The Gaggle: Pineapple-beration
(04/09/21 10:00pm)
Ian Roesler is a senior creative writing major and writes “The Gaggle” for The Daily News. His views do not necessarily reflect those of the newspaper.
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Ian Roesler is a senior creative writing major and writes “The Gaggle” for The Daily News. His views do not necessarily reflect those of the newspaper.
Ian Roesler is a senior creative writing major and writes “The Gaggle” for The Daily News. His views do not necessarily agree with those of the newspaper.
Ian Roesler is a senior creative writing major and writes “The Gaggle” for The Daily News. His views do not necessarily agree with those of the newspaper. Write to Ian at icroesler@bsu.edu
by Ian Roesler The world’s greatest holiday is happening on April 11. It’s not Christmas. It’s not Thanksgiving. It’s International Louie Louie Day! A day celebrating one of the most influential and covered songs in history and of special note, “Louie, Louie” has an odd connection with Indiana. However, we’ve got some history to start with first.
The opinions and views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not reflect the opinion of Byte or Byte’s editorial board.
by Ian Roesler The opinions and views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not reflect the opinion of Byte or Byte's editorial board. Once again YouTube is in another fiasco. And once again it’s not a good one. YouTube is currently in its second Adpocalypse. What’s that you ask? It’s where advertisers pull their ads from YouTube on videos that they deem inappropriate, i.e. not family-friendly. They do this so a brand doesn’t get associated with something that could harm the business. The first Adpocalypse was in the summer of 2017 and concerned racist content as the website Wikitubia documents. The second Adpocalypse began in February when Matt Watson released a video about pedophiles on YouTube. Since then, he has released several more videos discussing the subject. In his initial video, he asked that companies remove their advertisements and thus the second Adpocalypse hath begun.
by Ian Roesler The opinions and views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not reflect the opinion of Byte or Byte's editorial board. Machinima was a company that specialized in video game related content entertainment. Let’s start with a brief overview before detailing the decline. Machinima first began in the distant past of January 2000. The name comes from a portmanteau of “machine” and “cinema.” They had a popular Youtube channel that they started in the early days of Youtube. Machinima was important because they helped to popularize video game entertainment that was beyond just playing video games. Many famous Youtubers worked for Machinima, such as Darksyde Phil and Maximilian Dood. In addition they also had their own original shows. I highly recommend Mortal Kombat: Legacy. Check it out on Steam. Machinima was not without its controversies, however. The biggest controversy concerning Machinima was regarding the contracts its creators were under. Some of the stipulations in the contract that creators signed was that Machinima held the rights to the videos that content creators uploaded for life. Also, in the contract was that they could advertise on videos, but the creators got a percentage of the profits. So, that kinda evens it out in a way. Sure, you don’t have ownership of the content you worked hard to create, but you get a percentage of the profits. Always read your contracts carefully, folks. [caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="1275"] Image from Imgur[/caption] Currently Machinima has 12 million subscribers and all of its videos set to private. They were acquired by Warner in 2016, and just recently Warner was acquired by AT&T. Technically, Machinima was acquired by Otter Media which is owned by AT&T. But back to Machinima, the reason why all their videos have been set to private is that they stated that new content will be put up on new channels instead. Machinima was on a decline when they were bought. Understandably, creators were not happy. All that content just gone. I don’t have much experience managing a billion-dollar company. Just recently they laid off 81 employees. The website is still up and you can still apply for a job. Some of the perks include dental and activities led by the “Fun Police.” The way that things are it remains to be seen what will ultimately become of Machinima. However, I do have some theories as to what may happen. The first theory is that Machinima may go the way of the dodo. For reasons that I will discuss later, I believe that this one is the least likely. I don’t see much recent evidence to support this, if this is the case however, they must be doing some hardcore trolling before the end. My next theory is closely related to the first. Machinima will still exist, however it’ll exist in a sort of limbo. It’ll stay in its current state, never being updated. It’ll be just there, existing like a houseplant in a corner. This is the case of another former Internet big name: StumbleUpon. Nowadays, their website redirects to Mix, which is a similar website. This one I feel has more of a possibility of happening. Maybe Machinima will be forgotten amidst all the other companies that AT&T own. Which is seven major ones at the moment. The third and final theory is that Machinima will be rebranded or relaunched. I believe this to be the most likely of my theories. The first evidence to support this is that Machinima has changed their logo from their familiar red to a new green logo. I find it unlikely that a company going out of business would make the effort to change a logo. Albeit, weirder things have happened. Another piece of evidence I would like to mention, or more accurately, re-mention is that their videos still exist in a way. They were set to private for a cost-cutting matter. I imagine that it’d be a lot cheaper to either delete the videos or the channel itself. Or leave them up and continue to collect ad revenue, but potentially continue to pay the creators. Another thing, their Twitter feed was still being updated. As of today their last tweet was three days ago, but it appears that their account was deleted between then and now. Prior to deletion they had tweeted random letters of the alphabet. Also, Rooster Teeth announced that they are going to relaunch some of Machinima’s shows. Rooster Teeth is an entertainment company in a similar vein to Machinima. And guess what? They’re owned by Otter Media as well. So it looks like Machinima will exist in some form or another for the time being.
