I love Dan Savage.
If you're not familiar with Savage, he's an advice columnist who covers a wide range of relationship issues, usually ones that would make a dominatrix blush. He's a no-nonsense kinda person you couldn't take home to mom (those are often the best types though, right?).
What I like best about Savage is his ability to see an opportunity, strike while the iron's hot and then spread it all over the country. For example, Rick Santorum, a Republican senator from Pennsylvania, recently became victim of the latest in Savage's crusades via a search engine. But Santorum hasn't been the first.
By typing "miserable failure" into Google the first link to show up is President George W. Bush's biography from the White House homepage. The second link is Jimmy Carter's web site, followed by Michael Moore's and lastly Hillary Rodham Clinton.
Savage's followers did the same thing, only with Senator Santorum's name. With the manipulation of the search engine's software, Savage's site about Santorum is currently the third link. For those that are feeling curious and adventurous, type in "Santorum" into Google and scroll down a few sites. Please be aware, this is a non-work place, non-family and non-Rick Santorum-loving kind of site.
Yes Rick Santorum, you've been Google-bombed.
Because of my fascination and love for Savage, I thought It would only be appropriate to create a Ball State version of Savage's idea. So, in his honor, I've taken a few local references and attempted to create everyday definitions out of them. Feel free to cut out this article and place it next to your mirror, so in the morning you can practice using the words in your next conversation.
Boxed: Putting a lot of time and effort into something and not getting appropriately recognized for your efforts. Includes group projects, university presidents leaving tomorrow and current provost.
Reason: This term is in reference to a certain group of students that put on a certain event in October to raise money for the homeless and got smacked around by a certain student media outlet.
Example sentence: If teachers don't see pay raises soon, they'll feel as though they are getting boxed.
Werner-ized: Being taken advantage of for the gain of others. Includes group projects.
Reason: Picture this: You graduate from Ball State, donate money to the university, participate in many of the universities activities and even open your home to International students. Then, for the advancement of the university, have the Board of Trustees use eminent domain to take your house at 601 N. Calvert Ave. away for the purpose of a parking lot.
Example sentence: When searching for an internship, make sure it's paid so you don't get Werner-ized
Shafer: Having to re-do something. Includes group projects and large bell towers in the middle of avenues.
Reason: Upperclassmen and faculty remember when the "legs" of Shafer tower were tested for building strength and failed the test, causing for part of the tower to be rebuilt.
Example sentence: My English professor didn't appreciate my essay, so I have to Shafer it.
Write to Kevin at Twobsuguys@yahoo.com
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