THE DAILY SKEW SATIRE: Student believes Scramble Light button actually works

Danielle Grady is a junior journalism-news major and writes ‘The Daily Skew’ for the Daily News. She denies that her situations or sources have ever manifested themselves in the physical world, but if you see yourself in the characters- so be it (This does not apply public figures, student leaders or organizations). Write to Danielle at dagrady@bsu.edu.

One Ball State student swears that pushing the button near the Scramble Light cuts his wait time by half.

“Whenever I approach the Scramble Light and the red hand is showing, I always use the button,” said Stephen Irr, a sophomore chemistry major. “I like to think of it as a service to everyone else.”

Irr often follows his classmate, Kara Gold, from Spanish class in Burkhardt to the Atrium, where she usually lies about having to meet friends.

“I try not to say anything when he presses the button,” she said. “It usually means a break in whatever inane subject he’s talking to me about.”

So far, Gold hasn’t noticed any difference in the time she and Irr spend at the Scramble Light, but does confirm a marked increase in eye-rolls from peers.

Hailey Abbot, a junior French major who had been waiting at the light 30 seconds before Irr arrived, commented on his habit.

“Standing by the Scramble Light is bad enough in 10-degree weather, but now I have to listen to that annoying voice say, ‘Wait’ over and over,” she said. “And of course today’s the day I left my headphones at home.”

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