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| Allyn West is a junior journalism major and writes 'Charmingly Dishevelled' for the Daily News. His views do not necessarily agree with those of the newspaper. |
You could say I'm in a benevolent mood. Last week, I offered a comprehensive, exhaustive collector's list to help you achieve that elusive "rock geek" social status you've been desiring.
Now, I'd like to further contribute to your quest toward Abraham Maslow's idea of self-actualization by pushing you past the "belonging and love" stage and into rapture, or as some might call it, "a relationship."
Though dating may be absolutely pointless, without this expensive phenomenon, most relationships would never occur. Therefore, similar to explanations of the beginning of the universe, there must be a "first day," or, more relevant to our discussion, a "first date."
More than likely, you've found a way to blow a perfect opportunity at least once. You made the arrangements; you opened her car door. You walked on the correct side of your lady as you strolled down McKinley Avenue. Then, you spent your share of the dinner conversation ranting about your crazy, possessive, self-absorbed ex-girlfriend.
Ah, such a common pitfall. We see it entirely too often and each time, it gets more pathetic.
So, how can you, the inexperienced bachelor, avoid the mistakes and primarily keep her attention for an entire dinner-and-a-movie?
Jen Rees is a junior accounting major at Ball State and a girl. She is a long-time dater and agreed to impart pearls from her years of experience to those hapless, bumbling gentlemen who have yet to strum the right chord.
I approached her a few weeks ago and conducted an extensive interview I'd like to share with you. Follow closely, and feel free to photocopy it for your single friends.
AW: What kinds of things do girls really want, Jen?
JR: We want random acts of thoughtfulness, like a single flower on the first date. It doesn't have to be expensive, just something to let us know you're interested.
AW: What kinds of guys do girls like to date?
JR: Idiot, you can't answer that. All kinds of girls like to date all kinds of guys. Even the "I will never find someone" guys have someone waiting for them.
AW: Sorry.
JR: No, it's fine. I'm just tired. Anyway, I guess, in a broad sense, most girls want to date a nice guy who listens, is respectful and isn't too controlling or possessive.
AW: Okay, okay. Cool. What makes a great first date?
JR: Avoid the clich?s: movies, "hanging out." Though, a nice dinner date is tried-and-true. But, ideally, we want something original and thoughtful. But, there's not much to do in Muncie anyway. On the first date, it'd be polite to ask your partner if she has any suggestions or preferences, but if not, act like a man and make a decision.
AW: No kidding. The popular "I don't care, what do you want to do? I don't care, it's up to you" game gets old and fast.
JR: What?
AW: Never mind. Well, how should a true gentleman end the evening?
JR: Definitely, at the very least, walk her to her door. At the very most, deliver a kiss to her cheek.
AW: Only prostitutes make out on the first date.
JR: That's a little harsh.
AW: Sorry. Thanks for the interview.
JR: You're welcome. To the lonely fellows, good luck.
AW: Eat your heart out.
Write to Allyn at aswest@bsu.edu
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