal level. I also don’t think review bombing is necessarily a thing that should be removed completely. In the short term, it’s a tool of protest against developers who do scummy things post-launch after most reviews have already been submitted; like when ARK: Survival Evolved developer added an expansion pack for a game that wasn’t officially released yet to siphon more money out of consumers. It’s also a way for the playerbase to show their distaste for the direction a game is going in, like with We Happy Few after it was bought by the lying, greedy, slug-people at Gearbox Interactive just this past month, where it doubled in price and got a bunch of new, expensive DLC. Keeping review bombing, but also keeping it under control, is the best perfect balance to give the consumer as much power as possible in their purchasing decision, and that’s just lovely. Additionally, for developers and fans worried about reduced sales for review bombed games, Steam Spy reports that “there is no correlation between review bombing titles released a while ago and decline in sales.”
https://twitter.com/Steam_Spy/status/910258704875999232
Will Valve’s graphs put an end to review bombing? In all honesty, there’s about a zero percent chance of it stopping the internet from review bombing for reasons outside the game itself. The internet will be the internet; the wonderfully weird and kind of terrifying beast that it is. History shows that trying to prevent the internet from doing what it wants only ends up with your ugly pictures being plastered all over the place, just ask Beyonce. Valve’s approach to the problem is a solution that’s perfectly sensible and doesn’t treat the consumer like a complete idiot. Also, statistics are fun! If it’s one thing nerds love more than games, it’s graphs. Truly this solution is a win-win for everyone involved. Here’s my new favorite graph: the one that shows what happens when Gearbox steps in and ruins a genuinely promising early access game with triple-A shenanigans and a $150 collector’s edition for a game that’s not officially released. It’s fun for the whole family!
Sources: YouTube, Twitter, Steam's Community Blog, CinemaBlend, Polygon, PC Gamer, Buzzfeed
Images: Steam, Kotaku Australia