The opinions and views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not reflect the opinion of Byte or Byte’s editorial board.
by Ian Roesler The opinions and views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not reflect the opinion of Byte or Byte's editorial board. Airing November 17, 1978, The Star Wars Holiday Special proudly joins the ranks of other beloved Thanksgiving movies such as…there was that one animated movie about time-traveling turkeys and there was…okay, so there’s not many Thanksgiving movies, but there are lots of Star Wars movies. Star Wars needs no introduction—the movies are beloved by many and all are immensely popular…except for one. Whichever one is the latest installment in the franchise. But what if, ladies and gentlemen, there was a movie so bad that the very creator of Star Wars, the man who said “Jar Jar is the key to all this,” disowned it. The Star Wars Holiday Special isn’t a movie. It’s an experience — an avant-garde masterpiece. The overarching story is about Chewbacca and Han going to Kashyyk to be with Chewie’s family to celebrate the Wookie holiday called Life Day. Everyone returned to reprise their roles from A New Hope, except for Kenny Baker (the original R2-D2,) who was replaced with a robot. This movie is a cluster of weird and awful ideas and circumstances. The movie primarily follows Chewbacca’s family as they await his arrival. They are a family of Wookies who are not given subtitles... and the first ten minutes are entirely focused on them. The idea of focusing on Chewie’s family without subtitles was George Lucas’ idea. Peppered throughout the special are various skits that range in levels of weirdness from oddball weird to serial killer weird. Of particular note, when Saun Dann, a merchant on Kashyyk, visits the family and gives everyone gifts. He gives Grandpa Wookie a super softcore porn tape that is very uncomfortable to watch and will stain your soul for an eternity. Producer Mitzie Welch has said that this sequence was intended to be a type of porn. Throughout the movie, there are also multiple song numbers, because Star Wars songs have always been known for their catchy lyrics. There’s one about last call at the Cantina in Mos Eiseley, Carrie Fisher singing about Life Day, and Jefferson Starship performs a song; which I guess kinda makes sense they have the word starship in the name and there are starships in Star Wars. The porn sequence also has singing as well. Cool? This holiday special is a product of its time. It features celebrities who were well known in the 70s and a progressive rock band. The technology in the original trilogy still looks good to this day, like something you could see in the near future. The special, however, is dated in its technological aspects. It turns out that Wookies live in huts modeled on the inside after houses in the 70s. This style includes televisions, furniture, and carpeting. The technology is very different than in the original trilogy. They used holograms in the original trilogy, but here they use TVs. A lot of the plot of this movie is spent watching wookies watch TV, which is regarded as the one and only good part of the special and is the animated segment about halfway through the film. The animation can be trippy at times, but you do get to see Boba Fett riding a space brontosaurus. Yeah, this is Boba Fett’s first-ever appearance. George Lucas famously said whilst at a convention “If I had the time and a sledgehammer, I would track down every copy of that show and smash it.” about this special. There wasn’t a lot of love or passion put into this film. Carrie Fisher was on another planet so to speak, Harrison Ford didn’t care, and Mark Hamill had been in a car accident before filming. None of the cast is fond of the special and they regret its existence. So, when it comes to watching a Thanksgiving movie just go with the time-traveling turkey movie. Now, when it comes to celebrating Life Day with your family I highly recommend this gem of avant-garde delight.
by Ian Roesler The opinions and views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not reflect the opinion of Byte or Byte's editorial board. I first found out about Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation when I saw a commercial for Starship Troopers 3: Marauder. You could buy all three movies in one case. Naturally I went out, bought it, and then watched it. The first one’s easily the best, but this about isn’t about the first one. Starship Troopers had a budget of $105,000,000 and was an action/adventure satirical movie. The second one came out seven years after the original with a budget of $7,000,000 and is a straight to DVD horror movie. It still continues the story of humanity fighting the Arachnids or “Bugs” as they are referred to throughout the series.
The opinions and views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not reflect the opinion of Byte or Byte’s editorial board.
by Ian Roesler The opinions and views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not reflect the opinion of Byte or Byte's editorial board. This article contains images some readers may find disturbing. Leatherface (2017), not to be confused with the early 90s film Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III, is a prequel to the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, this movie dealing with the origins of Leatherface.
