Ahhh ... December ... the time of year when the people of thisgreat nation hold hands, join hearts and simultaneously gain 20pounds.
Unfortunately, Hoosiers will not join the group because theywill get their cars stuck in a snow bank.
But as a Michigander, I've seen all that can prevent a driverfrom getting from point A to point B. Deer constantly run amok,often into the paths of oncoming minivans; construction is ayear-round traffic treat, and our highways make Bethel Avenue looklike a bowling lane.
But if there's one thing that Michigan knows how to do, it'sclearing away snow and ice in an efficient manner -- a mannerIndiana could never comprehend.
I can still recall my first winter away from Hastings, Mich. Iwas surprised, naturally, because Muncie had gotten about seveninches of snow, not Michigan's standard four feet.
One morning, the plows were making paths for vehicles that wouldinevitably stray from them when I noticed that the plows werepushing the snow into a giant pile right in the middle of theintersection of Neely Avenue and McKinley Avenue.
Fortunately, Michigan has not adopted this strategy.
In the winter of '97, Michigan experienced the worst wintersince the winter before. I distinctively remember a report on WOODTV, the news station in Grand Rapids, featuring extensive filmfootage about how the road commissions were running out of placesto put the snow. Many of us had lost faith in global warming, andbecause we did not attend school for a week, the State Board ofEducation had to magically turn 10 of our school days intoemergency snow days.
Despite the trouble and strife, I do not recall the roadcommission getting together and saying, "Darn this snow! Let's justput it in the middle of the intersection! One, two, three ...break!"
Still, I guess I can forgive plowing snow into the middle of theintersection, but it is the lack of driver education in regards towinter weather that leaves me a little fearful for the future ofour country.
Michigan drivers are notorious for aggression and hostility.This is because of my mother. It is also because they are exposedto the worst weather conditions possible at every possibleopportunity. I have a strong hunch that Michigan is Mother Nature'sexperiment lab ("Say, I wonder what will happen if I mix rain, iceand the worst blizzard in forty years."). So, regardless of anyrage issues, Michigan drivers can, in most cases, attributeperceived insanity to experience.
As a born and bred Michigan driver, I can offer only a small bitof advice for the long winter treks home for the holidays:
-- Allow extra time (two days) to get home. This is especiallyhelpful if you are trying to get out of Muncie during finalsweek.
-- Constantly be aware of the vehicles around you. You neverknow when one of the drivers could be from Michigan.
-- Finally, when stopping at intersections, look both ways foroncoming traffic ... and straight ahead for piles of snow.
Write to Aleshia at aashaselden@bsu.edu
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