The opinions and views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not reflect the opinion of Byte or Byte’s editorial board.
by Ian Roesler The opinions and views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not reflect the opinion of Byte or Byte’s editorial board. 4chan is one of the most ubiquitous websites on the internet. It is the stereotype of the internet. The most internet place on the internet. Take all the mundane parts, all the weird parts, all the racist, sexist, etc. parts, and put them all on one website and presto chango, you have 4chan. The website also shows what we as humanity can accomplish when we work together.
By Ian Roesler WARNING: Major spoilers ahead for Solo: A Star Wars Story The opinions and views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not reflect the opinion of Byte or Byte’s editorial board. Solo isn’t the worst Star Wars movie; that honor falls upon The Star Wars Holiday Special, which is easily the worst thing to happen in the last two centuries. So, this movie was a little controversial when it was announced. I wasn’t exactly looking forward to it. Regardless of how I initially felt I was planning on seeing it anyway. I’ve seen every movie up to this point, except the Holiday Special I and others felt that Han Solo is one of those characters that the less you know about him the better, like Boba Fett, who is also getting his own movie. The mystery is part of the appeal and Star Wars hasn’t had the best luck with prequels, but I thought this movie was good. Whereas the other movies would switch between a character or group of characters, such as in Empire it’ll flip between Luke on Dagobah and the others in Cloud City, this one is just Han Solo as the title would “exply” (a made-up word meaning the opposite of imply). It was more action and adventure-y than a standard Star Wars movie. It was constantly moving. The music was decent. John Powell did the music for this one. The action was great. I think there’s more positives than negatives. A big controversy about this movie was the cast. So, if you’ve been living under a rock you probably heard about the casting controversy. They replaced an actor of a major character. Say what you will but I thought Joonas Suotamo did a great job as Chewbacca and I think he did a great job as him in The Last Jedi. You can’t blame Peter Mayhew for stepping down from the role. Thankfully they got new actors to play the younger versions of Han and Lando, instead of CGI-ing his face onto another actor like they did with Grand Moff Tarkin. That was odd and a creepy to say the least. Back to Solo, Alden Ehrenreich did an excellent job as Han Solo which is no easy task, I’m so glad they didn’t cgi a young Harrison Ford on him. Emilia Clarke plays Qi’ra, who is Han’s love interest and eventually becomes a gang leader. Woody Harrelson plays Tobias Beckett, he gets Solo and Chewie into the smuggler lifestyle. And finally, there’s Donald Glover who plays Lando Calrissian. Lando is easily the best character in this movie. Donald Glover just oozes charisma in this role. Ray Park reprises his role as Darth Maul for a brief cameo towards the end. There’s also a robot that might grate some people, as she’s like the embodiment of a social justice warrior for droids. This movie is the first in the franchise to not feature C-3PO or R2D2 in any capacity. Although I think I might have seen R2D2 in a cameo. Maybe. There’s also a main villain. He’s okay. He has a scarred face and is in charge of a large criminal empire. A human Jabba basically. Then there’s the tribal guy who’s set up as a villain but is revealed to be a good guy. So, let’s examine what the film did well, not so well, some possible complaints that others may have, and how it compares to Rogue One.
Derek “Daddy Derek” Savage is an author and filmmaker most known for his kids’ safety public service announcement: Cool Cat Saves the Kids. Derek Savage’s masterpiece first became internet famous after Adum from Your Movie Sucks did a review of the film February 2015. The channel I Hate Everything (IHE) then did a review of the film, which prompted Derek Savage to take action to a level the depths of man could only dream of. And soon he’ll be directing his next film Cool Cat Stops a School Shooting. But first some information about the greatest filmmaker to ever live.
by Ian Roesler Derek “Daddy Derek” Savage is an author and filmmaker most known for his kids’ safety public service announcement: Cool Cat Saves the Kids. Derek Savage’s masterpiece first became internet famous after Adum from Your Movie Sucks did a review of the film February 2015. The channel I Hate Everything (IHE) then did a review of the film, which prompted Derek Savage to take action to a level the depths of man could only dream of. And soon he’ll be directing his next film Cool Cat Stops a School Shooting. But first some information about the greatest filmmaker to ever live. Derek Savage was born in Virginia on May 13, 1962. He currently lives in Las Vegas, Nevada. And yes ladies, he’s single. As previously mentioned he’s most known for his creation Cool Cat which he promotes as much as humanly possible, but he’s also the creator of Bible Birdie, Trolly the Trout, the film Gun Self-Defense for Ladies/Women, three novels, and a glorious website.
